Do you ever notice there are certain songs that don’t just tickle your ear, they stir your soul? Are songs that resonate with where you are in life and seem like they were written specifically for you? Which song affects you like that? For me (Joel) there are two songs that impact me down to my core. The first is Elevation Music’s “Do It Again”[1] and the second is “Take Courage” by Bethel Music.[2] Bethel’s song resonates with me when it comes to the transition our family is undergoing currently and provides a solution for an interesting affliction. In this second of a three-part blog series, I want to look at the overlooked value of the second stage of transition: the neutral zone
By its very nature, the world conditions us for frustration. Recognize that our society is designed for action. We are encouraged to “do something”. There is a whole generation that is driven to do something about anything and everything- poverty, the environment, social justice. And yes, we must act to address those things. But are we the sum total of our actions? What if we don’t know what to do, or, more likely, we are in a transition stage of getting ready to tackle a cause but are not there yet? What happens when you have done everything you know to do and then hit a wall? Are you done? Are you used up?
When it comes to transitions, Americans tend to end something and immediately start something else. You quit a job on Friday; you start a new job on Monday. The Slater Six has discovered this recently. We occasionally startle people in our home town when we run into them. “Are you back from Africa already?” they ask. They assume we left our church position on Sunday afternoon and got on a plane the next day to go to Malawi. It doesn’t work that way. Yes, we left for training but then we needed to start speaking in churches and meeting potential donors in order to raise our monthly budget. It’s a lot to do, but there is a lot of waiting, too. And, it’s actually good. After the first stage of “ending something”, i.e. leaving our pastoral position, William Bridges, author of Transitions: Making Sense of Life’s Changes, points out that there is a second step in the transition process called “the Neutral Zone”:
People go through an in-between time when the old is gone but the new isn’t fully operational. It is when the critical psychological realignments and re-patternings take place. It is the very core of the transition process. This is the time between the old reality and sense of identity and the new one. People are creating new processes and learning what the new roles will be, but it’s in flux and doesn’t feel comfortable yet. It is the seedbed of the new beginnings that are sought.[3]
The Neutral Zone is hard for most of us. We can’t just sit here and wait around (believe me, we don’t). But it feels like it. A voice inside us seems to scream, “Don’t just stand there; do something!” Yet, here lies the lesson we are learning: just like the clutch in a car disengages the engine from the transmission, so our souls need to disengage from one thing before it can engage with another. There is a humbling lesson in learning that God is at work even when we are not. Kristene Dimarco sings,
Slow down, take time
Breath in He said
He'd reveal what's to come
The thoughts in His mind
Always higher than mine
He'll reveal all to come
Did you catch that? Slow down, take time…the thoughts in His mind…always higher than mine... Do we ever suggest to ourselves that the delays, the pauses, the waiting, just might be a gift from God? He may be preparing us, transitioning us, setting us up in the best possible way before we engage our new calling? Some of us just may be straining to start that new project, jump into that new occupation, tackle that new problem, find that new relationship but are frustrated that it hasn’t happened yet. What if you and I embraced the Neutral Zone as a gift rather than an obstacle? I don’t think this is a hypothesis. Even the Bible addresses this peculiar human tendency to ignore or overstep the Neutral Zone. The writer of the book of Hebrews aims to show a group of people, weary of persecution and striving and being tempted to go back to their old, it-all-depends-on-me taking action-ways, a better way. This group of Christians had faced persecution and survived, enjoyed a time of security, but then began to face persecution again. Their endurance had waned, and they were tempted to go return to the old religion based on rituals and works rather than the seemingly passive approach of trusting God wholeheartedly. God’s direction was to find satisfaction in the finished work of Jesus, rather than re-invent the wheel themselves. Perhaps the Neutral Zone could be interpreted as a type of Sabbath rest?
Therefore, since the promise of entering his rest still stands, let us be careful that none of you be found to have fallen short of it.Hebrews 4:1
You and I don’t have to panic about the “neutral zone”. There is plenty of work to be done, and there is plenty of opportunity out there to be busy. We are not called to be lazy, and we are not called to be complacent. However, none of us is omniscient and knows why things happen or don’t happen. Thankfully, God does, and He is faithful. That’s why I love the Elevation song. Just when I think I can’t stand being in “the neutral zone” any longer, I remember the following words:
Walking around these walls
I thought by now they'd fall
But You have never failed me yet
Waiting for change to come
Knowing the battle's won
For You have never failed me yet
Your promise still stands
Great is Your faithfulness, faithfulness
I'm still in Your hands This is my confidence,
You've never failed me yet
What does your “neutral zone” look like? How are you responding to it? Do you resent it? Do you strive to escape it? Is it causing you to doubt the character of God? What if you looked at your “neutral zone” as the gift it is? God hasn’t left you; He hasn’t forsaken you. He’s preparing you for something more. Like the song says, HE IS IN THE WAITING! Don’t waste this precious Neutral Zone of Sabbath rest. Do engage with Jesus more. Do more listening. Do more meditating on His Word. Do more surrendering. Do more releasing. Do more forgiving. Any and all of these things may seem passive and unproductive at first, but they are powerful disciplines that shed emotional and spiritual weight in order to be ready to receive the next assignment. Look back and remember those times when God surprised you with a miracle; He’s God, He hasn’t changed, and He’ll do it again.
[1]Do It Again| Official Lyric Video | Elevation Worship. September 30, 2016. Accessed January 4, 2019. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0B_lnQIITxU.
[2]Take Courage. 2016. Accessed January 4, 2019. https://bethelmusic.com/chords-and-lyrics/take-courage-3/. CCLI# 7074837 written by Kristene DiMarco, Jeremy Riddle, Joel Taylor
[3]Bridges, Susan. "What Is William Bridges' Transition Model?" William Bridges Associates. Accessed January 03, 2019. https://wmbridges.com/what-is-transition/.