A hidden blessing of traveling around to raise monthly support is that every now and then you get to go places you wouldn’t normally go. Last week, we were blessed to attend a missions convention in San Diego, CA. We were given a day off, so we went to Coronado Beach. As we walked on the beach, barefoot, in January, we came to the south end of the “Silver Strand” and discovered we had walked right up to Naval Base San Diego, home of Navy SEAL training. This base is the first stop (24 weeks) in a 2- year journey where people willingly volunteer to undergo the toughest conditions in order to become elite warriors- excruciating physical conditioning, being covered in sand continually, and being subjected to “surf torture”. One way to describe the training: “Get comfortable with being uncomfortable.” I thought about what it takes to volunteer for such an experience. At the very least, it takes an ability to embrace discomfort and risk. Unfortunately, that ability is in seemingly short supply. And it’s needed in more ways than one.
Amy and I are big fans of Tim Elmore, president of Growing Leaders, a nonprofit that provides 6000 public schools, universities, civic organizations, and corporations with resources that foster the growth of young leaders. Dr. Elmore provides fascinating, research-based observations on the characteristics, challenges, and needed strategies for raising the new generation of leaders. He recently posted a blog[1]that included this data:
“American parents and schools have removed much of the traditional risks that kids experienced in the past, in the name of safety. The unintended consequence for millions is that our kids have become risk-averse.”
The Coddling of the American Mind, Greg Lukianoff and Jonathan Haidt
When you think about it, it’s so true. There are activities I used to participate in when I was HALF the age of my kids now. My dad sent me and my brother down the street, crossing a busy road and through a wide open field to Baskin Robbins for ice cream when I was 6 years old! Nowadays, I stress over letting my 13-year-old walk down the street to the mailbox for fear she’ll end up on a missing persons list. Don’t judge me; I’m the father of a teenage daughter- it’s my job to worry. That being said, Elmore’s material should cause us all to reflect on the unintended consequences of our choices. I applaud any parent or leader or individual who strives to make informed, deliberate choices for the welfare of their personal/relational/financial/spiritual/emotional well-being. However, can we all pause and reflect on the counterproductive outcomes of our addiction to risk-aversion?
How many of us reached our goals or accomplished any of our dreams by choosing to remain comfortable? How many of us got what we wanted by playing it safe, remaining in old patterns, doing what we always do and settling for the results we’ve always gotten? Yes, I’m sure there are examples. There’s always an exception to the rule. Here I caution us not to allow the exception to somehow become the rule! Normally, we only grow when we risk. Normally, we only achieve when we step out of our comfort zone and discover we are capable of far more than we thought possible.
“Get comfortable with being uncomfortable.”
Perhaps you are already objecting by thinking, “Wait. This isn’t true. I’ve risked before and failed. I stepped out, and I fell flat on my face.” Believe me; I can relate. I’m not a consistent achiever. I hold the blue ribbon for “try and fail”. I’m not a risk-junkie, and I’m well-acquainted with disappointment. However, can we look at what we do attain when we risk, regardless of the outcome? We discover that failure isn’t final; we discover our innate responses and identify where we are strong as well as where we need improvement. We move from what we think of ourselves to what we know of ourselves. We discover the power in a saying we often share in our itineration presentation: Life begins at the END of your comfort zone.
Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.
Our story is one of taking that stomach-churning, head-spinning step out of our comfort zone and into a growth zone where the risks have reaped personal, relational, and experiential rewards. Looking back, we shudder to think of what we could have missed out on if we had simply succumbed to risk-aversion. While I’ll never be a Navy SEAL, I do feel an innate pride at being willing to overcome my risk-aversion and participate in impacting the world. We have met so many missionaries who go to places no one else is going, living amongst people groups that society has overlooked, forgotten, or view as hostile, and reaching them with the love of Jesus.
The story of the Bible is all about stepping out of one’s comfort zone. Abraham left the only home he ever knew in UR of the Chaldeans to obey God’s directive: “Go from your country, your people and your father’s household to the land I will show you.” (Genesis 12:1) Jacob was directed to go home after years in exile because he destroyed family relationships. (Genesis 31:3) Talk about awkward. Moses escaped a death sentence only to be told to return and face the most powerful ruler on the earth and make unconditional demands. (Exodus 3:10) From Genesis to Revelation, the heroes of faith were ones who took a risk and stepped out of their comfort zones. Aren’t we glad they did? They weren’t any different than any of us; what distinguished them was their willingness to embrace risk.
Our whole family is experiencing the struggle between comfort and growth. Our kids are facing the normal awkwardness of moving from children to young adults: more responsibility, more independence, higher expectations, more autonomy, and more consequences for their own actions. Seldom is there a day where we do not witness the tendency in them to try and regress, simply because something is “not comfortable.” However, we do not do them, and we do not do ourselves, any service by succumbing to risk-aversion. Sooner or later, every one of us has to take risks. Our hope is that by seeing their parents being willing to take a risk of stepping out of our comfort zone into full-time missions work, our kids will find that taking risks is worth it.
What about you? Do you see any area of your life that you succumb to risk-aversion in an unhealthy way? Is there a place in your life that you have been unwilling to risk trusting God in? Are you afraid to risk being honest about your issues? Are you afraid to risk asking for help for fear of looking weak? Are you unwilling to risk failure in pursuit of that God-given dream?
What is one way you could push past your version of risk-aversion, take a step of faith, and allow God to prove Himself faithful in?
P.S. If you long to join an elite team of people who are dispatched around the world, going places few are willing to go, and making an eternal impact, you should prayerfully consider missions. You can find out more by going to https://wideopenmissions.org/pipeline