Comfort is Killing Us

A hidden blessing of traveling around to raise monthly support is that every now and then you get to go places you wouldn’t normally go. Last week, we were blessed to attend a missions convention in San Diego, CA.  We were given a day off, so we went to Coronado Beach.  As we walked on the beach, barefoot, in January, we came to the south end of the “Silver Strand” and discovered we had walked right up to Naval Base San Diego, home of Navy SEAL training.  This base is the first stop (24 weeks) in a 2- year journey where people willingly volunteer to undergo the toughest conditions in order to become elite warriors- excruciating physical conditioning, being covered in sand continually, and being subjected to “surf torture”.  One way to describe the training: “Get comfortable with being uncomfortable.” I thought about what it takes to volunteer for such an experience.  At the very least, it takes an ability to embrace discomfort and risk.  Unfortunately, that ability is in seemingly short supply. And it’s needed in more ways than one.

Amy and I are big fans of Tim Elmore, president of Growing Leaders, a nonprofit that provides 6000 public schools, universities, civic organizations, and corporations with resources that foster the growth of young leaders.  Dr. Elmore provides fascinating, research-based observations on the characteristics, challenges, and needed strategies for raising the new generation of leaders.  He recently posted a blog[1]that included this data:

“American parents and schools have removed much of the traditional risks that kids experienced in the past, in the name of safety.  The unintended consequence for millions is that our kids have become risk-averse.”  

The Coddling of the American Mind, Greg Lukianoff and Jonathan Haidt

When you think about it, it’s so true.  There are activities I used to participate in when I was HALF the age of my kids now.  My dad sent me and my brother down the street, crossing a busy road and through a wide open field to Baskin Robbins for ice cream when I was 6 years old!  Nowadays, I stress over letting my 13-year-old walk down the street to the mailbox for fear she’ll end up on a missing persons list. Don’t judge me; I’m the father of a teenage daughter- it’s my job to worry.  That being said, Elmore’s material should cause us all to reflect on the unintended consequences of our choices.  I applaud any parent or leader or individual who strives to make informed, deliberate choices for the welfare of their personal/relational/financial/spiritual/emotional well-being.  However, can we all pause and reflect on the counterproductive outcomes of our addiction to risk-aversion?  

How many of us reached our goals or accomplished any of our dreams by choosing to remain comfortable?  How many of us got what we wanted by playing it safe, remaining in old patterns, doing what we always do and settling for the results we’ve always gotten?  Yes, I’m sure there are examples.  There’s always an exception to the rule.  Here I caution us not to allow the exception to somehow become the rule!  Normally, we only grow when we risk.  Normally, we only achieve when we step out of our comfort zone and discover we are capable of far more than we thought possible. 

“Get comfortable with being uncomfortable.”

— US Navy SEALs

 Perhaps you are already objecting by thinking, “Wait. This isn’t true.  I’ve risked before and failed.  I stepped out, and I fell flat on my face.”  Believe me; I can relate.  I’m not a consistent achiever.  I hold the blue ribbon for “try and fail”.  I’m not a risk-junkie, and I’m well-acquainted with disappointment. However, can we look at what we do attain when we risk, regardless of the outcome?  We discover that failure isn’t final; we discover our innate responses and identify where we are strong as well as where we need improvement.  We move from what we think of ourselves to what we know of ourselves.  We discover the power in a saying we often share in our itineration presentation:  Life begins at the END of your comfort zone.  

Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.

Our story is one of taking that stomach-churning, head-spinning step out of our comfort zone and into a growth zone where the risks have reaped personal, relational, and experiential rewards. Looking back, we shudder to think of what we could have missed out on if we had simply succumbed to risk-aversion. While I’ll never be a Navy SEAL, I do feel an innate pride at being willing to overcome my risk-aversion and participate in impacting the world.  We have met so many missionaries who go to places no one else is going, living amongst people groups that society has overlooked, forgotten, or view as hostile, and reaching them with the love of Jesus.  

The story of the Bible is all about stepping out of one’s comfort zone.  Abraham left the only home he ever knew in UR of the Chaldeans to obey God’s directive: “Go from your country, your people and your father’s household to the land I will show you.” (Genesis 12:1) Jacob was directed to go home after years in exile because he destroyed family relationships. (Genesis 31:3) Talk about awkward.  Moses escaped a death sentence only to be told to return and face the most powerful ruler on the earth and make unconditional demands. (Exodus 3:10)  From Genesis to Revelation, the heroes of faith were ones who took a risk and stepped out of their comfort zones.  Aren’t we glad they did? They weren’t any different than any of us; what distinguished them was their willingness to embrace risk.

Our whole family is experiencing the struggle between comfort and growth.  Our kids are facing the normal awkwardness of moving from children to young adults: more responsibility, more independence, higher expectations, more autonomy, and more consequences for their own actions.  Seldom is there a day where we do not witness the tendency in them to try and regress, simply because something is “not comfortable.”  However, we do not do them, and we do not do ourselves, any service by succumbing to risk-aversion.  Sooner or later, every one of us has to take risks.  Our hope is that by seeing their parents being willing to take a risk of stepping out of our comfort zone into full-time missions work, our kids will find that taking risks is worth it.  

What about you?  Do you see any area of your life that you succumb to risk-aversion in an unhealthy way?  Is there a place in your life that you have been unwilling to risk trusting God in?  Are you afraid to risk being honest about your issues?  Are you afraid to risk asking for help for fear of looking weak?  Are you unwilling to risk failure in pursuit of that God-given dream?  

What is one way you could push past your version of risk-aversion,  take a step of faith, and allow God to prove Himself faithful in?  

P.S.  If you long to join an elite team of people who are dispatched around the world, going places few are willing to go, and making an eternal impact, you should prayerfully consider missions.  You can find out more by going to https://wideopenmissions.org/pipeline



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[1] https://growingleaders.com/blog/how-one-parent-developed-a-mentally-tough-kid/

Always More To The Story by Joel D Slater

Photo by Hans-Peter Gauster on Unsplash

 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.”  Ephesians 6:12-13

We live in a world of information.  Never before in human history has a generation had access to the amount of information that we have. Recently, I had to change a headlight bulb in my car which required disconnecting the battery. No problem- until I discovered that disconnecting the battery re-sets the anti-theft system, disabling the radio, and requiring a code which I didn’t have.  No problem.  A simple Google search and a few pieces of data provided the code and the procedure. Everything from how to sync your car key fob to road conditions anywhere in the world to how to untangle your daughter’s Apple ID from your phone, you can get the information you want.   

We live in an amazing world.  However, there are two sides to this story.  Being accustomed to having access to information, we are conditioned to expect it. Nay, we have a right to information.  We have the ability to know; therefore, we believe we have the right to know.  

Nowhere is this more evident than in one of the many variations of the most popular question people have about God:  Why?  This is especially true when it comes to suffering.  Why does God allow suffering?  Why do you and I experience various levels of suffering- financial, physical, emotional, relational, spiritual, etc.?  Why would God allow this to happen to me?  Why won’t he explain himself?  

““This is a generation that listens with its eyes and thinks with its feelings.” ”

— Ravi Zacharias

 While these kinds of questions are natural, our ability to “Google” anything has eroded our resiliency to ambiguity. As a parent of teenagers, I’ve become deeply interested in the struggles facing Generation Y/iY/Z.  Ravi Zacharias, the great Christian apologist, gives us insight into the way the younger generation processes life: “This is a generation that listens with its eyes and thinks with its feelings.”[1]   Nowhere is this more apparent than with the inability to explain evil.  “If evil appears pointless to me, then it must BE pointless.”[2]   I love how Timothy Keller responds to this: “This reasoning is, of course, fallacious. Just because you can’t see or imagine a good reason why God might allow something to happen doesn’t mean there can’t be one.”[3] Grasping this insight, it is imperative that we be prepared to discuss the ambiguities of life in a way that is patient, resilient, and especially optimistic.  

“Sometimes, it is not a problem to be solved, but a tension to be managed.”

— Andy Stanley

This post isn’t meant to a huge philosophical or apologetic diatribe. I could point you to many great resources that help enormously.  My goal is simply to examine how our ability to know many things sets us up for failure when it comes to things we don’t understand.  Another way to look at it is this: “Sometimes, it is not a problem to be solved, but a tension to be managed.”[4]   When I don’t have all the information or am not able to make sense of something, I tell myself, “There’s always more to the story.” 

 If you don’t know why someone is behaving the way they do; there’s always more to the story.  They could be going through something deeply disturbing- they got a bad diagnosis; they discovered their finances aren’t as secure as they thought; they lost their job; their children are struggling. Who knows?  That restaurant server is slow with bringing your food? Perhaps the computer went down, a cook just walked off the job, or they are simply new.  That organization you count on to do their job? Perhaps they are experiencing personnel turnover.  Perhaps the city just slapped them with a huge citation.  Perhaps the IT director quit and now no one knows the administrator password or can’t access wi-fi.  The horror!!!!!!!  

The bottom line is: there is always more to the story.  When faced with ambiguity, rather than gossip about the endless possibilities that you have no way of proving or verifying, wouldn’t it be better to remind oneself that “There is always more to the story.”  When that person doesn’t return a phone call, an email, a text, or a FB messenger, perhaps “there is more to the story.”  When someone loses something, breaks something, fails at something, perhaps there is more to the story. When someone close to you begins to behave differently, trust me- there is more to that story.  A fantastic resource that explains this in depth is Peter L. Steinke’s book How Your Church Family Works: Understanding Congregations as Emotional Systems. Steinke points out that individuals, families, and churches are all systems, “a set of forces and events that interacts.”[5]  As you interact with those things you don’t understand, begin with “there is always more to this story.”  Follow this up with prayer.  Ask the Holy Spirit to help you discern and help you respond in a way that manifests the fruit of the Spirit.

22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.24 Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. 25 Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. 26 Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other. Galatians 5:22-26

Photo by Miguel Bruna on Unsplash

When it comes to missionary life, THERE IS ALWAYS MORE TO THE STORY!  This includes the ambiguities of financial support falling off, churches not responding to emails in an efficient manner, travel schedules/travel arrangements/ministry assignments/health issues not happening the way you expect.  There is always more to the story. Having served for nearly 20 years in pastoral ministry, I can tell you first-hand that as much as you plan, calendar, organize, and anticipate, anything can happen. I’ve also learned that life is multi-faceted and any interpersonal interaction has multiple variables that can affect someone in a myriad of ways.  

““It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. ”

— Jesus Christ

  We don’t live in just a physical, predictable world; there is much more to it than tangible matter.  We live in a world where the seen and unseen, natural and supernatural, collide and interface on a constant basis.  We are supposed to do our part, and then let God do His part.  Make no mistake: we are in a spiritual battle against forces we cannot see, cannot anticipate, but can respond to.  Just because you cannot find an answer to your issue doesn’t mean there isn’t an answer.  The answer, above all, is Jesus.  He is the Author AND the Finisher of the entire story.  When you are struggling to make sense without a lot of answers, remind yourself that Jesus is the all-sufficient “MORE” to your story.  

He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” Then he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.”6 He said to me: “It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. To the thirsty I will give water without cost from the spring of the water of life.7 Those who are victorious will inherit all this, and I will be their God and they will be my children.” Revelation 21: 5-7

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[1]Zacharias, Ravi. "Think Again - The Gentle Goldsmith." RZIM. Accessed January 16, 2019. https://www.rzim.org/read/just-thinking-magazine/think-again-the-gentle-goldsmith.

[2]Mackie, John Leslie. The Miracle of Theism: Arguments for and against the Existence of God. Oxford: Clarendon Press, 2013.

[3]Keller, Timothy. The Reason for God: Belief in an Age of Skepticism. New York: Penguin, 2016. Pg. 23.

[4]Edmondson, Chris. "Problems to Solve and Tensions to Manage, DRIVE 2010, Session #3, Andy Stanley." Chrisedmondson.tv. May 6, 2010. Accessed January 16, 2019. http://chrisedmondson.blogspot.com/2010/05/problems-to-solve-and-tensions-to.html.

[5]Peter L. Steinke, How Your Church Family Works: Understanding Congregations as Emotional Systems. Herndon, VA: Alban Institute, 2006, 3.

Dying to Get on With It

“I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. 21 For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. 22 If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! 23 I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; 24 but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body.  Philippians 1:19-24

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The first experience we had as newly appointed missionaries was attending Missionary Training/Missionary Renewal (MTMR) in Springfield, Missouri. Our family of six flew from Portland, Oregon to Springfield for a month of training with over 80 other missionary units (individuals or families). We loved it.  We loved the morning sessions full of worship, prayer, spiritual formation, and core value teaching.  We loved the afternoons spent with our regional teams (Africa, Europe, Asia/Pacific, etc.) as we looked at how the morning’s core value was practiced in our regional context. We loved the many prayer evenings spent with experienced missionaries who coached, encouraged, and interceded for us.  Our kids loved the Missionary Kid program- a true crown jewel in the Assemblies of God World Missions infrastructure.   The Slater Six are in full agreement- we’d do it again!  

From the beginning, our training emphasized an underlying principle: dying.  This sounds extreme, but we were not signing up for some extremist expression of devotion or group suicide pact.  We were told however and up front, that dying was going to be a way of life: dying to self; dying to comfort; dying to predictability;  dying to self-assurance, self-reliance, selfishness. Perhaps what is extreme is that this emphasis is completely counter-cultural to American society.

Despite what we hear in contemporary society where technology has eliminated so many burdens and obstacles- think same-day shipping, UberEats, and even Intensive Care at hospitals where doctors practically cheat death- dying is still a part of living. We live with an ever-increasing sense that suffering should be totally eliminated, discomfort should be eradicated, and frustration should be avoided at all costs.  Western value? Yes. American value? Definitely.  Authentically Christian? Not even close.  The noted biblical scholar, Ben Witherington III wrote, “There is no ‘eternal security’ until one is securely in eternity.”[1]

Photo by Kim Teves on Unsplash

 I’m still new to the missionary life; I’m still in America, being able to access Starbucks, wi-fi, and abundant hot water and electricity. I’m not “dying” at all. I know people who are dying inside because their life’s work is dissolving; their children’s very identities are self-destructing; their marriages, health, futures are disintegrating.   However, I am seeing how dying is being introduced to our ongoing routine.  For example, we just packed up all the Christmas decorations for the last time; a precious SlaterSix tradition of “decking the halls” won’t be seen in the same way for a long time.  That’s a death.  Each of my kids reveals the long, slow death of normality and predictability.  We hear it by way of “this is the last time we…”. As if we haven’t practiced the fundamentals enough already, we are continually practicing the “ending” of something before we can “begin” something else. There is no way around it.  Gordon Fee said,

“This is what it means to ‘know Christ’: it means not to look elsewhere for ‘advantages’ of any kind, but to be found in him, and thus participate in his sufferings in the present, in the full light of our certain eschatological future in which we will be finally “conformed” to his present glory.”[2]

The reason I mentioned MTMR was because it was there that we were repeatedly reminded of a key principle: “Itineration is PART OF THE CALL.”  It was explained that the 12-18 months of travel and fund-raising were not something to despise, disparage, or deviate from.  Itineration is as much a part of the missionary life as anything else. While it may not make sense, it is in the midst of this time that I’m learning the fundamentals of dying.  It’s actually a time of grace and mercy; things are changing but in a slow, controlled way that allows us to adjust and acclimate to this new way of life.  

Inherently appealing it is not, but it is the missionary way, but it is, fundamentally, the Christ-follower way.  Greg Mundis, Executive Director of Assemblies of God World Missions, delivered a message at MTMR about “Dying to Self”.  Within that message was a meditation by Bill Britton:

When you are forgotten, or neglected, or purposely set at naught, and you don’t sting or hurt with the insult or the oversight, but your heart is happy, being counted worthy to suffer for Christ, THAT IS DYING TO SELF. 

When your good is evil spoken of, when your wishes are crossed, your advice disregarded, your opinions ridiculed, and you refuse to let anger rise in your heart, or even defend yourself, but take it all in patient, loving silence, THAT IS DYING TO SELF. 

When you lovingly and patiently bear any disorder, any irregularity, any impunctuality, or any annoyance; when you can stand face to face with waste, folly, extravagance, spiritual insensibility, and endure it as Jesus endured it, THAT IS DYING TO SELF. 

When you are content with any food, any offering, any raiment, any climate, any society, any solitude, any interruption by the will of God, THAT IS DYING TO SELF. 

When you never care to refer to yourself in conversation, or to record your own good works, or itch after commendation, when you can truly love to be unknown, THAT IS DYING TO SELF. 

When you can see your brother prosper and have his needs met, and can honestly rejoice with him in spirit and feel no envy nor question God, while your own needs are far greater and in desperate circumstances, THAT IS DYING TO SELF. 

When you can receive correction and reproof from one of less stature than yourself, and can humbly submit inwardly as well as outwardly, finding no rebellion or resentment rising up within your heart, THAT IS DYING TO SELF. 

Are you dead yet? In these last days the Spirit would bring us to the Cross. “That I may know Him...being made conformable to His death.” 

Resisting death is an innate response.  We are meant to live, not die.  But the life the world offers cannot compare to the life we find IN CHRIST.  We cannot bring the old life into this new life in Christ.  Something has to die.  However, we are not left empty-handed.

The glorious realization is that, when we die to self, Jesus replaces whatever is lost with something far more valuable, sustainable, significant.  Whenever I find myself sliding into the natural resentment of “dying to self”, wondering if it’s worth it, and “what’s in it for me?”, I reflect on something Timothy Keller wrote:

“On the Day of the Lord—the day that God makes everything right, the day that everything sad comes untrue—on that day the same thing will happen to your own hurts and sadness. You will find that the worst things that have ever happened to you will in the end only enhance your eternal delight. On that day, all of it will be turned inside out and you will know joy beyond the walls of the world. The joy of your glory will be that much greater for every scar you bear. So live in the light of the resurrection and renewal of this world, and of yourself, in a glorious, never-ending, joyful dance of grace.” 

 ― Timothy Keller, Jesus the King: Understanding the Life and Death of the Son of God

How does this land with you? What are you fighting to keep alive? What are you struggling with letting go? Does the experience of “dying to self” cause you to run away, bury your head in the sand, or compel you to evaluate what you are holding onto with such great effort? Ask yourself: is this truly living or does Jesus have a better way?

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[1]Ben Witherington, III, Paul's Letter to the Philippians: A Socio-rhetorical Commentary,  Grand Rapids, MI: Eerdmans, 2011, 208.

[2]Gordon D. Fee, Paul’s Letter to the Philippians(The New International Commentary on the New Testament). Grand Rapids: Eerdmans, 1995, Kindle 6349 of 20914.

Play the Long Game by Joel D Slater

"We have to reach hard in the direction of the lives we want, even if it’s difficult to do so." Cheryl Strayed

What do you do when your plans fall apart? Don’t misinterpret this question.  We are fully committed and progressing towards going to Malawi, southern Africa. This post is about the value of learning life-long lessons in the arena of an unpredictable life. 

Years ago, I felt like God spoke a word of correction to my spirit.  I had worked hard in developing a plan, and I was trying to work the plan.  However, the plan was falling apart.  All the arrangements I had made were collapsing. I had arranged to house 30 students at a church for a week during a missions trip. Three days into the trip, I was told we had to leave because another group had just called and asked to stay at the church. We were being “evicted”.  My budget had not planned to put 30 students plus 8 leaders in motel rooms for four nights. I hadn’t made reservations for blocks of rooms in southern California in the middle of tourist season.  Furthermore, there was a major staffing change at the church we were going to work with, and all the events we were prepared to participate in were cancelled, scaled down, or had been only partially planned.  All the items on the planned itinerary were being scratched off.  What was the point of planning if it was all going up in smoke? That’s when I felt the Lord speak: “Go ahead and make a plan, but hold it loosely in your hand.”  I don’t say this lightly.  There is no way in the world that I came up with such a thought.

This advice is one of my primary axioms of life.  It’s a principle that allows me to chase short-term goals but have long-term perspective.  I wonder what was going on in King Solomon’s life when he wrote,

“Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.” 

Proverbs 19:21

Solomon is famous for “making it happen”.  He built the Temple in Jerusalem. He built beautiful palaces, gardens, fortifications, and a portfolio of other projects.  He had a vision!  But what happens when the vision hits a speedbump?  What happens when the ideal meets the real?  What happens when you reach the peak but have to head down into the next valley? The wisest man who ever lived was wise enough to take this perspective:  Play the long-game.  

Make the plan, but hold it loosely in your hand.  If whatever you are working on is taken away, take a deep breath and recognize something else will be put in your hand.  I realize that when I hold on to something too tightly, I am exhibiting an arrogant sense of control and ownership.  The truth is: I don’t own anything.  There is no guarantee that I’ll ever own anything forever.  All I can do is take care of it, steward it, for the time being. That goes for my own life.  I don’t own my life.  It’s not mine.  I belong to God.  Therefore, all I can do is manage this life well for God. Our experience stepping into full-time missions has underscored this lesson multiple times already.  Even when all our strategies, plans, methods, and efforts don’t seem to work in the moment, God shows up and demonstrates that His purposes are prevailing.   

Confession: I didn’t embrace the lesson of the long-game on that missions trip. I behaved awfully on that trip- angry, irritable, impatient.  Honestly, I came home defeated.  It didn’t turn out like anything I had planned. I didn’t see the worth of planning anything, anymore. But, eventually, I learned a lot.  I learned not to do everything myself.  I learned to ask for help.  I learned to unleash other people who could do things better than me.  I learned to go ahead and plan, but when things went sideways, I’d hold it loosely in my hand.  The next year’s missions trip was completely different.  Things still went sideways: chaos with transportation, drama in relationships, potentially having to leave a middle-schooler at the Mexican border because he had misplaced his passport.  Don’t worry; we got him through.    The difference wasn’t that my plans worked better. I laughed more.  I enjoyed watching leaders lead.  I rolled with the punches, and we got a lot more done. Short-term problems didn’t prevent long-term progress.  

Failed plans should not be interpreted as a failed vision. Visions don't change, they are only refined. Plans rarely stay the same, and are scrapped or adjusted as needed. Be stubborn about the vision, but flexible with your plan. John Maxwell

Right now, I’m sitting at my computer, looking at my calendar and my initial plans.  I’ve hit a wall.  It’s nothing that any experienced missionary hasn’t faced countless times; however, it’s new to us. It’s then I remember what happened a few months ago.  I was sitting in a similar spot, feeling that similar “stuck” feeling.  My January calendar was looking VERY empty. Not good.  Suddenly, I got a response from an email I sent a month prior.  The answer perfectly met my need.  I had forgotten I’d even sent that email.  I’m glad God was thinking further out ahead than I was.  

Bottom line:  What do you do when you don’t know what to do?  Play the long-game.  What do you do when you’ve done everything you know to do?  Play the long-game.That goal you are struggling to reach?  That relationship that isn’t working?  That dream that seems to have died?  Realize that God is out in front, working in the background, using anything and everything to accomplish His purposes. God is playing the long-game.  Who knew that a short-term missions trip 15 years ago would teach me a lesson I’m now embracing as a life axiom for a life-long missions commitment?  See, I had many plans in my heart, but the Lord’s purpose prevailed.  

How can you apply this idea of the long-game to your life?  What purpose may God have for using your seemingly failed plans?  

“New” Doesn’t Mean What We Think It Means by Joel D Slater

Remember the movie The Princess Bride?  The bad guy, Vizzini, keeps responding to various occurrences with the expression, “Inconceivable!”  The best part is when heroic swordsman Inigo Montoya’s observes: “You keep using that word.  I do not think it means what you think it means.”1  It’s funny because it’s true.  We act like Vizzini.  We all love the idea of “new”.  A new year. A new beginning. A new job.  A new relationship.  The problem lies in how we perceive “new”.  It’s not what we think it is.  

In our last post, we talked about “the neutral zone”. It’s the place to prepare ourselves for facing the significantly different. We need the neutral zone to be ready for new beginnings, but we aren’t supposed to stay in neutral forever. William Bridges describes the attributes of “new beginnings”:  

Beginnings involve new understandings, new values and attitudes. Beginnings are marked by a release of energy in a new direction – they are an expression of a fresh identity. Well-managed transition allows people to establish in new roles with an understanding of their purpose, the part they play, and how to contribute and participate most effectively. They are reoriented and renewed.2

 Did you catch that?  Beginnings are an expression of a fresh identity.  Beginnings are a chance to reinvent oneself.  The neutral zone allows one to inventory any hang-ups or hindrances that the old routine maintained.  Without the neutral zone, we fail to truly have a “new beginning”.  People who leave a role or position frequently illustrate this mistake.  A pastor who goes from one church to another every three years for twelve years thinks he/she has twelve years of experience.  In fact, he/she most likely has three years of experience repeated four times.  They may be the new person on the team, but they themselves may not be a new person. They may be the same as they were at their last job, enacting the same patterns and processes in a different environment.  

Our family just watched the new movie, Christopher Robin3, where the now-grown human friend of beloved characters Winnie the Pooh, Tigger, Piglet, etc., is locked in a pattern of unfulfillment and paralyzing stagnation, having lost the childhood sense of adventure. It is only when the adorable Pooh speaks simple but fundamentally challenging truth that Christopher Robin begins to truly live:

Christopher Robin: I wonder which way.

Winnie The Pooh: I always get to where I'm going by walking away from where I've been.4

Get ready for a “truth bomb”: for most of us, when we think of something “new”, what we really want is a better version of something old.  When the mechanic says our car is “as good as new”, we expect to get the car back in its original condition.  Imagine your surprise if you dropped off a broken-down sports car and are now picking up a brand-new minivan.  When you start a new job, how long does it take before you either think or say something like, “That’s not how we did it at my old job.”  We are susceptible to expecting “new” to simply be a better version of something from our past, something familiar, something that simply needed an upgrade.  But when we make a huge life transition, we are not upgrading, modifying, or adjusting. We are starting something different.   

“When we think of something “new”, what we really want is a better version of something old.”

— William Bridges

I (Joel) discovered this almost immediately.  Having served in pastoral ministry for 19 years, suddenly I found myself in a completely different ministry environment.  I had made the mistake of thinking that missionary life is pastoral life in an international context.  It’s not; it’s completely different.  I had moved from an employee to an independent contractor.  I had gone from a desk/office/building to a laptop/coffee shop/car. Amy has had to adapt to me being at home, underfoot, and exposed to my erratic behavior more often.  Welcome to what is truly “new”.  It’s not anything like the old life.  It takes enormous time and energy (comparatively) to do seemingly simple things compared to the set schedules and infrastructure of the former environment. New bosses respond differently than old bosses.  New processes frustrate you simply because it takes time and effort to learn a new system. It’s not bad; it’s different. It’s truly new. Most importantly, it’s a microcosm that illustrates “new” is all part of God’s grand plan:  

Then I saw “a new heaven and a new earth,”for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. 2 I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bridebeautifully dressed for her husband. 3 And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. 4 ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”5 He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” Revelation 21:1-5a

Here is the question: will we settle for our current condition or will we decide to go in a different direction?  It’s not going to be comfortable; rather, it will require us to walk away from comfort.  Everything is new to us in this first itineration cycle.  We are at a different church in a different part of the country each week.  We are always starting new relationships rather than cultivating a single circle of relationships.  We are increasingly discovering the common denominators of our personalities, our strengths, our weaknesses, working as a team rather than as detached individuals. It’s bringing us closer together as a family.   We are choosing not to succumb to doing life the way we’ve always done it.  We are walking, willfully, into the “great unknown.”  The next six months will illustrate this more and more:  we will sell many of our belongings, we will put other things in long-term storage, we will rent our house to strangers, we will say goodbye to cold winters, and exchange the old life for a new life.  

Our invitation to you is to recognize what “new” truly means.  We invite you to examine and evaluate how this new year does not have to simply involve repeating old patterns but with more effort.  Do something truly new, different, unique, challenging, outside your comfort zone, and discover you are not what you were. You can be truly be “new”.  

How do you interpret the concept of something being “new”?

---

1The Princess Bride. Directed by Rob Reiner. Performed by Cary Elwes, Mandy Patinkin, Robin Wright. Santa Monica, CA: MGM Home Entertainment, 1987. Film.

2Bridges, Susan. "What Is William Bridges' Transition Model?" William Bridges Associates. Accessed January 03, 2019. https://wmbridges.com/what-is-transition/.

3Forster, Marc. "Christopher Robin." Disney Movies. Accessed January 05, 2019. https://movies.disney.com/christopher-robin.

4Ibid.  

Waiting in Neutral by Joel D Slater

Do you ever notice there are certain songs that don’t just tickle your ear, they stir your soul?  Are songs that resonate with where you are in life and seem like they were written specifically for you?  Which song affects you like that?  For me (Joel) there are two songs that impact me down to my core.  The first is Elevation Music’s “Do It Again”[1] and the second is “Take Courage” by Bethel Music.[2]  Bethel’s song resonates with me when it comes to the transition our family is undergoing currently and provides a solution for an interesting affliction. In this second of a three-part blog series, I want to look at the overlooked value of the second stage of transition: the neutral zone

 By its very nature, the world conditions us for frustration. Recognize that our society is designed for action.  We are encouraged to “do something”.  There is a whole generation that is driven to do something about anything and everything- poverty, the environment, social justice. And yes, we must act to address those things. But are we the sum total of our actions? What if we don’t know what to do, or, more likely, we are in a transition stage of getting ready to tackle a cause but are not there yet?  What happens when you have done everything you know to do and then hit a wall?  Are you done?  Are you used up?  

When it comes to transitions, Americans tend to end something and immediately start something else.  You quit a job on Friday; you start a new job on Monday.  The Slater Six has discovered this recently. We occasionally startle people in our home town when we run into them.  “Are you back from Africa already?” they ask.  They assume we left our church position on Sunday afternoon and got on a plane the next day to go to Malawi.  It doesn’t work that way.  Yes, we left for training but  then we needed to start speaking in churches and meeting potential donors in order to raise our monthly budget. It’s a lot to do, but there is a lot of waiting, too. And, it’s actually good.  After the first stage of “ending something”, i.e. leaving our pastoral position, William Bridges, author of Transitions: Making Sense of Life’s Changes, points out that there is a second step in the transition process called “the Neutral Zone”:  

People go through an in-between time when the old is gone but the new isn’t fully operational. It is when the critical psychological realignments and re-patternings take place. It is the very core of the transition process. This is the time between the old reality and sense of identity and the new one. People are creating new processes and learning what the new roles will be, but it’s in flux and doesn’t feel comfortable yet. It is the seedbed of the new beginnings that are sought.[3]

The Neutral Zone is hard for most of us. We can’t just sit here and wait around (believe me, we don’t).  But it feels like it.  A voice inside us seems to scream, “Don’t just stand there; do something!” Yet, here lies the lesson we are learning: just like the clutch in a car disengages the engine from the transmission, so our souls need to disengage from one thing before it can engage with another.  There is a humbling lesson in learning that God is at work even when we are not.  Kristene Dimarco sings, 

Slow down, take time
Breath in He said
He'd reveal what's to come
The thoughts in His mind
Always higher than mine
He'll reveal all to come

Did you catch that?  Slow down, take time…the thoughts in His mind…always higher than mine...  Do we ever suggest to ourselves that the delays, the pauses, the waiting, just might be a gift from God?  He may be preparing us, transitioning us, setting us up in the best possible way before we engage our new calling?  Some of us just may be straining to start that new project, jump into that new occupation, tackle that new problem, find that new relationship but are frustrated that it hasn’t happened yet.  What if you and I embraced the Neutral Zone as a gift rather than an obstacle? I don’t think this is a hypothesis.  Even the Bible addresses this peculiar human tendency to ignore or overstep the Neutral Zone. The writer of the book of Hebrews aims to show a group of people, weary of persecution and striving and being tempted to go back to their old, it-all-depends-on-me taking action-ways, a better way.  This group of Christians had faced persecution and survived, enjoyed a time of security, but then began to face persecution again. Their endurance had waned, and they were tempted to go return to the old religion based on rituals and works rather than the seemingly passive approach of trusting God wholeheartedly.  God’s direction was to find satisfaction in the finished work of Jesus, rather than re-invent the wheel themselves.  Perhaps the Neutral Zone could be interpreted as a type of Sabbath rest?

Therefore, since the promise of entering his rest still stands, let us be careful that none of you be found to have fallen short of it.Hebrews 4:1

You and I don’t have to panic about the “neutral zone”. There is plenty of work to be done, and there is plenty of opportunity out there to be busy.  We are not called to be lazy, and we are not called to be complacent.  However, none of us is omniscient and knows why things happen or don’t happen. Thankfully, God does, and He is faithful.  That’s why I love the Elevation song.  Just when I think I can’t stand being in “the neutral zone” any longer, I remember the following words:  

Walking around these walls

I thought by now they'd fall

But You have never failed me yet

Waiting for change to come

Knowing the battle's won

For You have never failed me yet 

Your promise still stands

Great is Your faithfulness, faithfulness

I'm still in Your hands This is my confidence,

You've never failed me yet

What does your “neutral zone” look like?  How are you responding to it?  Do you resent it?  Do you strive to escape it?  Is it causing you to doubt the character of God?  What if you looked at your “neutral zone” as the gift it is?  God hasn’t left you; He hasn’t forsaken you.  He’s preparing you for something more.  Like the song says, HE IS IN THE WAITING!  Don’t waste this precious Neutral Zone of Sabbath rest.  Do engage with Jesus more.  Do more listening. Do more meditating on His Word. Do more surrendering.  Do more releasing.  Do more forgiving.  Any and all of these things may seem passive and unproductive at first, but they are powerful disciplines that shed emotional and spiritual weight in order to be ready to receive the next assignment.  Look back and remember those times when God surprised you with a miracle; He’s God, He hasn’t changed, and He’ll do it again.  

---

[1]Do It Again| Official Lyric Video | Elevation Worship. September 30, 2016. Accessed January 4, 2019. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0B_lnQIITxU.

[2]Take Courage. 2016. Accessed January 4, 2019. https://bethelmusic.com/chords-and-lyrics/take-courage-3/. CCLI# 7074837 written by Kristene DiMarco, Jeremy Riddle, Joel Taylor

[3]Bridges, Susan. "What Is William Bridges' Transition Model?" William Bridges Associates. Accessed January 03, 2019. https://wmbridges.com/what-is-transition/.

“New Beginnings Start with Ending Old Doings” by Joel D Slater

The New Year is notorious for setting new goals and “resolutions”. We all know and smile when we either hear others or hear ourselves make resolutions, probably because we harbor doubts that any of us will follow through with them for any significant length of time.  That’s not going to the case with the Slater Six. We “resolved” to leave the familiar comforts of American life and move the nation of Malawi by August, 2019. With the New Year arriving, we have just passed the 6-month marker in our itineration process.  This first six months have been full of adventures, events, and new locations.  We have gone to places in Oregon, Washington, South Dakota, and North Carolina that we would never have imagined we’d go.  We have met people from all over the country and the world who have become fast friends.  We have let go of security and seen God provide support in ways only He could make happen. This is much more than a change of occupation, a change of pace, a change of scenery.  This has been a transition. 

            William Bridges wrote a book called Transitions: Making Sense of Life’s Changes that has been our roadmap. None of this would be possible without the first requirement of a transition- the endingof something.  We have learned that changeis an event- you do it and get through it.  But, as Bridges so insightfully observes,transitionis psychological.[1]  According to his website, 

This first phase of transition begins when people identify what they are losing and learn how to manage these losses. They determine what is over and being left behind, and what they will keep. These may include relationships, processes, team members or locations.[2]

The kids feel it: every Christmas tradition we observed was marked with the observation that “this is our last (insert event here) in America.”  Amy felt it every time she either decorated the living room or when we attended her birthday treat, The Nutcracker ballet.  I feel it by simply driving around Portland where I was born, raised, and have lived the vast majority of my life.  BUT…in order to start new things, one must end doing the old things. And..it’s HARD.  That word may seem easy to interpret, but it’s not.  No one can tell you what it means.  We sat in class after class during our summer missionary training and heard variations of “this is going to be hard” or “that transition is going to be hard”.  I honestly sat there, agreed with every word, and only realized later what the phrase “this is going to be hard” really meant.  It’s a form of death.  It’s an ending.  There is a form of grief involved.  But it has to be done.  

In order for any of us to fulfill our full potential, it must begin with an ending.  We must give up things that we are so comfortable with that we think it defines us.  Does it? Does that possession, that position, that prize, or that person really define you? What if God was so good, so generous, so faithful, that anything He’s asking you or I to give up, to end, will be replaced with something that, if you knew what it was, you would struggle with thinking it’s too good to be true?  We believe that is what God is promising.  Anything we are asked to end, God is willing to exchange for something better.  That doesn’t mean a direct exchange.  Not a house for a house.  A job for a job.  It may simply mean exchanging security for significance.  It may mean assurance for adventure.  The apostle Paul tried to help a group of people realize that beginning a relationship with Jesus and following Jesus required ending a way of doing life in exchange for beginning to live the fullest life in Jesus.  

Not that I have already attained,[c] or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me. 13 Brethren, I do not count myself to have [d]apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, 14 I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.   Philippians 3:12-14 

As you transition from an old habit to forming a new one, as you transition from a job, a home, a relationship, recognize that the transition requires ending something as much as starting something new.  Recognize that it’ll hurt but the old axiom is true: “no pain, no gain”.  

“Sometimes God brings times of transition to create transformation.” Lynn Cowell

*We invite you to take a step of transitioning from fearful to faith-filled, from inwardly focused to outwardly focused, by supporting us monthly through prayer and financial support.  TAKE ACTION!

[1] Bridges, William. Transitions: Making Sense of Life’s Changes. Cambridge, MA: Da Capo Press, 2009.

[2] Bridges, Susan. "What Is William Bridges' Transition Model?" William Bridges Associates. Accessed January 03, 2019. https://wmbridges.com/what-is-transition/.

again

I am here again,

Needing your grace again,

Pouring out my heart again,

You have proven faithful again.

I tried again,

To go my own way again,

And you drew me back again,

Your mercy sustains again.

I come weary again,

God, I'm empty and tired again,

I'm reaching for you again,

You hold me in grace again.

So desperate again,

My soul aches for your Word again,

My hands lifted to you again,

Your presence refreshes again.

Broken again,

Clinging to you again,

Your hands lift me up again,

You make all things new again.

I won't move again,

Waiting for you again,

Pausing and quiet again,

You come and renew again.

Peaceful and still again,

Such love abounds again,

You hold nothing back again,

You meet every need again.

Lord, I am here again.

ambition will get you nowhere

We strive. We push. We plan. We pursue. Through blood, sweat and tears we power on to meet our goals, fix our problems and cling to control.

In our striving, pushing, planning and pursuing, we oftentimes find ourselves empty, weary, angry and spent.

We gained, but we also lost.

Ambition will eventually fade into either self-reliance and pride, or depression and loss of joy. While it sounds respectable and commendable, the unintended consequences can lead us further from the heart of God rather than the closeness with Christ that we are longing for. Even if the work is good, and even if it centers on Christ, it is the heart - our hearts - that take a beating.

Goals and plans and hard work are not to be discounted. In fact, God commends a studious and faithful worker! Laziness is not the alternative for ambition. However, ambition, as noble is it may seem, will get you nowhere.

So counter cultural, I know! Most of us in our western mindset can hardly fathom this concept that ambition might not be God's perfect way. Ambitious people win the world! How dare I question the motives and outcomes of ambition?

My answer: Jesus.

"After the approval of heaven at Jordan came the assault of hell; after the dove, the devil. This is the usual order in spiritual experience, and in this the Master was no exception."  J. Oswald Sanders

After his baptism, and after God's public approval, came what we know to be Christ's wilderness experience. Forty days of fasting and prayer. Alone. Pulled out of the public square and into battle. Temptation came at him. And while his body was weak and weary, Christ did not succumb to the prodding and agitating words of the tempter. It was out of this experience that Christ modeled for us the "how to's" to following God's call.

In our human nature when God invites us to join him in pursuit of a dream, a calling, a ministry - whatever it might be - we instantaneously want to grab it by the horns and make it happen. Bend it into submission. Work ourselves to the bone in order to see the end result. I find it convicting that Christ did nothing of that nature when God's mantle was placed upon him.

Rather than jump into his role as the Son of God - God incarnate - picking disciples, embarking on a preaching circuit, and disrupting the status quo, he first went into the wilderness.

We hate the wilderness. We try so hard to avoid it at all costs.

But if Christ is our model, and if Christ chose the wilderness over an ambitious agenda to please his Father, what makes us think we can avoid the wilderness ourselves? Are we better than our sinless Savior?

Interesting to me that the second temptation that came to Christ was in the form of  ambition - the desire to achieve things. (1)

Tempted to jump off of the highest point of the Temple and to command his angels to save him, Christ refused. The Jews were waiting for a Messiah that would overthrow the government, wield his power and position and stun them with his wonders. This stunt would have given the world what it wanted. But it was not God's way.

Ambition can get us what we want, but it may not be God's perfect way.

Humbling and convicting, so often is Christ's example to me. We have to fight hard to overcome the mindset of this world, even in the world of ministry where self-promotion, numerical success, attractive ministries, attractive ministers, cross-less expectations, full bellies and hungry hearts are common distractions. The way of Jesus is so counterintuitive. Completely upside down to our societal and cultural norms. And yet so affirming and satisfying.

"For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light." Matthew 11:30 (NLT)

Chasing after dreams and obeying the call of God was never meant to leave us empty, weary, angry and spent. Pursuing God's call and mission was meant to be a joy...a task, perhaps, beyond our capabilities, but well within our reach.

I think the lesson in all of this is that before we begin the task, we must spend time in the wilderness.

Let the wilderness drive us closer to Jesus.

Let the wilderness teach us the heart of God.

Let the wilderness instruct us in the rhythms of God's grace.

Let the wilderness empower us for the task ahead.

Ambition will get you nowhere.

Submission to the wilderness will lead us to Jesus.

"We long for showy fruit when the Lord calls us to focus on clinging to him. We want to produce, but he reminds us that he provides as we abide. Abiding is not inactive." Ruth Chou Simons

"I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing." John 15:5

1. The Incomparable Christ, by J. Oswald Sanders, page 87

He calls you by name

During World War II more than 140,000 wartime prisoners served in Japanese POW camps. Thousands of them died from exhaustion, dehydration and starvation. However, for many it was not the inhumane living conditions that threatened their survival, but the constant mental and emotional abuse suffered daily at the hands of the Japanese prison guards. The dehumanization of their souls was more than they could bear, and for many, the loss of hope and the crisis of identity was beyond survival. We have an enemy. We often do not fight flesh and blood, but our battles rage in the mind. Our enemy would love to steal our identity. He knows that if he can crush our dignity and distort our identity, then he will win.

Maybe you are a mom, working feverishly to juggle all of the demands of your family, and in your most mentally exhausted state of mind, you hear a little voice in your head telling you, "You are not good enough".

Maybe you've been trying to have a baby for years, and things are not working out the way you had planned. Disappointment, hurt and anger begin to set in. And in quiet, lonely moments you hear a little voice in your head telling you, "You are not worthy".

Maybe you are single, hoping to find true love, someone to spend the rest of your life with, but time and time again you find yourself broken-hearted and rejected. And in those moments perhaps you hear a little voice in your head telling you, "You are unlovable".

Maybe you have hit a moment of crisis in your life, and depression has settled in like thick fog on a winter morning. You can't seem to rise above it or see beyond it, and you hear a little voice in your head telling you, "You are not strong enough".

I don't know the narrative playing in your head. I don't know what lies are trying to steal away your dignity, and essentially your identity, and I don't know if your faith is at its breaking point.  I do know, however, that the God who created all things created you. And I know that he knows you and has called you by name.

"Fear not: for I have redeemed you, I have called you by name; you are mine." Isaiah 43:1

God has redeemed you.

God has called you by name.

You belong to God.

When you feel your identity is being threatened, just remember to whom you belong.  Don't lose hope.  Don't let the enemy run away with your identity.  You belong to the God of all creation.  You belong to King of kings.

He calls you by name.  And he says, "You are mine".

the other side

"And having disarmed the powers and authorities, he made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them by the cross." Colossians 2:15

That phrase, "triumphing over them" means "a general's triumph who returns victorious". (Matthew Henry's Commentary) Think about that. Christ's death on the cross stripped the enemy of all power and control. No longer are we captive to the struggles and trials of this world. We walk in the same triumphant procession that Christ walked in through his resurrection. On the other side of the cross we stand redeemed and victorious.

There is healing on the other side.

There is redemption on the other side.

There is joy on the the other side.

There is freedom on the other side.

There is laughter on the other side.

There is hope on the other side.

There is forgiveness on the other side.

There is dancing on the other side.

There is remembrance on the other side.

There is fullness on the other side.

There is the promise of more on the other side.

There is blessing on the other side.

On the other side of our brokenness...on the other side of our grief...on the other side of all the letting go and hard goodbyes...

...there is Jesus.

On the other side of the cross we have victory.

On the other side of pain we are triumphant.

On the other side of death there is the resurrection.

Jesus will never leave us nor forsake us.

And he will see us through to the other side.

take my life, Lord

"Our significance is measured by the size of the cause that we live for and the price we are willing to pay to accomplish it." - John York

Two years ago I felt a little nudge. Not just me, but my husband, Joel, as well. It was subtle at first - like someone tapping on my shoulder, lightly. As the tapping progressed, it became more and more challenging to ignore it. It reminded me of the countless times one of our children has tried to (not-so-discreetly) get our attention in a crowd, and the longer they have to wait, the more urgent the tapping becomes. Eventually, the light tapping on my shoulder gave way to an undeniable nudge that something, or someone, was trying to get my attention.

Joel and I began praying. Before we tried to fix the internal discomfort we were feeling, we knew we needed to take all of these emotions and questions and bring them to God. And so we did.

We prayed for a year, and then we knew. We knew God had released us from our current church. We didn't know what that meant immediately or long term, but we knew that God was beginning to shift the direction of our future.

And so, we began to pray some more. This time for direction, clarity and wisdom.

During much of this time of prayer and seeking, there was one "knock on our door" that our hearts continued to return to: Malawi, Africa. It seemed preposterous. So completely out of the realm of reality. And yet, there it was. And there it continued to be. Five months of focussed prayer, fasting and waiting went by. And then we knew, again. God was not just releasing us from our current church, but he was getting ready to sweep us off of our feet and carry us into an entirely new season of ministry.

Missions.

So many emotions surface when you realize that God's redirection is far from anything you could have ever conceived on your own. It took me a few months to wrap my mind around this shift in paradigm. Ministry was always where my heart was, and for most of my 20's I thought I would be a missionary, but then life happened. Our roots began to settle in Stateside ministry. Twenty more years went by. Missions was a lifetime ago. I couldn't conceive that the call to missions was now.

Oftentimes we lift up prayers or sing beautiful songs that declare our heart's dedication to following Jesus. We are willing to surrender all in moments of emotion or when we come to the end our ourselves. Through this journey that Joel and I have been on for almost two years, I have felt the gentle hands of God chipping away at my expectations, my plans, my agendas and my dreams. The hardcore and real surrendering has been a process. The heart dedication to following Jesus has been refining.

I have watched as opportunities and ministries that I knew I was made for pass right over me, and I have wondered out loud to God, "Why?"

I have felt rejection and uninvited and cried like a teenage girl, "What are you doing, God?"

And in response I have heard a faint whisper deep in my heart, "Am I enough for you?"

Last spring, during a particularly painful part of this journey for me, I recalled the old hymn, Take My Life and Let It Be. The words of this song stuck in my head. And for months afterwards I could hear the melody, and I would find myself singing along.

Take my life and let it be consecrated, Lord, to Thee

Take my moments and my days, let them flow in endless praise

Take my hands and let them move at the impulse of Thy love

Take my feet and let them be swift and beautiful for Thee

Take my voice and let me sing, always, only for my King

Take my lips and let them be filled with messages from Thee

Take my silver and my gold, not a mite would I withhold

Take my intellect and use every power as Thou shalt choose

Take my will and make it Thine, it shall be no longer mine

Take my heart it is Thine own, it shall be Thy royal throne

Take my love, my Lord, I pour at Thy feet its treasure store

Take myself and I will be ever, only, all for Thee

- Frances Ridley Havergal -

When Joel and I obeyed the leading of God to join His work on the mission field, our hearts began to beat a little bit faster. When we had come to the consensus that obeying God, surrendering our preconceived ideas of ministry and our future to Him, suddenly the most overwhelming sense of God's peace invaded our hearts. It truly is peace that passes understanding. There are so many parts of this call to missions that don't add up or make sense in our very calculated and structured lives.

But God's peace.

His assurance that he is with us reminds us that no matter how challenging the road before us, Jesus will be right there with us.

His promise to supply all of our needs keeps our heads in check when things don't add up on paper.

His light before us, shining just bright enough for the next step ahead, keeps us dependent and builds an unshakable faith.

And so, Joel, myself, and our four children - Sydney, Brooklyn, Jackson and Jasper - are embarking on a new quest. A new chapter. A new season of life, calling, ministry. There is no turning back.

And we say, "Take our lives, Lord, and let them be...".

quiet time

Quiet Time (1994)

An early morning prayer

A song to the sky

My heart lays before you

The Spirit draws nigh

Adoration and music

Praise abounds from my soul

I fall in love with my Savior

His touch makes me whole

I whisper His name

The heavens rejoice

A new language unfolds

Ringing clear from my voice

In the name of the Father

I bow to the knee

I surrender with promise

My Lord strengthens me

The sun rises before me

I look to the dawn

Fresh fragrance of morning

To its scent I am drawn

For this day I am grateful

For the rich living streams

Of the unwritten poem

The beginning of dreams

brokenness is not failure

"A divine romance exists between the broken and their Creator." - Embracing Brokenness, by Alan Nelson

Before God can do great things through us, he must do great things in us. And oftentimes this work comes with a price.

Brokenness.

We see brokenness as failure, God sees greatness.

We see brokenness as the end, God sees it as a beginning; an opportunity for deeper intimacy with him.

The soul that is withered, weak and clinging to Jesus as the only source of life, hope, healing and redemption is the soul that has found true humility at the foot of the cross. And when I say "the foot of the cross" I'm not referring to those emotionally charged moments when we cry out to God for help. What I mean is that at the foot of the cross we begin to see ourselves exactly as we are. We see our mess. We see our sin. We see every mishap and wrongdoing. And we see Jesus.

Brokenness is that point in our journey when we allow Jesus to climb into the mess of our lives so that he can begin to pull out the debris that has kept us from full surrender and abundance. Brokenness is where the old dies away.

It's not a pretty sight.

It hurts.

It gets plain ugly.

Nobody knows quite what to do with a broken person.

In fact, we try so hard to fix the broken people, don't we? We can't handle it. It's too much for us. We think if we sing the right songs, pump them up with Scripture, and make sure they're clothes are neat and pressed that somehow we can will them out of brokenness. But it is futile. Not one of us can shortcut the work of God both in our own lives and in the lives of others. We can't pull out of brokenness prematurely. When we do, the work goes unfinished. Brokenness, as bitter as it is, must be seen all the way to the end.

It's okay to be broken.

Brokenness is not failure.

Brokenness is the most precious gift we could ever bring to God.

"You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it; you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings. The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise." Psalm 51:16,17

Brokenness is not the end...it is the beginning of redemption, and it is the season before greatness. It is the refining that is needed to fully embrace God's position in our lives and his plan for our future.

The breaking will not last forever, but it is not gone for good.

God allows seasons of brokenness to come in and out of our lives as long as there is something inside of us that needs to be squeezed out. The purest olive oil is the result of a long and necessary process. One crush of the olive can't produce the kind of oil that satisfies. It takes time, it takes pressure, it takes pain.

Please hear me out...if you are breaking, you are not failing. If you are broken, you have not failed. God is already at work producing in you the character, the strength, the compassion woven deep within your heart to stand in victory on the other side of this journey. His hand has not left you. His hand is holding you. He is holding your tears, your cries of "I don't understand why this is happening", your losses and your dark days.

"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Psalm 35:18

The world may see failure. God sees greatness.

"Sorrow is better than laughter, because a sad face is good for the heart. The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning, but the heart of fools is in the house of pleasure." Ecclesiastes 7:3-4

gracious

Gracious God in the morning

Your guiding hand through the day

You hold my moments and my mistakes

You are never far away.

Glorious God of the sunset

Painting skies in marvelous hues

Your patient love sustains me

Your promise will see me through.

Generous God of the bedtime hour

When I lay my head down for the night

You have been my sure provider

You draw us in and hold us tight.

God is gracious: John 1:16 "From His abundance we have all received one gracious blessing after another."

God is glorious: Psalm 19:1 "The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands."

God is generous: Psalm 3:5 "I lie down and sleep; I wake again, because the Lord sustains me."

it's okay to struggle

The struggle is real.

Disappointment happens. Things don't go the way we thought they would. Friends stop being friendly. Boyfriends and girlfriends break up. We don't get the solo in the school performance. We don't make the team. Our team loses the game. People move away. Jobs change. Homes change. We wrestle with sickness, financial hardship, unanswered questions and broken dreams.

That earnest fight to fix what is broken, turn back the hands of time, or rewrite history are all a part of the struggle. And while we can't fix what is broken, turn back the hands of time or rewrite history, we can allow the struggle to invade our happy place and give it free access to do its work in our lives. Our struggle, whether big or small, if given permission, will produce in us the faith that will serve us well throughout our lives and be the blessing our souls are longing for.

Powerful life lessons and skills can be developed only through hard things, and the following are a few of my thoughts on that:

1. The struggle makes you strong. You are strong when you struggle seems a little contradictory, but it is true. Some people are born with a natural inner fortitude. For the rest of us, this inner fortitude is developed through struggle, pain and challenges that God allows to fall in our path. The strongest people I know are the ones who have walked through hard things. If you want to be strong, don't resist the struggle.

2. The struggle cultivates empathy. People who have struggled tend to look at others' struggles with much more empathy and grace. If we allow our hurt to heal and not turn us bitter, then we have the opportunity to love hurting people with greater insight, sincerity and compassion. Empathy creates openness. The world is starving for it.  Allow God to cultivate the gift of empathy in you so that you become the conduit of grace that this world so desperately needs.

3. The struggle leads to triumph. You will never know what true victory feels like until you've had to struggle. It's like the story of the butterfly. In order to become the beautiful specimen of nature that God created it to be it first has to struggle to break out of its cocoon. There is no other way to experience this freedom than through pain. We love to see the beauty, but we hate to feel the struggle. Once we break through, and allow the struggle to run its course, we can then experience the joy and reward of the triumph.

4. The struggle writes a better story. We all love stories. The best ones keep us on our toes. Our heroes and heroines fight through battles, overcome obstacles and all kinds of set backs, and we love it. A story without struggle is a story no one wants to read. Don't let your current moment of hard steal your opportunity to grow, learn and write a better story.

5. The struggle leads you to Jesus. Some struggles come and they go. They bear down on our lives for a season of time, but eventually we come out on the other side. Yet some struggles leave us a little bit broken. The night before Jacob met his brother Esau he wrestled with an angel (Genesis 32). During this struggle the angel touched the socket of Jacob's hip leaving him with a limp. This limp that he carried with him until his grave was not to be resented or disdained, but to be a reminder to him that his struggle resulted in God's blessing upon his life. We often see the scars of our struggles as a sort of handicap, that thorn in our flesh that keeps us from success and goodness. But every wound that God allows to pierce our flesh or touch our souls is meant to remind us that he has seen us through. His blessing is his presence and his Spirit holding us and keeping us together. The struggles that leave us a little bit broken are the struggles that lead us into deeper intimacy with Jesus.

We all will walk through struggles as we walk through this life. And I want you to know that it's okay. It's okay to struggle. It's okay to not have it all together. If we just hang in there, keep wrestling, keep holding on, God's blessing will fall upon our lives and our stories will be records of victory and not defeat.

Yes, the struggle is real. But God is real too. And it's okay to struggle.

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." James 1:2-4

the feeble chosen

"And yet, grace can make a few feeble instruments the means of accomplishing great things - things greater even than we can conceive." William Burns

You are called.

Sometimes that calling takes you to a place of brokenness. Sometimes it opens doors that make your heart leap. There is always a cost to following God's call, but there is also great blessing.

We are but "feeble instruments".

And yet we are chosen.

Every courageous step of faith requires courageous sacrifice and obedience.

But it is no sacrifice at all once we get to the other side. On the other side we see that there is no price too high for the blessing of obedience. Because "He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it." (Thessalonians 5:24)

Ultimately, the call of God is a call to obedience. Surrender. It can sometimes be scary, overwhelming, too big and too much.

It can spur on the naysayers, "Are you sure you're called to do this?" "Do you really have what it takes?"

Probably not.

But, if God is saying "GO", then you obey, because yes you are called.

"Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful." Hebrews 10:23

He who promised is faithful. God is faithful...to each promise, to each command, to each word he speaks. God cannot lie. His word is truth. So, when God promises to be faithful, we can stand on that with confidence and grace and assurance.

I love that God chooses the feeble. I am grateful that the call of God is not limited to the fit, the strong, the gifted and the most admirable. That he chooses the most unlikely among us, that he goes to such extremes to find us, and that he seals his call with his promise makes me wonder why I would ever take pause to seize such an invitation.

When you find yourself buckling under the weight of his call, remember he says to you, "I am with you, mighty warrior." (Judges 6). When it feels too big, and you feel too small, remember his promise to be with you, "I will never leave you or forsake you." (Joshua 1).

Remember he is faithful.

The feeble chosen don't cling to their own abilities and accomplishments. The feeble chosen cling to the hope of the one who has called.

"I took you from the ends of the earth, from its farthest corners I called you. I said, 'You are my servant'; I have chosen you and have not rejected you. So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:9-10

this is the only way it could ever be

I get dead set, locked in, singularly focussed on the only way it could ever be, and oftentimes I walk away disappointed. I think I've figured it out. I think I've weighed every option. I think there is no other path that could end as happily as the one I've constructed in my imagination. And so quickly I find out how wrong I was.

My "this is the only way it could ever be" gets trumped by God's "my thoughts are not your thoughts", "my ways are not your ways", and I have to release my "only way" to his greater, higher, and most perfect way.

I'm not a newbie on this faith walk, but I've still got quite a ways to go to understand that the things I tend to set my heart upon are not always the things that keep in rhythm with the heartbeat of God. It's not that I'm chasing after bad things, unhealthy things, unholy or ungodly things. Typically, the dreams I'm chasing are good. But they're not higher. They tend to only scratch the surface of the magnitude of God's dreams. I can't always see that in the short term. I think I've lost something important and significant. It is only when I step back and watch as the narrow, pinhead size view I was looking at suddenly begins to open up to a panoramic masterpiece, that I realize my life is in much greater hands when I surrender to him.

Maybe you can identify with something a journaled some time ago when my heart was longing for a "yes", and God said "no":

"When disappointment and loss enters our lives it doesn't walk in nonchalantly with a, 'That's a bummer,' and walk back out. No. On the contrary, when disappointment and loss show up it usually charges in like a freight train, full speed ahead. Sometimes it takes a while to figure out what hit you. And when the shock of it wears off, we are left to grieve."

"My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from Him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress, I will never be shaken. My salvation and my honor depend on God; He is my Mighty Rock, my refuge. TRUST IN HIM at all times, O people; POUR OUT YOUR HEARTS TO HIM, for God is our refuge."        Psalm 62

When our "this is the only way it could ever be" gets overshadowed by his greater, higher, and most perfect way, may we remember to trust in Him. This present disappointment may feel like the cold steel of a freight train bearing down on you right now, but the beauty of God's most perfect way will one day make every other dream you've ever held in your hand seem but a shadow in comparison.

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven and do not return there but water the earth, making it bring forth and sprout, giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater, so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it. For you shall go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and the hills before you shall break forth into singing, and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands. Instead of the thorn shall come up the cypress; instead of the brier shall come up the myrtle; and it shall make a name for the Lord, an everlasting sign that shall not be cut off." Isaiah 55:8-13

To truly comprehend the beauty of what he has called higher, we must surrender our "this is the only way it could ever be" to him. Whatever disappointment he has allowed to fall from heaven he will most assuredly redeem. He will water and nourish the greater dream, and we too will go out with singing, and understanding, and deep knowing that God's way is the only way it could ever be.

so much joy

Every family needs a Brooklyn - a person who notices, who empathizes, who walks with others hand-in-hand, and puts the world before herself. She is fun and energetic, yet self-controlled and wise beyond her years. She is playful and uninhibited, unhindered by the pulls of social media and the pressure to grow up too fast.

Brooklyn is so much joy.

And she turned 13 yesterday. I'm going to sound a warning signal to all my mom friends yet to hit the teenage milestone: looking at photos that take you through the years of your child's life is a perfect set up for tears. I'm not going to tell you not to do it, but I will tell you to prepare yourself in advance if you do. Kleenex. Lots of Kleenex.

When Brooklyn turned five years old I wrote this post about her. While eight years have passed since that post, Brooklyn's sweetness and generous heart have only grown and matured. I am so grateful to be her mother.

Brooklyn, quiet and patiently you wait on the world. Your heart aims to serve and love and understand. Your unwavering faith in God, at such a young age, will only increase as you continue to lean into Him, ask questions, and celebrate His beauty in the world around you. You are trustworthy and true. A loyal friend and gentle sister. I admire your ability to let the cares of this world roll right off your back as you run directly into all that life has to offer. You, my sweet, sweet girl, are a treasure, and the world is more beautiful because of you.

Brooklyn, you are so much joy!

I love you,

Mom

you are not "just a" anything

When you change that diaper, you are changing the world.

When you are a round-the-clock nurse for three sick little ones, you are changing the world.

When you wake up at 5am to shower and get ready for work so that you can be ready and available to your family as they prepare for school and work, you are changing the world.

When you meet that friend at the coffee shop and listen and encourage and pray for her as she struggles through the darkest season of her life, you are changing the world.

When you stay up late and process all of life's heartaches with your teenager, you are changing the world.

When you finally sit down for that cup of coffee and the baby wakes up, so you go and care for him because he needs you, you are changing the world.

When you wrap that gift for an orphan you may never meet, you are changing the world.

When you write that note to that person that God has placed on your heart, and you're really not sure why, you are changing the world.

In your sweats or in your power suit; whether at home with a gaggle of babies all around you or hopping on a plane for the remotest part of Africa; whether you are mentoring a small group of young women or preaching to thousands...when you do what God has called you to do today, and when you walk in obedience to where he has you today, let me be very clear...you are changing the world. You are not "just a...stay-at-home mom, office manager, Sunday school teacher, nursery volunteer, dog walker, nurse, wife, soccer mom, student...anything".

You are a world changer!

"For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them."

Ephesians 2:10