purpose

Play the Long Game by Joel D Slater

"We have to reach hard in the direction of the lives we want, even if it’s difficult to do so." Cheryl Strayed

 

What do you do when your plans fall apart? Don’t misinterpret this question.  We are fully committed and progressing towards going to Malawi, southern Africa. This post is about the value of learning life-long lessons in the arena of an unpredictable life. 

Years ago, I felt like God spoke a word of correction to my spirit.  I had worked hard in developing a plan, and I was trying to work the plan.  However, the plan was falling apart.  All the arrangements I had made were collapsing. I had arranged to house 30 students at a church for a week during a missions trip. Three days into the trip, I was told we had to leave because another group had just called and asked to stay at the church. We were being “evicted”.  My budget had not planned to put 30 students plus 8 leaders in motel rooms for four nights. I hadn’t made reservations for blocks of rooms in southern California in the middle of tourist season.  Furthermore, there was a major staffing change at the church we were going to work with, and all the events we were prepared to participate in were cancelled, scaled down, or had been only partially planned.  All the items on the planned itinerary were being scratched off.  What was the point of planning if it was all going up in smoke? That’s when I felt the Lord speak: “Go ahead and make a plan, but hold it loosely in your hand.”  I don’t say this lightly.  There is no way in the world that I came up with such a thought.

This advice is one of my primary axioms of life.  It’s a principle that allows me to chase short-term goals but have long-term perspective.  I wonder what was going on in King Solomon’s life when he wrote,

 

“Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.” 

Proverbs 19:21

 

Solomon is famous for “making it happen”.  He built the Temple in Jerusalem. He built beautiful palaces, gardens, fortifications, and a portfolio of other projects.  He had a vision!  But what happens when the vision hits a speedbump?  What happens when the ideal meets the real?  What happens when you reach the peak but have to head down into the next valley? The wisest man who ever lived was wise enough to take this perspective:  Play the long-game.  

Make the plan, but hold it loosely in your hand.  If whatever you are working on is taken away, take a deep breath and recognize something else will be put in your hand.  I realize that when I hold on to something too tightly, I am exhibiting an arrogant sense of control and ownership.  The truth is: I don’t own anything.  There is no guarantee that I’ll ever own anything forever.  All I can do is take care of it, steward it, for the time being. That goes for my own life.  I don’t own my life.  It’s not mine.  I belong to God.  Therefore, all I can do is manage this life well for God. Our experience stepping into full-time missions has underscored this lesson multiple times already.  Even when all our strategies, plans, methods, and efforts don’t seem to work in the moment, God shows up and demonstrates that His purposes are prevailing.   

Photo by Jamie Street on Unsplash

Confession: I didn’t embrace the lesson of the long-game on that missions trip. I behaved awfully on that trip- angry, irritable, impatient.  Honestly, I came home defeated.  It didn’t turn out like anything I had planned. I didn’t see the worth of planning anything, anymore. But, eventually, I learned a lot.  I learned not to do everything myself.  I learned to ask for help.  I learned to unleash other people who could do things better than me.  I learned to go ahead and plan, but when things went sideways, I’d hold it loosely in my hand.  The next year’s missions trip was completely different.  Things still went sideways: chaos with transportation, drama in relationships, potentially having to leave a middle-schooler at the Mexican border because he had misplaced his passport.  Don’t worry; we got him through.    The difference wasn’t that my plans worked better. I laughed more.  I enjoyed watching leaders lead.  I rolled with the punches, and we got a lot more done. Short-term problems didn’t prevent long-term progress.  

 

Failed plans should not be interpreted as a failed vision. Visions don't change, they are only refined. Plans rarely stay the same, and are scrapped or adjusted as needed. Be stubborn about the vision, but flexible with your plan. John Maxwell

 

Right now, I’m sitting at my computer, looking at my calendar and my initial plans.  I’ve hit a wall.  It’s nothing that any experienced missionary hasn’t faced countless times; however, it’s new to us. It’s then I remember what happened a few months ago.  I was sitting in a similar spot, feeling that similar “stuck” feeling.  My January calendar was looking VERY empty. Not good.  Suddenly, I got a response from an email I sent a month prior.  The answer perfectly met my need.  I had forgotten I’d even sent that email.  I’m glad God was thinking further out ahead than I was.  

Bottom line:  What do you do when you don’t know what to do?  Play the long-game.  What do you do when you’ve done everything you know to do?  Play the long-game.That goal you are struggling to reach?  That relationship that isn’t working?  That dream that seems to have died?  Realize that God is out in front, working in the background, using anything and everything to accomplish His purposes. God is playing the long-game.  Who knew that a short-term missions trip 15 years ago would teach me a lesson I’m now embracing as a life axiom for a life-long missions commitment?  See, I had many plans in my heart, but the Lord’s purpose prevailed.  

How can you apply this idea of the long-game to your life?  What purpose may God have for using your seemingly failed plans?  

Waiting in Neutral by Joel D Slater

Do you ever notice there are certain songs that don’t just tickle your ear, they stir your soul?  Are songs that resonate with where you are in life and seem like they were written specifically for you?  Which song affects you like that?  For me (Joel) there are two songs that impact me down to my core.  The first is Elevation Music’s “Do It Again[1] and the second is “Take Courage” by Bethel Music.[2]  Bethel’s song resonates with me when it comes to the transition our family is undergoing currently and provides a solution for an interesting affliction. In this second of a three-part blog series, I want to look at the overlooked value of the second stage of transition: the neutral zone

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 By its very nature, the world conditions us for frustration. Recognize that our society is designed for action.  We are encouraged to “do something”.  There is a whole generation that is driven to do something about anything and everything- poverty, the environment, social justice. And yes, we must act to address those things. But are we the sum total of our actions? What if we don’t know what to do, or, more likely, we are in a transition stage of getting ready to tackle a cause but are not there yet?  What happens when you have done everything you know to do and then hit a wall?  Are you done?  Are you used up?  

When it comes to transitions, Americans tend to end something and immediately start something else.  You quit a job on Friday; you start a new job on Monday.  The Slater Six has discovered this recently. We occasionally startle people in our home town when we run into them.  “Are you back from Africa already?” they ask.  They assume we left our church position on Sunday afternoon and got on a plane the next day to go to Malawi.  It doesn’t work that way.  Yes, we left for training but  then we needed to start speaking in churches and meeting potential donors in order to raise our monthly budget. It’s a lot to do, but there is a lot of waiting, too. And, it’s actually good.  After the first stage of “ending something”, i.e. leaving our pastoral position, William Bridges, author of Transitions: Making Sense of Life’s Changes, points out that there is a second step in the transition process called “the Neutral Zone”:  

People go through an in-between time when the old is gone but the new isn’t fully operational. It is when the critical psychological realignments and re-patternings take place. It is the very core of the transition process. This is the time between the old reality and sense of identity and the new one. People are creating new processes and learning what the new roles will be, but it’s in flux and doesn’t feel comfortable yet. It is the seedbed of the new beginnings that are sought.[3]

The Neutral Zone is hard for most of us. We can’t just sit here and wait around (believe me, we don’t).  But it feels like it.  A voice inside us seems to scream, “Don’t just stand there; do something!” Yet, here lies the lesson we are learning: just like the clutch in a car disengages the engine from the transmission, so our souls need to disengage from one thing before it can engage with another.  There is a humbling lesson in learning that God is at work even when we are not.  Kristene Dimarco sings, 

Slow down, take time
Breath in He said
He'd reveal what's to come
The thoughts in His mind
Always higher than mine
He'll reveal all to come

Did you catch that?  Slow down, take timethe thoughts in His mindalways higher than mine...  Do we ever suggest to ourselves that the delays, the pauses, the waiting, just might be a gift from God?  He may be preparing us, transitioning us, setting us up in the best possible way before we engage our new calling?  Some of us just may be straining to start that new project, jump into that new occupation, tackle that new problem, find that new relationship but are frustrated that it hasn’t happened yet.  What if you and I embraced the Neutral Zone as a gift rather than an obstacle? I don’t think this is a hypothesis.  Even the Bible addresses this peculiar human tendency to ignore or overstep the Neutral Zone. The writer of the book of Hebrews aims to show a group of people, weary of persecution and striving and being tempted to go back to their old, it-all-depends-on-me taking action-ways, a better way.  This group of Christians had faced persecution and survived, enjoyed a time of security, but then began to face persecution again. Their endurance had waned, and they were tempted to go return to the old religion based on rituals and works rather than the seemingly passive approach of trusting God wholeheartedly.  God’s direction was to find satisfaction in the finished work of Jesus, rather than re-invent the wheel themselves.  Perhaps the Neutral Zone could be interpreted as a type of Sabbath rest?

Therefore, since the promise of entering his rest still stands, let us be careful that none of you be found to have fallen short of it.Hebrews 4:1

You and I don’t have to panic about the “neutral zone”. There is plenty of work to be done, and there is plenty of opportunity out there to be busy.  We are not called to be lazy, and we are not called to be complacent.  However, none of us is omniscient and knows why things happen or don’t happen. Thankfully, God does, and He is faithful.  That’s why I love the Elevation song.  Just when I think I can’t stand being in “the neutral zone” any longer, I remember the following words:  

Walking around these walls

I thought by now they'd fall

But You have never failed me yet

Waiting for change to come

Knowing the battle's won

For You have never failed me yet 

Your promise still stands

Great is Your faithfulness, faithfulness

I'm still in Your hands This is my confidence,

You've never failed me yet

What does your “neutral zone” look like?  How are you responding to it?  Do you resent it?  Do you strive to escape it?  Is it causing you to doubt the character of God?  What if you looked at your “neutral zone” as the gift it is?  God hasn’t left you; He hasn’t forsaken you.  He’s preparing you for something more.  Like the song says, HE IS IN THE WAITING!  Don’t waste this precious Neutral Zone of Sabbath rest.  Do engage with Jesus more.  Do more listening. Do more meditating on His Word. Do more surrendering.  Do more releasing.  Do more forgiving.  Any and all of these things may seem passive and unproductive at first, but they are powerful disciplines that shed emotional and spiritual weight in order to be ready to receive the next assignment.  Look back and remember those times when God surprised you with a miracle; He’s God, He hasn’t changed, and He’ll do it again.  



[1]Do It Again| Official Lyric Video | Elevation Worship. September 30, 2016. Accessed January 4, 2019. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0B_lnQIITxU.

[2]Take Courage. 2016. Accessed January 4, 2019. https://bethelmusic.com/chords-and-lyrics/take-courage-3/. CCLI# 7074837 written by Kristene DiMarco, Jeremy Riddle, Joel Taylor

[3]Bridges, Susan. "What Is William Bridges' Transition Model?" William Bridges Associates. Accessed January 03, 2019. https://wmbridges.com/what-is-transition/.

“New Beginnings Start with Ending Old Doings” by Joel D Slater

The New Year is notorious for setting new goals and “resolutions”. We all know and smile when we either hear others or hear ourselves make resolutions, probably because we harbor doubts that any of us will follow through with them for any significant length of time.  That’s not going to the case with the Slater Six. We “resolved” to leave the familiar comforts of American life and move the nation of Malawi by August, 2019. With the New Year arriving, we have just passed the 6-month marker in our itineration process.  This first six months have been full of adventures, events, and new locations.  We have gone to places in Oregon, Washington, South Dakota, and North Carolina that we would never have imagined we’d go.  We have met people from all over the country and the world who have become fast friends.  We have let go of security and seen God provide support in ways only He could make happen. This is much more than a change of occupation, a change of pace, a change of scenery.  This has been a transition

            William Bridges wrote a book called Transitions: Making Sense of Life’s Changes that has been our roadmap. None of this would be possible without the first requirement of a transition- the endingof something.  We have learned that changeis an event- you do it and get through it.  But, as Bridges so insightfully observes,transitionis psychological.[1]  According to his website

This first phase of transition begins when people identify what they are losing and learn how to manage these losses. They determine what is over and being left behind, and what they will keep. These may include relationships, processes, team members or locations.[2]

The kids feel it: every Christmas tradition we observed was marked with the observation that “this is our last (insert event here) in America.”  Amy felt it every time she either decorated the living room or when we attended her birthday treat, The Nutcracker ballet.  I feel it by simply driving around Portland where I was born, raised, and have lived the vast majority of my life.  BUT…in order to start new things, one must end doing the old things. And..it’s HARD.  That word may seem easy to interpret, but it’s not.  No one can tell you what it means.  We sat in class after class during our summer missionary training and heard variations of “this is going to be hard” or “that transition is going to be hard”.  I honestly sat there, agreed with every word, and only realized later what the phrase “this is going to be hard” really meant.  It’s a form of death.  It’s an ending.  There is a form of grief involved.  But it has to be done.  

In order for any of us to fulfill our full potential, it must begin with an ending.  We must give up things that we are so comfortable with that we think it defines us.  Does it? Does that possession, that position, that prize, or that person really define you? What if God was so good, so generous, so faithful, that anything He’s asking you or I to give up, to end, will be replaced with something that, if you knew what it was, you would struggle with thinking it’s too good to be true?  We believe that is what God is promising.  Anything we are asked to end, God is willing to exchange for something better.  That doesn’t mean a direct exchange.  Not a house for a house.  A job for a job.  It may simply mean exchanging security for significance.  It may mean assurance for adventure.  The apostle Paul tried to help a group of people realize that beginning a relationship with Jesus and following Jesus required ending a way of doing life in exchange for beginning to live the fullest life in Jesus.  

Not that I have already attained,[c] or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me. 13 Brethren, I do not count myself to have [d]apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, 14 I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.   Philippians 3:12-14 

As you transition from an old habit to forming a new one, as you transition from a job, a home, a relationship, recognize that the transition requires ending something as much as starting something new.  Recognize that it’ll hurt but the old axiom is true: “no pain, no gain”.  

“Sometimes God brings times of transition to create transformation.” Lynn Cowell

*We invite you to take a step of transitioning from fearful to faith-filled, from inwardly focused to outwardly focused, by supporting us monthly through prayer and financial support.  TAKE ACTION!

[1] Bridges, William. Transitions: Making Sense of Life’s Changes. Cambridge, MA: Da Capo Press, 2009.

[2] Bridges, Susan. "What Is William Bridges' Transition Model?" William Bridges Associates. Accessed January 03, 2019. https://wmbridges.com/what-is-transition/.