Welcome to my world...lives have changed & so has the living room

We've lived in our charming little townhome for six years now.  When we moved in, Sydney was barely two years old, and I was still wearing Brooklyn in a baby sling.  The "plan" was to buy something small and affordable, sell in 2-3 years, buy something bigger with a yard and extra bedroom, add baby #3 and live happily ever after.  Then the housing market fell apart, and baby #3 decided to join our family two years earlier than expected.  Six years later we find ourselves "stuck" in our starter home.

C'est la vie.

As I mentioned last week, I had to accept the way things are.  Joel and I had to let go of our "plan".  We had to, or else we would be miserable right now.  And really, there are worse things than being stuck in a small home.  For instance: losing a home, losing a loved one, or losing a job.  I count my blessings that all we lost was our plan.  Sometimes I feel like I just might be losing my mind, but then reality gives me a good smack on the head when my kids say how thankful they are...for our home.

The downstairs "great room" - consisting of the living room, dining room, and kitchen - is where we do most of our living.  It has evolved quite a bit over the past six years, going from Kiwi Green walls to an updated Gray Morning along with one or two new throw pillows.  We recently transitioned from our kiddie table to bar stools which was a big moment for me.  I'm still a huge fan of my kids' artwork plastered all over my fridge, and I'm not willing to let that one go just yet.

A few things that have helped maximize our living space are:

• Quickly discard anything outgrown or no longer useful (Goodwill practically knows me by name).  For a brief season our house was stuffed with baby items (they take up such a huge amount of space).  If you are in that boat, trust me when I say, this season will pass more quickly than you can bat an eye. Embrace it.  Cherish it.  Enjoy it.  When it's gone you may have more space, but you won't have this time again.
• No coffee table.  I make the most out of our end tables.  Removing the coffee table gives us more floor space and creates an illusion that the room is bigger than it actually is.
• De-clutter on a regular basis.  Clutter happens.  It's a fact of life, but it doesn't have to take over your house.  If you can stay on top of the clutter you'll feel less and less like the walls are closing in on you.
• Fill drab spaces with things you love.  I'm very sentimental, and I have dozens of family heirlooms and keepsakes from various travels that I use to decorate.  It doesn't necessarily create more space, but it will make you feel good.
• Make it all about you.  I don't mean this in an egotistical, self-centered type way.  What I mean is, don't worry about what other people think.  Make your home look and feel the way you want it to.  This may take time.  That's okay.  Tweaking is one of my favorite hobbies, and the longer I live here, the more this house looks like me.

Thanks for coming over.  I hope you've enjoyed.  Next week, we'll take a look upstairs and talk sleeping arrangements.

Welcome to my world...

I've decided to take a brief break from some of my "deeper" posts to share with you a glimpse into my little world.  Julia, over at Hooked on Houses, posted a story about a family that downsized from their 2500 square foot home to a 320 square foot home.  It was intriguing, to say the least.  And it certainly put some of my "little house" issues into perspective which in turn inspired me to give others a peek into my own small space living.  No.  We don't live in 320 square feet, nor do we plan to scale down from where we are.  (Heavens, no!)  Compared to this family our house looks like a mansion.  But squeeze a growing, busy family of five into a two-bedroom townhome, and things get interesting.

I used to say all kinds of evil things about the economy and the downturn of the housing market.  But I discovered, after much wailing and gnashing of teeth, that sometimes my plans, my wants, have to adjust.  No good comes from whining, and growth can't always be measured by the amount of wealth we gain, but by how well we manage what God has given us right now.  Instead of cursing the economy I have found a reason to say thank you.  I've learned a great deal about myself and my family by living in a small house.  I have learned how to be creative - turning every square inch into usable living space.  I have learned that extra stuff is just stuff, and I don't need it.  I have learned how to use color to bring a room alive, and how to comfortably fit three kiddos into one bedroom.  I've learned the art of making the most of family dinner time, and how to make sure everyone has a "special" space of their own.  It's been a challenge, but one I've grown to enjoy.

And so, I want to welcome you to my world.  I want to open up my home and share with you, over the next few weeks, the real stuff that my life is made of.  I hope you'll enjoy.

Either Jesus Was In A Bad Mood Or He Had A Serious Fig Craving

(Once upon a time...) "Early in the morning, as he (Jesus) was on his way back to the city, he was hungry.  Seeing a fig tree by the road, he went up to it but found nothing on it except leaves.  Then he said to it, 'May you never bear fruit again!'  Immediately the tree withered." (Matthew 21:18 & 19)

This same story is relayed in Mark 11:12-14:

"The next day as they were leaving Bethany, Jesus was hungry.  Seeing in the distance a fig tree in leaf, he went to find out if it had any fruit.  When he reached it, he found nothing but leaves, because it was not the season for figs.  Then he said to the tree, 'May no one ever eat fruit from you again.'"

My initial thought is, "Wow.  Was Jesus in a bad mood, or what?"  Cursing fig trees.  That's kind of how I get when I haven't had enough sleep.  I just want to curse my fridge for not having anything edible in it, and I want to throw every toy in my path into the garbage.  However, Jesus' words and actions are always intentional.  The Jewish New Testament Commentary calls this "making a point by means of a prophetic drama, an acted-out parable."  Look at the story in Mark again.  It was not the season for figs.  Surely Jesus already knew that.  This is the same Jesus who saw Nathaniel, in John 1:43-51, sitting under a fig tree before they even met.  And it's not like hunger was something that could undo Jesus either.  Remember when he was tempted by the devil after fasting for 40 days and 40 nights (Matthew 4:1-4)?  This was no fig craving Jesus was having.

So why was he cursing a poor, defenseless plant?  Jesus was acting out a parable in front of his disciples to make a very serious point:  bear fruit.  A fig tree in leaf holds the promise that fruit is coming.  "We know that Yeshua expects God's people to put forth the fruit of righteousness, and that unproductive branches will be thrown in the fire.  Thus the drying-up of the fig tree is an acted-out warning."  Living fruitful lives is that important to Jesus.  He wasn't in a bad mood.  He didn't have a craving for figs.  Jesus took an ordinary fig tree and lovingly turned it into a teachable moment for his disciples, and us who follow him.

"Yeshua here is teaching his followers what it means to serve their master, God: it means simply to have the kind of trust that comes from God (vs. 22), and that they will wither away if they don't.  Yeshua neither acts from pique nor performs arbitrary miracles like a magician; every one of his supernatural acts has spiritual significance." - David H. Stern

The warning: bear fruit or wither away.  Jesus has some pretty high expectations of us.  It's not enough to have pretty leaves hanging from our branches.  We must produce fruit; otherwise, we are useless.  And the type of fruit we are called to produce can only come from trusting in God and walking with him every day.  We can't force the fruit to grow, just as a fig tree can't produce figs on demand.  It takes watering from the Word, and constant contact with our Lord.  And all things are possible for those who believe.  "If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer (vs.22)."  To live this kind of  life all we have to do is ask God and believe, and he will work the soil, plant the seeds, and water to a fruitful harvest.  That's a promise.

Maybe Jesus really did have a fig craving, but not the physical kind.  Maybe he has a craving to see more fruit in our lives.  And this he takes very seriously.

I Never Promised You A Rose Garden

John 16:33 "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace.  In this world you will have trouble.  But take heart!  I have overcome the world." I like happy stories.  My favorite part of a movie is usually the opening scene showing a happy family going about their business, innocent and peaceful.  Stress builds in the pit of my stomach when the plot begins to unfold and the happy family is suddenly shaken by monsters or tidal waves or earthquakes and the like.  I want to go back to the beginning where everyone is happy.  I just don't like trouble.

And Jesus' last words to his disciples in John 16 is a guarantee that trouble is brewing.  Trouble is a promise.  Life isn't going to be easy and smooth.  It is going to be hard, especially for those who believe in Jesus.  The happy picture isn't going to be the whole story.  There will be monsters and tidal waves and earthquakes.  There will be broken relationships, hurt feelings, financial difficulties, and challenges raising children.  The minute we say "yes" to Jesus doesn't suddenly make us immune to the pain of this world.  It's like Jesus is trying to tell us here, "I beg your pardon.  I never promised you a rose garden."

The Jewish New Testament Commentary says this: "The life of a believer in the Messiah is not the proverbial rose garden, except, perhaps, for the thorns.  Nevertheless, Yeshua encourages us: Be brave!  I have conquered the world!"

So, life is hard.  And a life devoted to Jesus is even harder.  That's not very happy news.  However, while Jesus doesn't promise us a rose garden life, he does promise us that, while there will be thorns that prick us and cause deep pain, we can take heart.  Jesus has already conquered the thorns.  He has already won the victory over the monsters and the tidal waves and the earthquakes and the like.  We can be brave.

Jesus holds the salve for every thorn that pricks our skin.  And while we may not see the happy ending just yet, it is coming.  The same God that has overcome the world has overcome our problems.  He gives us peace and assurance of his faithfulness.  And that is the promise we can hold on to...till the very end.

The Things We Hold On To

I successfully delivered three truck loads of old baby clothes, furniture, books, toys and various kinds of paraphernalia to Goodwill today.  With the help of my parents, I confidently tackled the most ominous space in our house: the garage.  For six years it has taunted me, and I've been too wimpy to face the junk.  Today I conquered my fears and took my overstuffed garage by the horns.  It's been a long day, and as we sit in the living room, nursing sore muscles and still sneezing from the dust, dirt and cobwebs, I keep thinking about all the meaningless, weighty stuff that we held on to for so many years, and wondering why it took me this long to lighten the load. Going through boxes, plastic tubs and footlockers - that I'm sure were purchased way back in the 80's - I was struck by the wide variety of things we have held on to: papers, old coats that went out of style 15 years ago, toys our children have outgrown.  There was even one unidentifiable object that has seen us through three different moves.  What a crazy thing to hold on to!  It was time to let it go (whatever it was).

Just as I have a tendency to hold on to material junk - you could call me a tidy hoarder - I know I am capable of holding on to other kinds of junk too: anger, hurt from the past, resentment, a grudge.  Eventually someone wise speaks into my life and says, "Isn't it time to clean out your garage?"  And as painful and overwhelming as it seems in the moment, once I get started the better I feel.  The weight of the burden, the unidentifiable objects I've been carrying around for years, begin to lift, and life looks good again.

It is surprising to me the things we hold on to.  And most of those things we don't need.  What about you?  Is it time to clean out your garage too?

Trust In Real Life

Problems.  They either get your heart pumping with adrenaline or bring weighty worry. One thing that I am slow in learning, but growing in just the same, is trusting in the Lord no matter what my outside circumstances - or pending deadlines - look like.  God is always in control, and He has never let me down.  When real life happens, and it does quite frequently at my house, my go-to reaction oftentimes is fear and worry.  Immediately I wonder how we will pay for this, or how this interpersonal relationship will be restored, or how I'm going to break it to my kids that we are having Tortilla Casserole for dinner (their moans can be heard all over Portland).  I confess, I don't always run to Jesus and His promises.  This is real life, and this is where rubber meets the road and we either act on what we say we believe or we let worry and fear monopolize our lives and drive us to despair.

We get to choose.  Trust in the Lord or freak out.

More and more I'm choosing trust.  Because there is no return for worry.  But there's always a great blessing in trust.  God takes care of the real life stuff.  He provides.  He heals and restores.  And he gives grace to moms who have run out of creative dinner choices.  Trust brings hope and peace.  Worry brings fine lines and wrinkles.  I can't afford Botox, so I think trust is a better way for me to go.

And here's what Jesus says, His promise to us:

Matthew 6:25-34

"Therefore, I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear.  Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?  Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them.  Are you not much more valuable than they?  Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?  And why do you worry about clothes?  See how the lilies of the field grow.  They do not labor or spin.  Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.  If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?  So do not worry saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we wear?'  For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.  But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.  Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own."

Trust in real life means God is in control of the practical things too, and freaking out is a waste of time and energy.  And Lord knows, I need all the energy I can get.

It's Been A Good One...

I could hear the squeals and giggles traveling down the hallway this morning.  The kids were awake on their first day of Christmas break.  Joel offered to get up and take care of breakfast.  I started thinking about making the coffee.  Then, before we jumped up to start the day, we remembered that my parents were downstairs ready to attend to the needs of our children.  Relieved, we rolled over and drifted back to sleep.

As I lay there, eyes closed, I began to reflect on the past year.  My thoughts lingered upon, and recounted,  all the blessings God has poured out on my family.  As the list grew, tears filled my eyes and spilled down my cheeks.  Overwhelmed by his graciousness, his faithfulness, and his mercy, I whispered a faint "Thank you" to the One who has made all things complete.  To the One who heard my spoken and unspoken prayers and pleas - to the One who heard the heart behind my words - and turned his ear to me.

One year ago I struggled to find joy in the season.  I found peace and contentment in the One to whom the season belongs, but there was nothing extraordinary that marked the passing year.  Thankful for God's faithfulness, I wrapped up the year realizing that God was good even without a lot of fan-fair and magic.  Looking ahead to 2010, I honestly had no big expectations.  I never dreamed that so much could change in one year.

One year ago, I was simply grateful for the mercy and grace God extended to me.  A year later, I continue to be grateful for God's mercy and grace.  This year, however, I have seen that God not only gives us joy in difficulties, or hope in dire circumstances, but he also seasons our lives with moments of unbridled happiness.

Happiness oftentimes gets a bad wrap because it is contingent upon our circumstances.  We are taught that the joy of the Lord is of greater value than fleeting moments of happiness.  Yet, this year has revealed to me something quite contrary.  God allows us to feel happy...genuinely happy...because he is that kind of loving Father.  He allows us to go through hard times, difficult seasons, and painful experiences, so that the depth of our faith is substantial and sound, and our joy is complete in God and God alone.  However, he doesn't forget that a dose of happiness every now and then is as equally satisfying and fulfilling as a joyful disposition.  When my kids wake up on Christmas morning, eyes bulging from the pile of gifts and treasures under our tree, I take great delight in their uninhibited happiness.  God is the same way.  When happy moments come, and we enjoy them fully, I believe he, too, sits back and smiles with delight.

This year, I am feeling overwhelmed with not only the peace that passes understanding that God has poured into my heart, but I am bursting at the seams with sheer happiness.  God has not only satisfied my needs this year, but he has also satisfied the desires of my heart.  Today I am reflecting upon and enjoying these happy moments.

One year.  One God.  One moment to say thank you to the One from whom ALL blessings flow.

Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow...Miraculous!

A friend of mine has been going through a difficult season.  It seemed that when things couldn't quite possibly get worse, well...they did.  Two days ago God did a miracle in her life.  He not only answered a prayer that would effect her present circumstances, but he took care of past issues that were holding her captive and even went so far as to insure the future need was already met.  He answered my friend's prayer completely.  He met her need from yesterday, supplied for today, and gave her hope for the future.  That is miraculous.  That, to me, is God doing what God does best.  My friend will have plenty to share around her Thanksgiving table this year. I was concerned my last post might have been a bit too extreme.  Then, my dear friend shared her miracle with me and I thought to myself, "That's what I'm talking about!"  That's it!  Now, to be sure, my friend has been going through a long desert season.  This answer didn't come without months of tears shed, laying her heart and soul at the feet of Christ.  How, when, and why God moves and works in our circumstances is not for us to know, or even understand. God is a mystery, and many times what he wills and allows does not make sense to us.  But I am encouraged that, even if it takes my entire life, God will complete the work he began.  The prayers offered with a sincere heart do not fall on deaf ears.  He knows.  He cares.  And he is working in unseen realms to finish what he started.  He takes care of yesterday, today, and tomorrow.  He is a miraculous God.

I love Thanksgiving.  I love hearing about what God is doing in the lives of others.  I am encouraged in my faith when I hear others boast about what the Lord has done for them.  On that note, it is your turn to share what God has done for you.  What are you thankful for today?  What are you believing God to complete in your life?  Share as much, or little, as you would like!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Everything I Need

Sometimes I want something new.  Sometimes I want lots of new somethings.  Sometimes I don't even know why, there is no real necessity, but I just gotta have new stuff. I'm not going to project my weaknesses onto all of you, so I'll just assume that this is something that I alone struggle with.  (Although, something tells me that there are others who have to battle out the urge to splurge too.)

This weekend I received an e-mail from one of my favorite shopping boutiques.  Forty percent off of already marked down sale items...this weekend only.  Something leaped within me.  I need.  I want.  I must have...  These thoughts continued to monopolize my mind all through Friday.  And then again on Saturday.  I started scheming and planning out my attack on Ann Taylor Loft.  When could I steal away a few hours to shop till I dropped?  How could I finagle the finances to satisfy the consumer craving of my soul?  It seemed the only day that would remotely work out in my favor (and I would have to really squeeze it into our already over-stuffed schedule) was Sunday.  Late Sunday.  With a twinge of conviction tugging deep, deep down in my soul, I set my sights on a Sunday afternoon shopping spree.

Then, because I have to believe the Holy Spirit - who is forever looking out for my very best and could see I wasn't acknowledging His subtle nudgings - decided to speak up a little louder.  In my quiet time Sunday morning I read Psalm 23.

The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want.

The first verse stopped me in my tracks.  I shall not want.

The Message translation says this: God, my Shepherd!  I don't need a thing.

Gentle, but clear, I was reminded of the abundance I have received from the Lord.  Yes, I have everything I need.  Whatever void I was feeling - emotional, spiritual or simply materialistic lust - would never be filled will a new blouse, a new sweater or a new pair of jeans.  That void, that urge to splurge, was a soul calling out for God to come and satisfy in a way that only he can.

Without shame or condemnation I turned the direction of my focus on the Shepherd, the One, who has given me everything that I need, everything that a girl could possibly want (and then some), and poured out a heart of thanksgiving and gratitude.  Rather than catch the final hours of the sale, I found rest in the peace and contentment of God's constant and complete provision.

He is everything I need, even when forty percent off is desperately calling my name.

Mr. Amy

First, I just want to commend and acknowledge the working moms out there.  I have always had the utmost respect for you and all that you do, but now that I am working (part time, mind you), that respect has doubled...no...tripled!  How you do it all, I don't know.  You are the true super heros, in my opinion. As we are working on getting into a nice groove with our new schedule, I'm afraid my poor blog has received the short end of the stick.  It pains me.  Truly, it does.  As I lay my head on my pillow each night recounting all the activities of the day, the one thing that looms overhead is how negligent I've been with this blog.  I'm still working on finding balance.

While I don't have the brain cells to articulate what God's been doing in my heart and mind over the past week, I thought I'd jot down a few of the highlights:

• Allergies to cockroaches are nothing to laugh about.
• Sometimes empathy is all you can give.
• There is no sitting down on the job when you work at a preschool - there is no time to sit down.
• My son calls me "Teacher Mommy".
• I have surprised myself at how much I can actually do in a 24 hour period.
• God's grace truly is sufficient, and his power is made perfect in my weakness.
• Waking up before the rest of the world to be in the Word and pray, as difficult as it is some days, pays off when someone asks for prayer, and there is a pool of spiritual strength to draw from.
• God isn't expecting perfection, just willingness to try.
• I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
• And finally, I have grown quite fond of being called "Mr. Amy" by the little three-year-old boy in my Friday class.  It comes out more as a "Mith-ter Amy", and my heart melts.

The lunches have been packed and prepared for the rest of the week, book bags are sitting by the door, clothes set out, and the coffee pot ready to brew at 5:15 am.  Mr. Amy will be getting back to work in the morning, ready to take on a new week.

September

September is one of those crazy, transitional months that I look forward to all through August and then panic and stress out when "the first" finally arrives.  I can't wait to get back into the swing of routine, shuffling kids out the door for school, and the pre-mature glimpses of the approaching fall season.  At the same time, I worry that I'll forget something (like someone's school supplies or my mind, perhaps), spend half my day running late for the next thing, get to work with that unprepared feeling, and never get enough sleep.  It's the little unforseen bugs in the system that keep me up at night.  Usually, by October, we've worked out all the kinks, but until then, I'm barely hanging on by a thread. Needless to say, amidst all the transition and figuring out of schedules, new routines and such, I have discovered a trick for survival.  I have found something that warms my every fiber from the inside out, calms my frantic nerves, and comforts me when I wake up at 4:30 am trying to plan out my day.  September calls for a heaping dose of Psalms and Starbucks.

Psalms speaks to my soul, reminds me of God's faithfulness, his provision for all of our needs (no matter how big or small), and his unfailing love in spite of my failure to live up to my own expectations.  Starbucks makes me smile with their soy caramel machiattos and pumpkin spice lattes.  They remind me of how glorious fall can be with the changing colors, cool, crisp mornings, my favorite sweaters, and Notre Dame football.

September will not overwhelm me.  I will soar above the chaos with Psalms and Starbucks.  They will see me through all this transition, and October will roll right in like an enormous pumpkin on my doorstep.

This is September.  This is how I survive.

What about you?

It's Going To Get Interesting...

Oh. My. Lord.   

My life seems to have made a hard left-hand turn.  And let me just say this before I go on...this turn of events is an answer to many, many prayers (spoken and unspoken).

I'm going back to work, people!  I haven't worked outside the home since I was pregnant with Sydney.  We're talking over seven years of being a stay-at-home mom.  Seven of the most rewarding years of my life, I might add.  My little man, Jackson, starts preschool next week, and Brooklyn enters kindergarten.  And God opened the door for me to work at their school. 

For several years I've put feelers out for a job...a means to help our family financially.  For several years every door I've knocked on has either closed or no one has even answered.  Until this year.  I didn't even touch the door, and the next thing I knew...I was offered a job...more than I expected.  If you were to pinch me, I'd swear I must be dreaming.  But I'm not.

Things are about to get interesting.  I am actually writing this post from the center of household chaos while dealing with multiple interruptions from three bored little ones.  (I'm going to try and make it a short one.)  

As I've been getting ready for the start up of school, preparing myself to go back to work and finishing up end of summer activities, my "to do" list continues to grow and grow and grow.  The perfectionist in me is stressing because of the driven nature to make sure everything is...well...perfect.  And I'm trying to keep all the balls in the air - this blog included - and I'm starting to worry that something is going to fall short of my high expectations, and I'm realizing that there is a deep cry within me for one thing. 

Balance.

In order to attain balance, I am going to have to restructure.  The first thing I am placing on the back burner is this blog.  I am not quitting...oh heavens no.  However, I will be cutting back on the number of posts produced.  If I have nothing to write, then I'm not going to write.  If I have no time to write, then I'm not going to write.  I am going to focus on quality...not quantity.  As of yet, I'm not sure what this is going to look like, or if I will eventually come up with a schedule of sorts.  However, the blog will have to get used to its new place in the priorities of my life.

My home is all a'bustle with excitement.  Rather than look at Brooklyn starting kindergarten as something to mourn, or the fact that my little guy is going to be in preschool, I have begun to celebrate this brand new season in our lives.  I'll be honest with you, change is not an easy thing for me.  But what I've learned in my very short life is that change can be my friend.  I am taking my kids on a journey to embrace change, and it all begins with me.  My attitude.  My countenance.  While I appreciate and cherish the past seven years as a gift from God, I can look ahead and know with confidence that this next season is also a gift from God.  And I'm ready to see what new things God has for us. 

It's going to get interesting.  And I can. not. wait.

Isaiah 43:18

Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.  See, I am doing a new thing!  Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?  I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.

The Scrambler

Jackson barely passed the height requirement for the "Scrambler" ride at the city amusement park.  I was hopeful that he'd still be too small, but we grow 'em up tall in the Slater family, so I shouldn't have been surprised when the girls squealed out that Jackson was tall enough.

In my mind I imagined the ride would take us up and down, around in circles a few times, and then we would be done.  Au contraire.  As I sat wedged between Sydney and Brooklyn, giddy with excitement, our enthusiastic "Woo hoo's" were slowly silenced as the "Scrambler" started to live up to its name.  Whipping us around like poor little eggs in a frying pan, I realized this ride was a bit more intense than a simple city park ferris wheel.  About the time the world around us turned into a blur of color, the smiles on Sydney's and my face disappeared and were replaced by looks of serious concern and deep concentration.  I kept envisioning our bucket seat flying off its steal arm and twirling into oblivion.  Brooklyn, however, didn't stop "woo hoo-ing" until the ride came to a complete halt.  In between mental pleas of, "Jesus, help us!" and heart palpitations, I tried to get a visual on the boys, but they were just out of view.  At the end, as we were unstrapping our tense bodies from the seats, my eye caught Joel's.  Jackson was good.  He loved every second of the ride.  My nerves calmed.

Why was I worried?  Joel's steady hand was on my little guy the whole ride.  The steal arm holding the bucket seats of the "Scrambler" was sturdy and trustworthy.  There was nothing to fear.  I spent a couple of minutes with my body stiff as a board when I should have been screaming with delight.  I think Brooklyn may have been the only one of the five of us who really let loose and had fun in the midst of the scramble.

What did I learn?  Life sometimes feels like we're riding on the "Scrambler".  There are so many uncertainties, thrills, terrifying twists and turns, but just like Joel's hand holding my little Jackson safe, God's hand is holding us...firm and secure.  His eye is upon us.  His attention never shifts.

I want to be more like Brooklyn as I ride the scrambler of life.  I want to release my grip and trust the steady hand that holds me; that hand that will never leave me.  Even when the world is spinning, and I'm not sure where the next dip in the ride is going to take me, I want to let go, feel the wind whip across my face, and trust the strong, capable arms of my Heavenly Father.

Life is a crazy ride, but we don't have to live it in fear.  I think God just wants us to sit back, "woo hoo" a little bit more, and trust Him...in every spin along the way.

You Got A Friend In "Nee"

Way back (you know, back in the 90's) when the original Toy Story movie came out, a friend of mine took her two pre-school age nephews to see it.  Weeks following their big movie experience, the youngest was heard singing, "You got a friend in nee!"  Julie, my friend, tried to correct him explaining that the song actually says, "You got a friend in me...m-m-meeee!"  He would hear nothing of it and replied emphatically, "No, Aunt Ju-wee!  It's, 'You got a friend in nee...n-n-neeee!'"

Whichever interpretation works for you, I think it's safe to say that friendships are a gift, and Toy Story does an incredible job of reaching into the heart of what it means to be there for someone.

Over the past two weeks a phenomenal thing has happened to me.  Phenomenal in that I was the recipient of random acts of friendship.  I have friends all over the world.  Some I haven't seen since grade school, some not since college, and others I haven't seen in a couple of days.  Randomly, I received messages, texts, and even a great, big hug from several of these friends.  They were all praying for me.  I hadn't spoken to, nor even seen, some of these individuals, and yet God brought me to mind at a time that I really needed prayer.  How cool is that?  They had no idea what challenges I was facing, or that I had found three gray hairs that morning.  God used his people to reach out to me, and I felt encouraged to keep pressing on.

I learned two powerful things through this:

First, God is deeply concerned about every detail of my life, and while I may not receive audible messages straight from Heaven, He speaks to me through His Body of believers...my friends.  He knows what we need when we need it, and as imperfect as we are, He loves to use us to encourage one another.  My friends were obedient to God's prompting, and I was blessed.

Second, when God brings someone to my mind, and I pray for them, I need to let them know.  There are countless times when a person flashes through my mind.  I usually don't know what, or if anything, is going on with them, but I know I'm supposed to pray.  What I am realizing, however, is that it's not complete until I've let them know.

So often I think we feel isolated and alone in our circumstances.  Maybe being home all day with the kids, or working full-time and struggling to find balance, or focusing on a difficult transition finds us wondering if anyone knows where we are or the struggles we've been facing.  As a part of the Body of Christ, it is becoming more clear to me that reaching out with a quick word or hug is being Jesus to my friends.

It's a simple way of saying, "Hey!  You got a friend in nee!"

Friday's Free Advice:  If someone crosses your mind, stop, pray, and then let them know!

Simple, But Not Easy

Trust and obey.

If I could sum up what God has been whispering to my heart over the past year, it would be these two simple words: trust and obey.  When I begin to worry about the future, or my children, or finances, or ministry, or the housing market, he gently reminds me to trust and obey.

Simple, but not easy.

Trust requires me to give up control.  Trust implies that I am not to worry, fret, or concern myself with how everything is going to work out, but to rest in God's strength.  Trusting God when nothing in the world proves trustworthy.

Obedience requires me to step out in faith - to take action regardless of how I feel or what common sense would say.  When the Spirit prompts me to speak, move forward, pause, or hold my tongue, I must obey.  God's ways are far beyond our ways, far beyond our understanding.  But his ways always have our best interest at heart.

A simple "formula" for spiritual growth, but certainly not an easy one.  He doesn't demand self-sufficiency but complete God-sufficiency.  He doesn't ask us to figure it out, come up with a plan, or get our ducks in a row.  He doesn't expect perfection.  He asks us to let go, trust, and follow.

To find the very thing we are looking for- the beauty of  life in Christ that we've been bumping around in the dark for- we must stop wreckless wandering and start trusting and obeying.  Abandoning ourselves for the glory of God.

So, how do we do this?  How do we trust and obey?  How do we step out in this very noble endeavor?  First, we can not do it on our own.  We need God, and we need others.  So relieved am I that I don't walk this spiritual path alone.  Not only is there a deep intrinsic desire in me for relationship and friendship, but this is also God's desire for me.  None of us were intended to live our lives as lone rangers.  We were created for fellowship.  On my own, I will spend a lifetime striving to trust and obey.  And on my own, I will fail.  However, when I find myself facing a challenge, requiring more of me than I can give, that is when I call out to God, and I call on a friend.  No matter what situation demands my trust and obedience, I can overcome through God's strength and the strength he pours out through a fellow believer.

With the support of a friend or friends, I receive the direction given to me by the Holy Spirit, and I am empowered to trust and obey.  It's not about willpower but the will to allow God's power to work in my life and through the life of The Body of Christ.

Is this an easy answer?  Probably not, but spiritual growth is not easy.  Spiritual growth hurts.  Just as the body endures the pains of growth, so do our spirits when God is pressing in to us and drawing us to a deeper relationship.  Reaching out to people, too, requires trust.  And for some that is too high a risk.  At some point in our lives, however, we have to make a conscious decision to reach out and take that risk.  Otherwise, we will stay the same forever, repeating behaviors, feeling frustrated and disappointed with God, and ultimately feeling the weight of failure on our shoulders because we just can't seem to figure out how to get beyond this place.

Simple, but not easy.

On The Lips!

Sitting at my aunt's dining room table, enjoying the company of family and good food, we were suddenly jolted from our adult conversation by shrieks and squeals coming from above.  Five little second cousins, and one baby cousin who was trying to take a power nap, were getting their wild things on.  We heard a lot of giggling, a few thuds here and there, and several unidentified sounds.  The baby's mom came to his rescue and reported to the rest of us what she witnessed amongst the chaos.  There was one little girl cousin puckering up her lips, one little boy cousin awaiting his doom, while three little girl cousins jumped wildly on an air mattress chanting, "On the lips! On the lips!"  Before Sydney could plant a nice, big smooch on her poor cousin James' cheek, the grown ups intervened, capturing the whole thing on video.  (Lord, have mercy!) We are a close family, but...well...not that close.

All silliness aside, it was truly amazing to me how quickly my children bonded with my cousins' children.  James and Sydney were babies the last time we were together, and since that time, we've added a few family members.  Without skipping a beat, our children fell in love (not the romantic kind of love) instantaneously.  They played their hearts out every day in the ocean's waves and couldn't wait to see each other the next day.  For almost two weeks, they were inseperable.

Saying goodbye was emotional and bittersweet.  Buckets of tears were shed by all the little ones (and the big ones too...saying goodbye is hard no matter how old you are).  I hate parting ways with those I dearly love, but I am grateful that when we go our separate ways, there is a deep longing in all of us for the next time we will see each other again.  And I am grateful that we have inadvertantly passed that down to our children.

James was Sydney's first real crush.  They bonded - on their boogie boards, riding waves, and sharing his goggles - the stuff that real romance is made of.  This summer will hold a fond memory for both of them, and as they grow older, they will realize how blessed they are to be family.

When I start to feel the twinge of sadness that missing my family brings, I only have to remember, "On the lips!  On the lips!" and a smile is quick to cross my face.  As my cousin's wife remarked, "There are places in the south where marrying a second cousin is perfectly normal...but we are not from those parts."

Amen to that.

Back In The Saddle Again

We made it home.  Always a miracle, to say the least.  Aside from one suitcase and one car seat still MIA, six flight delays, one missed flight, a water spill, one potty accident, and finally making it home at one in the morning, all five Slater bodies are well and accounted for.  

The last words out of my mouth as our weary, travelling heads hit the pillows this morning were, "Dear God, please don't let the kids get up before 10am!" 

They were up at 6:30.

I've spent the first three hours of my first morning home paying bills, going through hundreds of e-mails, digging through our cupboards and fridge for breakfast foods that are still edible after two weeks away, and chugging down coffee like water. 

My suitcase is still packed.  Can I just head to the airport and hop on the first plane back to North Carolina?  I called my mom this morning, and they were at the beach.  Post vacation depression has officially set in.  All five of us have shed rivers of tears.  I miss my family back East, Sydney is mourning the end of her first summer crush, and wouldn't you know it...Portland is gray and drizzly.  Really.  Can I please get back on a plane now?  I'm not kidding.

Vacation is over.  That's the reality.  I'm slowly working my way back into the saddle again.  Being away, and being unplugged, gave me thousands of minutes to think, process, and reevaluate my life.  Walks on the beach, conversations with my family, and much empty time has given me a fresh perspective that I believe I lacked before.  My core values have not changed, but there are changes to the way I live them out that I want to make. 

One of the changes will be to unplug more frequently.  Amazingly, I had no withdrawals or negative side effects from little internet access.  On the contrary, I found myself liberated and peaceful.  I need more of that. 

And so, I'm going to wrap up my first post-vacation blog post, and get to work on unpacking my suitcase.  There's a high probability that tears will be shed in the process.   If you think about it...pray for me! :)

And have no fear...I've got a lot of stuff in this head of mine to share with you!  Little by little, it will all leak out.

Unplugging...Temporarily

To my dear friends and readers...  

I'm about to embark on a long anticipated vacation.  I'll be beachin' it for two weeks with my family: the "Slater 5", parents, sister, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc.

I. can. not. wait.

There will be lots of reading, sleeping, coffee drinking, coffee talking, beach walking, ocean diving, and seafood eating.  There will not be much of anything else: house cleaning, laundry doing, dinner cooking, e-mail corresponding, tweeting, or blogging.  We're unplugging for two weeks and, while little to no internet access makes me a tad bit nervous, I'm anticipating a very relaxing get-away.

I'm sure two weeks will give me plenty of new material to share with you when I return home.  (Flying across the country with three little people.  Lord, have mercy!)

Until then, this is where I'll be...

Friday's Free Advice - Listen To Mom

I was two seconds away from hitting delete and completely doing away with my blog this week.  Then, my dear husband sent me this article written by Michael Hyatt, CEO of Thomas Nelson Publishing.  I read it.  It was timely.  I needed a good reminder that, sometimes, I have to go back to the reason and purpose I started blogging and forget all the other stuff.  I decided to keep the blog.  

I started working on my "Friday's Free Advice" today, got five hundred words into it, and stopped.  I called my mom, had a long talk about what's been bumming me out recently, read what I had written out loud to her, and then I deleted the entire draft.  "Too self-deprecating," was her observation.  She went on to encourage me that I can't forget the purpose for which I started my blog and allow these small seasons to develop the gifts and passions that God has given to me.

My mom was right.

I was getting a little side-tracked by a negative response I received from someone I don't even know a few weeks ago.  It was passive-aggressive in nature and really hurt.  (This just goes to show that I haven't quite developed a tough skin yet, which I'm sure takes time.)  Instead of writing from a position of conviction, I was beginning to second-guess every word I typed.  Shame.

So, today I am starting over.  Today is a brand new day...with no mistakes in it yet.  Today I am going to dish out the best advice I can muster up.  Today I am going to give you "Amy" in all her...um...glory?  (Glory is probably stretching it a bit, but I'll just go with it for now.)

Today's Friday's Free Advice: Listen to mom.  She's usually right.  (And Michael Hyatt.  He's got good things to say, too.)

If you are feeling discouraged or frustrated about something near and dear to your heart - parenting, marriage, ministry, career, writing, blogging...whatever it may be - go back to the beginning.  Search your heart and remember why you started out on this journey in the first place.  Rediscover the dream.  Realize that, while you may not be where you want to be right now, you are closer today than you were yesterday.  We all have so far to go, and it's easy to get discouraged or side tracked, but the hope we have is that God isn't finished with us yet.  There's more to your story...and this is only the beginning.

Four In A Row

We've had four days in a row of sunshine, blue skies, and heat.  Pinch me.  I think I must be dreaming.  I don't want to get my hopes up too high, but summer, quite possibly, has made its entrance out here in the Northwest.  I'm afraid to visit weather dot com for fear that rain will be in the 10 day forecast.  I'd rather live in ignorance and believe that warm days are here for the long haul.  

I'm in a skipping, jumping, life-is-wonderful kind of mood too!  Sunshine is good for the soul.  It burns off the dark, cloudy days and turns the doldrums into a far, distant memory.  Yes.  I'm high on vitamin D this morning.  Can't you tell?

In honor of our four days in a row of beautiful, sunny, summertime kind of weather, I quickly jotted down a few of my favorite summertime must-haves.  Feel free to add any of your own summer favorites to my list too.

Summer is...

• Sunshine
• Swimming
• Sunscreen SPF 50 (or more appropriately, Sun-paste - that stuff really works!)
• Strawberry Shortcake
• Sleeping in
• Starbucks Frappuccinos
• Sundresses and flip flops
• Sitting outside under the shade of a tree
• Summer reads
• Salads with fresh fruits and veggies

Have I forgotten anything?

Because I don't want to miss out on any bit of this very beautiful day, I'm going to wrap this up and get off of my computer.  The tree outside my window, reflecting gold and yellow beams of sunlight from its leaves, keeps beckoning me to come outside and play.

And so...I'm off to soak in another beautiful summer day!

Psalm 118:24

This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it!