the first six months

For anyone out there who reads this blog (and kudos to you since I haven't posted one word in over a year), I am going to give you a quick list of the top 10 highlights of the year before I jump into the first six months:

1. January 2015 - I resigned my position as the Early Childhood Director at our church.
2. February 2015 - I started compiling a list of all the projects (house and garage), and personal development goals I wanted to start working towards.
3. April 2015 - SURPRISE! Early spring we found ourselves expecting another Slater, due in December.
4. April-December 2015 - Morning sickness. Morning sickness.  More morning sickness (add in some heartburn and edema, and VOILA...nine very pregnant months go by).
5. Dreams placed on the back burner for a while.
6. July 2015 - Joel started graduate school.
7. July 2015 - We took our annual trip to North Carolina where I passed out on the beach (oh the drama!), and an OBGYN just happened to be walking by...it's a whole story...but not for now.
8. September 2015 - Kids started school - 7th, 5th and 3rd grades.
9. September 2015 - Joel turned 40
10. Jasper Sifa Slater was born on December 19, 2015

That about covers it.  There could be much more, but my brain is so foggy.  I can barely remember what we did last week.

The first six months...post-partum...

I thought about blogging something after Jasper was born, but let's be honest here...for the first two months I sat in the same spot, every. single. day.  And nursed that baby because that was the only thing he wanted to do.  That, and be carried, facing outward, all over the house. He hated the swing.  He hated his car seat.  He hated the swaddle.  He loved to nurse and walk.  Period.

By the time Jasper was three months old we were in full swing with school, sports, and church activities.  And Jasper's new favorite thing was not sleeping.  Ever.  Naps?  No.  Nighttime?  No.  Thirty minutes here and there?  Yes.  Because that is all a three month old needs, right?  A good thirty minutes of shut-eye and BAM, we're back in business.  I was a walking zombie by that point, but I wore make-up and did my hair, so I'm pretty sure I hid it well.

I don't even remember April and May.  I think we were busy.  Sydney turned 13, and I came up with the brilliant idea of throwing her two parties (one for her school friends and one for her church friends) because THIRTEEN.  That's kind of a big deal.  So I went without sleep (what's new, right?), baked and cleaned and planned and shopped for the love of my eldest daughter.  And if you are looking for a good definition of insane, I have one for you.  Remember #6 on my list of top ten highlights?  In May Joel graduated with his master's degree.  Yes.  We are out of our minds.  All the while, Jasper kept nursing (still his favorite) and weighed 19 pounds at his four month check up.  My milk could end world hunger.  I am not kidding.

Here it is, June.  I can't even.  Where did the past six months go?  I know.  They went with the basketball practices and games, the loading and unloading of a car seat for the daily round trips to and from school, the chorale rehearsals, the weekly ballet practices, the Sunday church services and Wednesday night clubs, a million diaper changes, bath times and family dinners.  The past six months went by with all of the memories and crazy and this-is-our-life-and-it's-good-so-try-to-enjoy-it-because-time-is-precious-and-fleeting-and-it-never-slows-down.  Whew.

If you were to ask me what I have gained over the first six months of Jasper's sweet life I would say this:

1. I have gained an incredible appreciation for this season of my life.  When they say time goes by fast, they aren't kidding.  It was only yesterday that Sydney was born, and now she's thirteen.  How in the world?  Time.  That I get to experience the baby kisses and cuddles, soft skin and milky baby breath, and all the firsts one more time is a gift that I do not take for granted.  I am grateful.  I can honestly say that I appreciate all of this so much more this time around.
2. And the other thing I have gained?  Sleep deprivation.

And that is all I'm going to say about that.

How am I, are we, doing after the first sixth months?

We are doing grateful.

Welcome to my world...get rid of that junk - Part 1

How a girl who grew up in a third-world country could accumulate massive quantities of junk is beyond me.  I am ashamed.  I have been known to hoard things: unnecessary things; rainy day things; sunny day things; miscellaneous, random, where-did-this-come-from things.  What can I say?  Life happens.  Babies happen.  Ten years of marriage happen.  Busy lives and transitions happen.  And the next thing you know...you've got stuff.  Even in a small home. The thing about accumulating junk in a small house is that you notice it a lot more quickly because, well, space is limited.  And before you know it, that little pile of junk has become a mountain of junk.  It's scary.  The temptation that I struggle with in moments like these is to start entertaining thoughts like, "This house just isn't big enough anymore," or "I can't handle this cramped space.  We need a bigger place."  Thoughts like this happen when you live in a small house.  It's inevitable.  However, thinking like this can be a distraction from the bigger issue- the hoarding of useless junk.

After I've put the "I-need-a-bigger-house" thoughts out of my mind, I can start tackling the mountain before me.

As a rule of thumb I go through my house 2-3 times a year and do a massive purge: clothes, old toys, papers, magazines, and miscellaneous things that find their way into my home.  Now that my kids are getting older, and we seem to be bringing unbelievable quantities of papers and binders home throughout the year, I find that a good paper purge is in order on a daily - yes, I said daily - basis.  The paper alone will eat up your house and spit you out if you don't keep it under control.  This I promise you.

Small-space living calls for some serious de-junking of your life.  It's the only way to survive.  And I might add, the more you get rid of the more free you will feel.  Simplifying is rewarding in more ways than one.

De-Junking the House 101:

• EXPOSE your junk!  Go through your house and open up closets, cabinets, drawers. and kitchen pantry.  Pull things out from under the bed.

• ASSESS what you have and start making piles.

• KEEP anything that you use regularly or absolutely love.

• DONATE anything that is in good condition that you no longer need/use.  Bag items up and haul to Goodwill/Salvation Army or any other non-profit organization that will receive donations.

• SELL any items that could possibly put a little extra $$ in your pocket.

• THROW AWAY anything that is broken, torn, over-used, or stained.

It's a simple practice - EXPOSE, ASSESS, KEEP, DONATE, SELL, THROW AWAY.  Next week we'll take a more focussed look at closet purging and how to bring your kiddos along for the ride, turning the process into teachable moments.  Join me for Part 2 of getting rid of that junk! :)

Mr. Amy

First, I just want to commend and acknowledge the working moms out there.  I have always had the utmost respect for you and all that you do, but now that I am working (part time, mind you), that respect has doubled...no...tripled!  How you do it all, I don't know.  You are the true super heros, in my opinion. As we are working on getting into a nice groove with our new schedule, I'm afraid my poor blog has received the short end of the stick.  It pains me.  Truly, it does.  As I lay my head on my pillow each night recounting all the activities of the day, the one thing that looms overhead is how negligent I've been with this blog.  I'm still working on finding balance.

While I don't have the brain cells to articulate what God's been doing in my heart and mind over the past week, I thought I'd jot down a few of the highlights:

• Allergies to cockroaches are nothing to laugh about.
• Sometimes empathy is all you can give.
• There is no sitting down on the job when you work at a preschool - there is no time to sit down.
• My son calls me "Teacher Mommy".
• I have surprised myself at how much I can actually do in a 24 hour period.
• God's grace truly is sufficient, and his power is made perfect in my weakness.
• Waking up before the rest of the world to be in the Word and pray, as difficult as it is some days, pays off when someone asks for prayer, and there is a pool of spiritual strength to draw from.
• God isn't expecting perfection, just willingness to try.
• I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
• And finally, I have grown quite fond of being called "Mr. Amy" by the little three-year-old boy in my Friday class.  It comes out more as a "Mith-ter Amy", and my heart melts.

The lunches have been packed and prepared for the rest of the week, book bags are sitting by the door, clothes set out, and the coffee pot ready to brew at 5:15 am.  Mr. Amy will be getting back to work in the morning, ready to take on a new week.

On The Lips!

Sitting at my aunt's dining room table, enjoying the company of family and good food, we were suddenly jolted from our adult conversation by shrieks and squeals coming from above.  Five little second cousins, and one baby cousin who was trying to take a power nap, were getting their wild things on.  We heard a lot of giggling, a few thuds here and there, and several unidentified sounds.  The baby's mom came to his rescue and reported to the rest of us what she witnessed amongst the chaos.  There was one little girl cousin puckering up her lips, one little boy cousin awaiting his doom, while three little girl cousins jumped wildly on an air mattress chanting, "On the lips! On the lips!"  Before Sydney could plant a nice, big smooch on her poor cousin James' cheek, the grown ups intervened, capturing the whole thing on video.  (Lord, have mercy!) We are a close family, but...well...not that close.

All silliness aside, it was truly amazing to me how quickly my children bonded with my cousins' children.  James and Sydney were babies the last time we were together, and since that time, we've added a few family members.  Without skipping a beat, our children fell in love (not the romantic kind of love) instantaneously.  They played their hearts out every day in the ocean's waves and couldn't wait to see each other the next day.  For almost two weeks, they were inseperable.

Saying goodbye was emotional and bittersweet.  Buckets of tears were shed by all the little ones (and the big ones too...saying goodbye is hard no matter how old you are).  I hate parting ways with those I dearly love, but I am grateful that when we go our separate ways, there is a deep longing in all of us for the next time we will see each other again.  And I am grateful that we have inadvertantly passed that down to our children.

James was Sydney's first real crush.  They bonded - on their boogie boards, riding waves, and sharing his goggles - the stuff that real romance is made of.  This summer will hold a fond memory for both of them, and as they grow older, they will realize how blessed they are to be family.

When I start to feel the twinge of sadness that missing my family brings, I only have to remember, "On the lips!  On the lips!" and a smile is quick to cross my face.  As my cousin's wife remarked, "There are places in the south where marrying a second cousin is perfectly normal...but we are not from those parts."

Amen to that.

Four In A Row

We've had four days in a row of sunshine, blue skies, and heat.  Pinch me.  I think I must be dreaming.  I don't want to get my hopes up too high, but summer, quite possibly, has made its entrance out here in the Northwest.  I'm afraid to visit weather dot com for fear that rain will be in the 10 day forecast.  I'd rather live in ignorance and believe that warm days are here for the long haul.  

I'm in a skipping, jumping, life-is-wonderful kind of mood too!  Sunshine is good for the soul.  It burns off the dark, cloudy days and turns the doldrums into a far, distant memory.  Yes.  I'm high on vitamin D this morning.  Can't you tell?

In honor of our four days in a row of beautiful, sunny, summertime kind of weather, I quickly jotted down a few of my favorite summertime must-haves.  Feel free to add any of your own summer favorites to my list too.

Summer is...

• Sunshine
• Swimming
• Sunscreen SPF 50 (or more appropriately, Sun-paste - that stuff really works!)
• Strawberry Shortcake
• Sleeping in
• Starbucks Frappuccinos
• Sundresses and flip flops
• Sitting outside under the shade of a tree
• Summer reads
• Salads with fresh fruits and veggies

Have I forgotten anything?

Because I don't want to miss out on any bit of this very beautiful day, I'm going to wrap this up and get off of my computer.  The tree outside my window, reflecting gold and yellow beams of sunlight from its leaves, keeps beckoning me to come outside and play.

And so...I'm off to soak in another beautiful summer day!

Psalm 118:24

This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it!

Friday's Free Advice - "The Best Summer Ever" Challenge

Friday's Free Advice: "The Best Summer Ever" Challenge.

Last month, on Mother's Day, our church was invited to participate in a "Random Acts of Kindness" challenge.  Square, orange touch cards with "Smile!  You've Just Been Tagged! - Do something nice for someone.  Leave this card behind and extend God's love again!" were handed out, and left in strategic areas of the church for attendees to pick up and take home.  We were encouraged to find subtle ways to reach out to our community by doing random acts of kindness for strangers, and leaving the card behind.

I love this for so many reasons, the first being that the color of the card is ORANGE!  I do love me some orange...bright, summery, happy and fun.  How can you resist?

I am also a big fan of random acts of kindness.  Not too long ago I posted a challenge of my own.  Doing something for someone just for the sake of doing it, to me, is one of the most powerful statements of unconditional love. 

Last night we had a family meeting around the dinner table.  At the top of the agenda (the only thing on the agenda) was brainstorming ways to make this the "best summer ever".  We're calling it "The Best Summer Ever" challenge.  The kids threw out all kinds of ideas of what they thought would make their summer super awesome and fun.  The wild and enthusiastic stream of creativity that flowed from three little minds was impressive and enlightening.  Everything from swimming, to beach days, to trips to the zoo, to playing and reading - they were on a roll. 

 

After the brainstorm dust settled, I affirmed their ideas.  I acknowledged that those things would most certainly make this the "best summer ever".  I went on to pose a question: if Mommy and Daddy are taking them to the pool, to the zoo, to the beach...etc., how are they, then, going to make this the best summer ever for us?

The first word out of, none other than, my three-year-old wild man's mouth was, "Kindness!"  Oh...I have taught them well!  My heart flipped!  The girls chimed in, "Be kind!  Be kind!" 

 

We chatted about what it means to be kind.  Kindness is: showing love, sharing toys, smiling, playing sweetly, listening to Mommy and Daddy.  Good answers.  We also had to cover what kindness is not:  screaming, scratching, pushing, whining, and leaving a mess on the floor when they are done playing with their toys. 

We talked about the fruit of the Spirit (and to be completely honest, by this point in the family meeting Sydney was about the only attentive mind at the table.  Jackson and Brooklyn had checked out somewhere around, "picking up your toys..."  We're working on it.)

Kindness is a big deal in our home, and I think I walked away from our meeting with a sense of accomplishment in one way: my kids know the value of kindness.  Jackson and Brooklyn have witnessed mommy buying coffee anonymously for another person and leaving the bright, happy, orange card behind.  They think it's awesome.  While I can't guarantee that we'll sail smoothly through our summer on the kindness wave, at least I know they are aware of the power of kindness.

So, as Joel and I are challenging our kids, and ourselves, to make this the best summer ever by being kind, I am going to do the same for you!   Be random!  Be kind!  Step out, reach out and be sunlight to your world!  Make this " The Best Summer Ever"!

Good Thoughts

Before the invention of the electric washing machine, it would take a woman six hours to do one load of laundry.  Six hours.  One load.  (Air-dry time, pressing, and folding not included.)  

This little factoid just reminded me of a load of towels I washed yesterday.  They are still in the machine.  I will have to run them again, and hopefully, remember to transfer them to the dryer this time.  From start to finish, this could take an hour-and-a-half.  And I want to whine about it.  I want to pout and throw up my hands in surrender because there is so much laundry to do.  All of the time.  Piles and piles of it.

When I was younger, I was certain that I had been born in the wrong era.  I should have been a prairie girl, or a 1920's flapper, right out of an F. Scott Fitzgerald novel, or part of the Greatest Generation (for sure).  Now that I am older and maybe just a teeny bit wiser, I am convinced that "Laura Ingles Wilder" I am not.  I love my electric washing machine (I love electricity in general).  I love my cell phone and high-speed internet.  I love going to movies, online banking, blue jeans, and my grind & brew coffee maker (hallelujah for my coffee maker!).  I am so appreciative of the modern conveniences I get to enjoy (and fully embrace) on a daily basis.  God made no mistake when he brought this life into the world in 1973.

Sometimes I get restless and critical, worried and depressed when I look at the world I live in.  I can easily get caught up in all the "bad" out there.  Yet, I kind of get the impression that God is still present in all this chaos.  He's still moving, working, blessing, and redeeming.  He even had the forethought and grace to make sure that the electric washing machine was a standard home appliance for a gal like me.

That the sun so graciously decided to poke its head out of the clouds for a brief moment this morning could quite possibly be the inspiration for this random stream of thought.  Or maybe I just needed to pull myself up out of negativity and remind myself that it could always be worse.  I could have been born in a time when bathrooms were outhouses and mornings were spent milking cows, baking bread, and feeding the chickens. 

Wherever the inspiration came from...I'm just plain thankful today.  And that's all I've got to say.

LOST

A true sign that you have crossed the line from avid fan to obsessed fan is when you wake up at 5:45am thinking about the show you watched the night before.  So it was with me this morning.  I tossed and turned throughout the short night with thoughts of the LOST series finale running through my mind.  Questions still remain unanswered.  Theories are still percolating among the die hards.  The first word out of my mouth as the ending credits rolled, "What?"  Nothing much has changed since the first episode of the series.  So, as I sit here this morning, veering away from my typical post style, I feel compelled to share my final thoughts on the finale of LOST.  Sit back, scrutinize, and then feel free to add your own comment at the end. The Losties (as we have come to know them) were a group of lost souls.  Flying together on Oceanic 815, there was not a free soul among them.  Each led a broken life...inhabiting a body of flesh and bones, but lost deep inside.  The one thing they sought out from this life was the one thing that seemed to elude them: redemption.

And then the crash.

What seemed to be the worst thing in the world that could have happened to them was the one thing that brought healing to their lives.  An answer to their unspoken prayers.  Alone in the real world, drawn together, bound together, strong together in the Lost world.  As the island spoke to each one individually, and specifically, we observed inner transformation.  Slow, painful, and sometimes deadly, the work of the island was not so much to discover what it was, but to discover who they were.

In the end, throughout their alternate lives, as they reawakened so to speak, we saw freedom and joy, not terror and fear.  On the island, there was a great deal of horror, yet the memories they reflect upon are the joys of what they island gave to them.

Sun and Jin - redemption in their relationship...and a baby.

Sawyer - freedom from the past and freedom to love.

Hurley - anointed to lead.

Sayid - atonement for his past, a chance to start anew.

Charlie and Claire - souls destined to be together.

Desmond - the constant that drew them all together both on the island and off the island.

Ben - forgiveness...but still incomplete (he has so much to reckon with).

Locke - freedom from the constraints that bound him.  I love what he said to Jack post-surgery and after his reawakening: "I hope someone does for you what you have done for me."  Redemption.

Kate - the burden of a life set against her, lifted as she learned to love sacrificially and selflessly.

Jack - redemption.  His entire life was spent saving everyone around him, longing to be set free from himself.  And so it was, in the very last scene, that he could let go.  He found what he spent his whole life looking for...freedom and redemption.

A part of me wishes that more of my questions could be answered.  What happened to Richard Alpert?  What was the Dharma Initiative all about?  What about Ellie and Miles and Daniel and Charlotte and Walt and the polar bears and Room 23???  Perhaps these issues were not addressed because they were only peripheral characters and symbols set around the more significant part of the story-  that being the characters themselves.  Their hope for freedom from the distorted lives they were living, and their search for redemption.

They were lost before they crashed on the island.  The island found them...and they finally found themselves.

Not to over-spiritualize LOST, but isn't it the hard, painful, and almost deadly seasons of our lives that bring us full circle into the grace and redemption of God?  The Losties had to strive for over half the duration of the series to get off the island, but it was the island that actually healed them.  We fight our island circumstances because they are painful, dark, and overwhelming.  But it is through them that God sets us free, redeems us, and allows us to let go.

Hmmm...just a few thoughts.  What do you think?

Friday's Free Advice & A Summer Reading Give-Away!

As summer is quickly approaching, I am compiling a stack of books to keep me company at the pool, park, beach, Starbucks, airplane, etc.  I love to read, but find myself shelving much anticipated reading projects as motherhood, wifehood and ministry pull at me like tug-of-war.  I'm not complaining (hear me out).  I love (almost) every dimension of this busy life, however, I miss sitting down, uninterrupted, to read anything I want.  

Yesterday afternoon I got a jump-start on my summer reading.  A few weeks ago a friend of mine gave me the book, "You Can Still Wear Cute Shoes", written by Lisa McKay.  I added it to my pile of summer "must-reads", and turned my focus back to this crazy life I've been living.   I have to confess, seeing the book leaning against another lonely book on my shelf, curiosity got the best of me.  I took it down, opened it up and couldn't pull my eyes away until I heard Joel walk in the door at 6pm.  (Jackson and Brooklyn played quietly and peacefully the entire afternoon...I know...it was nothing short of a miracle, and, what I can only believe to be confirmation that I was supposed to read this book.)

In any case, with only a few chapters left, I have successfully knocked out one book on my summer reading list.  At this pace, I fear I may have nothing left to read by the time June 18th rolls around! 

With summer reading on my mind, I thought I would share with you my list (you may find some inspiration and add a few to your own).  Here we go...starting summer off with a splash... 

Amy's Summer Reads (thus far...)

• You Can Still Wear Cute Shoes, by Lisa McKay
• How People Grow, by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend
• Anonymous, by Alicia Britt Chole
• Becoming A True Spiritual Community, by Lawrence J. Crabb
• Love and Logic Magic: When Kids Leave You Speechless, by Jim Fay & Charles Fay

As you can see...it's a little weak.  That's where you come in!  Instead of me dishing out free advice today, it is your turn to advise me!  Send me your book recommendations (fiction and non-fiction alike).  I could really use some inspiration.  And since we're on the subject of good reads, I thought, in turn, I would help jump start one of your own reading lists.  By leaving a comment, you will enter yourself in the "All I Need Is Jesus, And A Good Pair of Jeans", by Susanna Foth Aughtmon, give-away.  This was on my summer reading list last year, and I polished it off in one day.  (You may recall a recent review I wrote  on her second book, "My Bangs Look Good And Other Lies I Tell Myself".)   Instructions for this give-away are as follows:

• Leave a comment with a good book recommendation.
• Winner will be randomly chosen and announced in next week's Friday's Free Advice (only those living in the continental U.S. eligible to win).

It's as simple as that, my friends!   Let's go summer!

Friday's Free Advice

I have issues.  This should come as no surprise to those of you who read my blog regularly.  I wrestle with waiting on God, I struggle with insecurity, I have to cling to God's grace on a daily basis, and work harder on this whole marriage and parenting thing than I have worked on anything else in my life.  

And that's not all. 

I worry. 

I worry a lot.  

Fear is a battle for me.  

When I am in a "good" place emotionally, spiritually and physically I can quickly recognize my fear triggers, and rise above them.  However, when I am tired, stressed, dealing with a difficult child, at odds with Joel, and doggy paddling my way through the waves of unpredictability, I am not so quick to resist worry.  My mind blows things out of proportion.  

And I end up exhausted.

Realizing this about myself, I have learned a few things about how to regain control of my emotions, and pull myself up out of this pit.  There are four little steps I take to move from living overwhelmed to overcoming living.  This is today's Friday's Free Advice:

• Spiritual dimension:  Read the Word of God!

Matthew 6:25-27, 33-34"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear.  Is not life more important than clothes?  Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them.  Are you not much more valuable than they?  Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?  But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.  Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own." (NIV)

God's word takes away the confusion and distorted messages my mind conjures up.  It brings me back to the truth, and truth trumps fear every. single. time.

• Physical dimension: Get some rest! 

Go to bed early.  Take a day, or morning, to flop around the house.  Schedule it into your week, if need be.  I know life gets really busy (I know this because we are busy quite frequently).  I also know that when I have gone too long without rest I burn out.  In fact, this morning as I write this, I am sitting here in my jammies with a cup of coffee on my desk.  I am resting.

• Relational dimension:  Deal with it!

This is probably the most difficult step for me, and I can't say that I do well in this dimension consistently.  However, I am learning and growing (remember...I am clinging to grace on a daily basis!). 

Just last night Joel and I had a long heart-to-heart.  It was a much needed talk, and as I anticipated bringing things up to him I was a wreck internally.  Yet, it proved to be a powerful moment in our relationship.  Instead of avoiding and pushing issues aside, we confronted, listened to each other, talked them out (until 12am), and drew closer as husband and wife. 

• Soul dimension:  Pray!

 The famous philosopher of the 90's, M.C. Hammer, once rapped, "You've got to pray just to make it today...Come on, let's pray."  Okay...a little cheesy, but he was totally right.  I really do need to pray just to make it today!   

When I've saturated my mind in the truth of God's word, addressed any physical or relational issues, I then wrap them up in prayer.  By this time, fear has vanished and my heart, mind and soul are back on track.  Life will constantly try to throw curve balls, but keeping the focus the One who will carry us through them all is the greatest comfort of all.

As we drifted off to sleep last night, Joel prayed over us.  It was the sweetest night's rest I've had in a long time. 

Isaiah 26:3  "Thou will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee." (KJV)

Friday's Free Advice - When All Else Fails...

I live in the Northwest.  Rain is part of the package.  In fact, it is 99% of the way we do life here.  My daughter, Sydney, who is a native, has made it very clear to me that there is a difference between rain, drizzle, and a slight sprinkle.  It’s pretty much all the same to me.  When wet stuff falls from the sky – hard, soft, fast or slow - I call it rain.  

A couple of days ago, I was waiting to pick Sydney up in the carpool line at her school.  We were parked a good distance from the building.  On a dry day it would make for a nice, refreshing jaunt.  On a day like this one in particular, it could only be defined as something out of a nightmare.  We were getting dumped on.  The real rain was pouring.  After I had given Jackson and Brooklyn their stave-off-the-boredom-while-waiting-for-their-sister-snacks, Jackson started bouncing in his seat saying, “Mommy, I need to go potty.”  (This seems all too familiar to me.)  “How bad?” was my reply (hoping the bouncing was more for dramatic effect).  “Mommy, I need to go potty now!”  “Can you wait until we get to Sydney’s ballet school (which is a good thirty minutes away)?” Futile.  The poor guy needed to go.  What to do?

As I visualized myself wading through the puddles and raindrops with two children and a broken umbrella, I could feel a panic attack coming on (I’ve never had one, but I’m pretty sure that’s what was happening to me).  Not to mention that I was dressed “up” for a class I would be teaching that evening (a parenting class, no less).  I found an old zip-lock baggy, and was struck with instant inspiration.  Maybe he could tinkle in the baggie?  But then what?  There was no trash nearby…nowhere to dispose the evidence.  Jackson was beginning to wriggle and bounce even more intensely.  Then I noticed one of my water bottles.  I brought two with me that afternoon: one for the car, and one for later.  I quickly chugged the remaining water from bottle number one and turned to Jackson.

“Jackson, you are going to go pee-pee in this bottle.”

The look on Jackson’s face was a mixture of confusion, shock. and a little fear.

“Jackson, this is going to be fun.  You are going to put your pee-pee in this water bottle!”

I began unfastening him.  He was warming up to the idea.  We got everything situated…and…”tah-dah!”…mission accomplished.

The first words out of Jackson’s mouth were, “Mommy, this is fun!” 

“Yes, it is.”

Then he added, “Look!  It’s yellow!  My favorite color!”

Oh happy day!

Have no fear.  The contents were emptied out on an unsuspecting bush later after the rain died down.  And as far as I can tell, there has been no emotional damage done.

So, tell me…when all else fails, what do you do?

Friday’s Free Advice:  Share your “When All Else Fails” stories.  I would certainly love to hear them!  Mommy moments are much more fun when shared with other mommies…who have been there a time or two.

Sisters

Okay, I started off writing this morning's post about my one year blogging anniversary, which is tomorrow (quite a week for anniversaries!).  However, after breaking up a few dozen sibling disputes over the course of an hour, my train of thought has been derailed, and I have found myself thinking about sisters.  My sister, to be exact. 

Her name is Jen, and today is her birthday.  I won't tell you how old she is, even though she would have NO PROBLEM declaring my age for all to hear - she's just that thoughtful and sweet. 

Jen has always been my partner in crime.  We were souly responsible for shaking a bottle of baby powder into the engine of my grandfather's brand new riding lawn mower, which - fortunately for us - we were little and cute, and he didn't kill us.  In the early days of itinerating, we stood side-by-side declaring, "Bwana sifiwe" and sang Amy Grant's "I Have Decided", making our mom so proud.  We taught Sunday school to masses of Kikuyu children on a weekly basis, and played "Kikuyu mamas" when we got home from church, wrapping our baby dolls on our backs with kikois.  We lived out brief but exciting careers as models.  We've been chased, on foot, by a herd of elephant, and we've been reprimanded in the Amsterdam airport because we tried to order Toblerone without nouget and honey.  We've stood up to mean girls, body surfed in the Indian ocean, helped our mother lug ten, fifty pound, carry on bags across the world (which I am convinced they made the "one carry on per person" policy in her honor), and live for pedicures and coffee talk.  We fought over boys, and cried over boys, took boys' names and spit them out in vain, supported and held each other through bigger heartbreaks and sorrows than middle school crushes.  Jen has been my very best friend from the time we could recognize each other, and when I need a good dose of unedited reality, she's the one I call.

Jen, we are as different as day is to night.  You are the wild and outspoken, and I am the steady and true.  I am so grateful that God put us in the same family.  You are a strong and giften woman, someone I truly admire and aspire to be like.  And nobody, and I mean nobody, can pull off  the White Christmas "Sisters" song like you and me, babe (believe me, I've heard others try).  We nail it every time.  

Happy Birthday, Jen!

Sisters.  Sisters.  There were never such devoted sisters!

Friday's Free Advice & The Winner Is...

Late yesterday afternoon I called up my mom who was en route to D.C..  I think I may have started the conversation out with something like, "My give-away was a flop!"  She laughed.  I do believe I had prefaced the post with the possibility that it could either be divine inspiration or a HUMUNGOUS flop, hoping that the divine really did have something to do with my idea.  In any case, as I was talking about the one person who threw her hat in the ring to participate in the "pay it forward" give-away, my mom gently pointed out that this was not entirely a flop.  

Tammy, whom I have known for some 25 years, is the winner of the My Bangs Look Good and Other Lies I Tell Myself give-away.  I'm so happy for her because she was the very first person to comment on my book review too (I kind of get the impression that she really wants this book!), and she is one of my closest friends in the world.  When we were high school seniors I recall sitting poolside on a beautiful sunny day in Nairobi and laughing our heads off at some pretty strange humor we were sharing.  Kindred we were, and kindred we still are.  We called ourselves "soul sisters".  Yes.  We were a little bit dorky, but that's what makes our friendship so dear to me.  

Now, for the reason that I have come to realize that this give-away was not a flop.  Only one person's name could be drawn anyway.  Only one person would receive a copy of the book from me, and that person would then be responsible for paying it forward.  Had nobody commented on the post, then it would have been a flop.  But by the very fact that someone commented, this book will make its way to Tammy, and she'll pass it on to another girlfriend, and so on and so forth.  This is not a flop to me.  This was the soul purpose of the give-way.  Mission Accomplished.

Which brings me to my Friday's Free Advice:  Pay It Forward. 

It could be anything: a cup of coffee, a compliment, a door opened, a note of encouragement.  We have all received unsolicited acts of kindness from a friend or stranger at some point.  (Quite possibly already once this morning.)  My advice?  Pay it forward.  Think of how touching it is to be the recipient of a random act of kindness.  It feels great.  So, why can't we pass those good feelings on?  Not only is it sweet to receive, but even more so to extend a genuine act of thoughfulness. 

Little or small, it will bring you much more joy than the person you are blessing!  Trust me.  I can't wait to get Tammy's book shipped off to her.  In fact, I need to wrap this up quickly so that I can do just that!

Pay it forward, one random act of kindess at a time!

Pay It Forward - A Give-Away With A Twist!

Okay, let me preface this post with the fact that I am the most non-spontaneous person on the planet.  Not kidding here.  And what I have up my sleeve right now could quite possibly be divine inspiration or a HUMUNGOUS flop.  I guess we'll find out... This morning Joel and I were talking at the kitchen table, gulping down a pot of coffee because we were out late last night, and the three little people that we share this house with were up at an ungodly hour.  That said, we started talking about God and stuff God is doing in our lives, which instantly inspired me to start sharing all the beautiful nuggets of wisdom and encouragement I gleaned from the book, My Bangs Look Good and Other Lies I Tell Myself (you can read my full review here).  I pulled my book out and started reading the underlined portions aloud (which was a lot because I practically underlined the whole thing).  We both laughed.  Good times.

As our conversation drew to a close, I sighed, "I wish I could buy a copy of this book for all my girlfriends."

Not too long after, I came up with an idea.  What if I did a give-away on my blog - the prize being a copy of My Bangs Look Good... - with the stipulation that the winner has to pay it forward?  Meaning the lucky recipient of the book would then post their own My Bangs Look Good... give-away - via a blog or Facebook.  And the winner of that give-away must do the same thing, and so on and so forth.  Somehow, someway, keeping the goodness of this gift moving along like a wave of Tired Supergirls!

So...here's how this give-away is going down:

• Leave a comment on this blog sharing your most recent "oops" moment.

• A winner will be randomly chosen on Thursday and announced Friday on my blog (only those living in the continental United States eligible).

• The winner will be responsible for setting up their own give-away through a blog or Facebook (whichever medium works for them).

Let's pay it forward...one book at a time!

Friday's Free Advice

I'm low on creativity today.   

Brooklyn has the Chicken Pox.

Sydney is officially on spring break.

Jackson is in rare form.

My parents are flying in on Monday.

I've been cleaning my house like a mad woman.

To say this week has been "stressful" would be putting in mildly.

And it's not even 10am...

I'm not one to whine and complain, and certainly have done my best to avoid meaningless drivel on this blog.  However, today I'm feeling tapped.  Maybe you have been here before too...or maybe you're feeling tapped out right along with me. 

So, what would I advise on a day such as this?  For me, it's looking closely at my list of priorities and focusing only on those at the top.  What's on the top of my list?  God, Joel and my kids.  In that order.

If I don't make it out of my jammies today, then so be it.  Contrary to last week's advice, there are days when the "interesting" smell will just have to do!

And that's all I've got.

Friday's Free Advice

It’s no secret that I have been dealing with severe moderate skin issues this past week.  The zit on my chin turned out to be, in fact, a boil.  It all came to a head (pardon the pun) last Saturday morning.  I spent all day Friday bemoaning my skin dilemma and feeling terribly sorry for myself, not to mention how uncomfortable I felt from the pain and swelling.  I didn’t shower or fix my hair, and it wasn’t until after lunch that I changed from my jammies into sweats.  Overall, it was one of those, “woe is me” kind of days (geez…I can be such a baby!).   

Saturday morning, Joel got up with the kids and let me sleep in (I think I whined so much that even he was feeling sorry for me).  When I finally woke up and joined my family in the playroom, the first thing out of Brooklyn’s mouth as I walked by was, “Mommy, you smell…(pause for dramatic effect)…interesting.”  And that’s when I knew…I was suffering from a common case of the “uglies”, and what I needed was some serious intervention. 

Initially, I wished I could simply climb back into bed and stay there until the boil was all healed up.  I was fully willing to surrender to the “uglies”.  Then I heard the “Mommy, we’re hungry; what’s for lunch?” cries from my three little people, and the harsh, cruel reality of the impending trip to the grocery store began to stare me in the face.  I was going to have to leave the house.  With a festering wound on my chin.  And a swollen jaw and lower lip.  It was at this point that I came up with my cure for the common case of the “uglies” and today’s Friday’s Free Advice: four do’s and a don’t.

Do take a shower – takes the “interesting” smell away.

Do your hair – good hair days are priceless.

Do put on make-up – need I say more?  A little cover-up and foundation works miracles.

Do smile – I caught the “uglies” for the first time in seventh grade.  My home perm had turned my naturally poker-straight hair into a wild and frizzy mess on my head.  I cried my eyes out one morning because I couldn’t seem to get control of my mane (I didn’t have the luxury of quality hair products – it was just me, a comb, and water).  By the time I had to leave for school I had cried so hard that my eyes were swollen and red.  I couldn’t bear to leave the house looking so hideous.  And that’s when I learned the power of a good smile.  My mom pulled me aside, looked me straight in the eyes, and said “Amy, show me your smile.”  I smiled.  Then she added, “When you smile, your whole face lights up, and those red splotches practically disappear.  You’re your most beautiful self when you have a smile on your face.”   And I’ve been smiling ever since.

Don’t wear sweats – I’m all about comfort.  I practically live in my sweats…er…comfy clothes.  There is nothing wrong with being comfortable; however, when the “uglies” have struck, the last thing a girl should do is hide in her sweats.  Put on your favorite pair of jeans, a shirt that doesn’t scream, “Hi, I’m a mommy,” and a cute pair of shoes.  As tempting as it is to throw on sweats when down with the “uglies”, I can promise you that you will not feel any better about yourself.  It only makes the case worse.

Trust me…this little cure really works.  Last Saturday, swollen face and bulging boil and all, I showered, make-upped, did my hair, put on my favorite jeans, trendy t-shirt and ballerina flats, and headed out for the grocery store with a big smile on my face.  While the “four do’s and a don’t” didn’t miraculously cure the boil, they were the perfect prescription for the “uglies”.  And I’ve been heeding this advice all week long!

Friday's Free Advice

Sitting here at my computer this morning, I do so with a very squirmy three-year-old.  Jackson has decided that simply being in the same room with me is not enough.  He needs to be pressed up, hands and feet on my waist and in my face kind of close to me.  Currently, he is leaning over my shoulder with his arms squeezing my neck.  This, of course, is not very conducive to typing, but who can resist “Mama, I wanna sit wiff you?”  My heart melts.   

Moments like this I try hard to capture and freeze in my mind like a photograph.  Moms who have gone before me have warned, time and time again, that this season will be gone in a flash.  How true.  Just last night I was looking at pictures taken at a photo shoot right after Sydney was born almost seven years ago.  Tiny hands and curled up toes, her mouth opening up with a yawn (or maybe she was rooting around for her milk - she sure loved mealtime).  Precious memories, evidence of God’s miraculous answer to a long awaited prayer. 

And so today, rather than fill a page with deep thoughts, funny stories, and motherly musings, I’m going to put my computer away for a while and sit with my son.  I’m going to cherish this human jungle gym feeling, tuck it away in my heart, and hold it like a worn black and white photo before it is lost forever.  With my face cupped in the sticky hands of my son as he whispers, “Mama, I love you,” I realize this is my moment to let time stand still…and I’m going to do just that.

Friday’s Free Advice: If it can wait until later, or even tomorrow, let it go and embrace the time you have with the ones you love…especially if their bodies are dangling from your shoulders with their cheeks mashed against yours.

Friday's Free Advice

I find it somewhat ironic (and perhaps a teeny bit frightening) that I decided to make Friday my big day for dishing out advice, seeing that I am not an authority or leading expert on anything (except for my own personal dysfunction).  I haven’t lived long enough nor have I collected nearly enough life experiences to fill your weeks with deep insights and "you ought to's".  Quite honestly, I feel a little pretentious as I sit here conjuring up this week’s free advice, scratching my head as to what possessed me to declare that Friday’s were going to be my “free advice” days in the first place.  What was I thinking?  Yet, I got this snowball started, so I guess I need to continue rolling away until I make it down the mountain (not even sure if that makes sense).  

Today’s “free advice”:  Do a little every day (housecleaning, that is). 

Because I “have it all together” and feel compelled to pass on these snippits of wisdom and knowledge, I have also come to realize that much of what I am advising is what I am personally feeling challenged to do, practice, and change in my own life.  Take, for example, housecleaning.  There was a time, in the not-so-distant past, when I practiced the art of doing a little cleaning throughout the week so that by the end of the week I wasn’t facing 1550 square feet of dirt, grime and laundry.  I was doing pretty well for a while, and then I started adding more to my life (another child included in that), and suddenly found myself pushing off the cleaning - procrastinating myself into a giant, filthy mess.

Last Saturday I literally spent the entire day cleaning, scrubbing, cooking, grocery shopping, vacuuming and washing multiple loads of laundry (which subsequently needed to be folded afterwards).  I was exhausted and ready to hit the hay by 7pm.  I wanted to kick myself for waiting to do it all in one day.  I realized I needed to start going back to what has worked for me in the past: taking on a little bit each day.

It kind of looks like this:

Monday – dusting and vacuuming

Tuesday – laundering clothes and vacuuming

Wednesday – laundering towels and vacuuming

Thursday – free day (which I desperately need) and, of course, vacuuming

Friday – bathrooms, laundering of washrags and kitchen towels and vacuuming

Saturday – groceries, laundering clothes and bed linens, kitchen, wash hardwood floors…and vacuuming

(As you can see, vacuuming is a daily chore at my house…and desperately needed.)

By breaking it up throughout the week I find that I am not so weary.  Some days are easier than others, but at least I’m not taking it all on in one day…that’s just unnecessary, especially with three young children running around.

What about you?  Have you tapped in to your inner housecleaning diva?  Do you have any tricks of the trade?  Please feel free to share your pearls of wisdom with the rest of us!

Friday's Free Advice

And my Friday’s Free Advice for the day is…(drum roll please)…  

Pursue your passions!

Yikes!  What the heck does that mean?  (Seriously, we could go in several different directions with this.  Especially since I just got home from MomsConnect, and the topic of discussion was “ways to spice up your marriage”.)

Allow me to clarify: find out what your God-given passion is, and then pursue it with all of your heart.

My first and foremost passion is God: 

Deuteronomy 6:5

Love the LORD your God with all your heart (passion) and with all your soul and with all your strength.

My second passion is for my husband:

Genesis 2:24

A man will leave his father and mother and be united (cleave) to his wife, and they will become one flesh.

Thirdly, I am passionate about raising my children to know and love God, each other, and live lives of integrity.

Proverbs 22:6

Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.

Beyond these first three priorities in my life, I believe God created me for something very specific.  In fact, I truly believe each and every person on the planet was created and designed for a purpose tailor-made just for them.  God has plans for us, my friends!  That excites me!  Does it excite you?

Sometimes the challenge comes, not from whether or not we believe we were created for a purpose, but from not having a clear picture of what that purpose is.  My $.02 for you today?  Do everything you can to uncover and discover all that God has intended for you.  A good place to start is by going through the book SHAPE, by Erik E. Rees.  (I took a class based on this book through my church recently – it was a powerful journey, let me tell you!)

Once you have a clear idea of what you are passionate about (and you may already know what that “thing” is but perhaps have been too afraid to declare it or step out and try it) I would encourage you to do two things:

• Find a mentor (someone you trust, respect, admire, and who’s walking a few steps ahead of you in the journey) -  Have them coach you through the process of discovery.

• Look for ways to put your passion to practice. - I’ve said this before, and I’ll say it again, and again, and again (you get the picture); writing is my passion, and that is why I have this silly, little blog.   I am also passionate about working and investing in the lives of other women, thus why I am active in the women's ministry at our church.  I’m learning to put my passion into practice. 

By doing these two things, it is really hard to tell what doors God will open up to you next.  “Do not despise the day of small beginnings,” Zechariah 4:10 (paraphrased).  Where once there was a tiny seed, there will, one day, be a giant oak tree. 

Don’t be afraid to step up and out. 

Seize your moment…

Give God your life…

And pursue your passions with all of your heart!

Friday's Free Advice

Read a book.  

That’s it.  Read a book. 

Oh…perhaps I should be a little more specific. 

Read a good piece of fiction. 

I like to read.  In fact, I like to read a lot.  Before I was married and had children, I was always reading something.  I wouldn’t classify myself as a bookworm, but I definitely take great pleasure in soaking up great literature.  My life as a mom has limited the scope of my reading.  These days I find myself flipping through the pages of Dr. Dobson’s “Strong-Willed Child” and “Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood”,  both of which I highly recommend.  And, if my nose isn’t in one of those books, you can easily find me sniffing away through one of several spiritual growth and leadership development books.  Between my job as a mom, my role as a wife, my passion for ministry and deep desire to grow in all three of these areas, by the time my kids are down for the night I don’t have very many active brain cells left.  I’m pretty much tapped out.

Last spring I challenged myself to read Tolstoy’s “Anna Karenina”.  I didn’t care how long it took me to read it.  I was determined to plow my way through.  In the past I have felt guilty granting myself permission to read something simply for the fun of it.  I mean, really.  Who has the time?  Then I realized something quite simple.  I have to make the time, and stop feeling guilty about it. 

It took me four months to read “Anna Karenina” (even admitting how long it took me to read this book is a tad bit humiliating, to say the least).  There were some days I could only get through about two pages.  My eyes would start criss-crossing and the next thing I knew I was drifting off to “la, la land”.  Still, I tried to read a little bit every day. 

For me, thrusting myself into a great story is a form of pampering.  I absolutely love to get caught up in characters and plot, suspense and intrigue, lapping up and chewing on the rich words of the storyteller.  It takes me away, causes me to use my imagination and stretches out the tired muscles in my head. 

My advice, read a good fictional piece of literature.  Be good to yourself.  Enjoy thirty minutes of a good story. 

I know it can appear unproductive and wasteful, but let me give you something to think about for a minute.  We’re all about balance these days, right?  We work hard to prioritize, juggle, multi-task, etc., in order to attain a semblance of balance.  In my opinion, a balanced life knows how to play too.  It knows how to take care of itself so it doesn’t burn out.  For me, and perhaps for you too, reading something for the pleasure of reading is how I keep a little balance in my life. 

I just finished “The Lovely Bones”, by Alice Sebold, and I’m currently looking for my next fictional read.  My goal is to incorporate four fictional pieces of literature into the mixture of other books I am reading through the year.  Maybe you’ve already learned how to strike a balance in this.  I know I tend to be a slow learner.  So, tell me, what books are you reading right now?  Have you read anything good lately?  Is there something you would recommend?  Feel free to share it…I would love to hear your feedback.

In the meantime…read on, my friends.