Last week I quickly jotted down a few thoughts on grace. After three decades plus of serving God, it would appear that my heart has reawakened to the glorious grace he has for me…that he has always had for me. Where on earth have I been? Oh, yeah, that’s right…I’ve been over there in the corner, comparing myself to the mom whose five-year-old is learning multiplication while I don’t even understand the directions for Sydney’s first grade math homework. And wouldn’t you know it, just as I have stepped into the irresistible life of grace, the enemy has been on alert – prepping for that one moment of weakness when he can swoop in and tear me down.
I spent a weekend get-away with a couple of girlfriends recently. It was fabulous. We got out of town, sat around in our sweats (hello…comfy clothes is my love language!), ate scrumptious food, watched HGTV and a good ‘ol chick flick, and - just to be certain this was a full fledged girls’ weekend - there was a whole lot of talking. While the headache from sleep deprivation nearly took me out the morning after, I had a truly amazing time. However, there were a few moments of internal struggle for me off and on throughout our conversations. You see, I have incredible friends. They do just about everything great. I think I’ve mentioned this fact before in a previous post. As we chatted it up about motherhood, our kids, and our hubbies, I almost had to pinch myself because, for a moment, I truly thought I was in the presence of female greatness. They do it all. Not that their lives have been perfect because each has had her fair share of personal struggle, but they’ve handled every challenge superbly. And to top it off…they are serious coupon clippers – down to their portable coupon file-a-folders. When they broke these babies out, I thought I would fall off my seat. One gal asked me if I “do” coupons. Yes, I do “do” coupons, but apparently not like they do. Listening to them gab on and on about all the free stuff they get with coupons, the $5 Target purses and a lifetime supply of Coke, a little voice in my head started taunting me.
“You only thought you were a good steward of your money. Look at these women. They really know how to manage what God has given to them. God only blesses those who steward their money well.”
Ugh. Needless to say, I left that conversation with a huge knot in my stomach. This kind of thinking, however, is completely distorted. In the past I would have allowed the untrue message to eat me alive, but not this time!
My thoughts turned to God’s truth (and even with the truth in mind, I had to battle this one out):
“And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work. Now he who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will also supply and increase your store of seed and will enlarge the harvest of your righteousness.” – 2 Corinthians 9:8 & 10.
The beautiful thing about grace is redemption. The beautiful thing about redemption is freedom. And freedom is exhilarating and irresistible. I live my life surrounded by spills and dust bunnies big enough to hop right out the door on their own, yet in the midst of it all, God is there, ready and willing to help me clean up the dirt and grime all the while holding me firmly and lovingly in his tender grasp. And as for coupons, well, I’ll keep doing my best. If I never win a “frugalista of the year” award, so be it. God’s grace abounds to me in all things, and at all times. When I am weak, he is my strength. When I head out the door for the grocery store and forget my coupons altogether (which happened just the other day), he doesn’t judge or shake his head at me. Rather, he helps me shop more wisely because he knows how much I depend upon him and his ability to supply and increase my store of seed.
And I’m pretty sure that my amazing girlfriends will still love this budding “Frugalista” in spite of my coupon file-a-folder deficiency!
I’m learning to walk in God’s grace at all times, and in all things.