Hard Things

I’ve done one or two difficult things in my life.  And by difficult, I mean, things that pushed me beyond my comfort zone and meant taking a risk.  I moved to France in August of 1999.  I lived with a woman who spoke zero English (nada, zilch…not one word of my native tongue).  I bought a wedding dress before I even had a steady boyfriend (call me crazy…I’m sure lots of people did).  I’ve climbed a mountain (okay, it was a small mountain, but it still counts because when I looked down into its crater and felt my stomach swirl and flop there was no questioning we were at a much higher altitude than your average, run-of-the-mill hill).  I’ve done a little public speaking (which I have recently learned that 95% of public speakers experience nervousness and anxiety to some degree).  And I birthed my last child sans drugs.  It was completely au natural, and I remember it like it was yesterday, believe me.   

Like I said, I haven’t done too many hard things, which really only means I’ve been playing it safe my whole life.  Too safe.  I’m not an adventure seeker, and you will never see me on Survivor, Amazing Race, or hanging out with the likes of Bear Grylls and the National Geographic crew.  You can forget about that.  I’m not one looking for the next thrill, but I am one who wants to live a thrilling life.  I want to be one who lives out her faith and is willing to take the chances that God brings my way.  I could easily stay on the sidelines and enjoy the comfort and security of where I am currently, but I believe if I want true blessing and an extraordinary life, then I need to start stepping out and doing a few difficult things.

Sunday was our missions faith-promise Sunday.  Each person/family was challenged (but not obligated) to commit a certain amount of money each month, throughout the year, for missions.  In addition to that, we were given the opportunity to participate in planting 250 churches in Ethiopia.  And in addition to that, we were given a challenge to participate with Convoy of Hope and bring one day’s salary as an offering on Easter Sunday that will go towards “One Day To Feed The World”.  Wow.  As I sat in my seat that morning, I could feel the wrestling match going on in my head and in my stomach.  “But God…it’s been such a hard year.  You can’t really be asking us to do all this?”  “God, I’m not sure I have enough faith.  I believe you can do anything, and I believe you can supply, but…this?  Really?”

And then something else happened.  As clear as day, I recalled what I sensed God whisper to me in the wee hours of that same morning, “Amy, trust me.  Amy, stop worrying about tomorrow.  Take care of today.  Focus on today.  Trust me with the tomorrows.”

And suddenly, I knew.  We couldn’t sit on the sidelines and simply watch while others stepped out in courageous faith.  We had to step out too.  We had to place all of our fears and uncertainties and, “how are we going to do this?” questions on the altar along with our faith promise commitments. 

This was one of those hard things.  Hard, as in, “God you have called us to do this, to step out in faith, and now we surrender to you…to the unknown path we walk.”

On the way home from church, Sydney called to me from the back seat, “Hey Mom! Would you break my piggy bank when we get home?”  

“Why, Honey?”

“I want to give all my money to help the people in Haiti.”

My heart melted.  And I realized something very profound: if Joel and I want to raise children with hearts for giving, then we must model giving.  For Sydney, this was so simple…nothing hard about it at all.  In fact, to her, giving is a delight.  Even for myself, giving this time was a joy, even though it was a step of faith.  I truly felt what it means to be a cheerful giver.

My family is on a mission: a mission to change the world, one small step at a time.  We will not shy away from the difficult tasks, but we will accept the challenges God brings our way and live lives with purpose and courageous faith.  We will do the hard things.

Legacy - Part Two

Have you thrown a temper tantrum lately?  I have.  I know what you’re probably thinking:  “That’s something I’d like to see!  Amy throwing a temper tantrum!”  Before you get all excited envisioning my five foot eight frame flailing about on the ground, my meltdown was a little less exuberant.  I didn’t realize at the time that my outburst was, in fact, a temper tantrum until we starting dealing with a succession of bedtime battles with Sydney.

Whether it was coming off of the holiday sugar high, or the stress we’ve been under over the past few months, or the fact that Joel was preparing to leave on an eleven-day building trip to Nicaragua with a group from our church, Sydney downright lost it.  And when I say, “lost it”, I mean lost ALL of IT.  Night after night we faced the same drama:  arms and legs twisting and swinging this way and that; blood curdling screams that made our hearts drop to the pits of our stomachs; red-faced angry words that stung and bruised and didn’t make sense all at the same time.  Sydney has always been a challenge, but meltdowns of this proportion are very rare, and this specific behavior hadn’t graced our lives in well over a year. 

While Joel was in Nicaragua I begged God for a hiatus from these explosions.  I think He must have had mercy on me, because, while there were still outbursts, they were manageable.  Either that, or He granted me some much needed wisdom and insight in dealing with them properly.  On one such occasion we were driving home from an outing, and it was late.  Sydney started spiraling out of control emotionally.  Instantly I had the good sense to stop her, and in a calm voice ask her what I could do to help.  I said, “Sydney, I can see that you are upset, and I really want to help you.  What is it that I can do for you right now?”  She sniffled and snorted then said, “I can’t think.  I’m crying.”  I replied, “Then, you need to stop crying and start thinking.  I love you and I really do want to help you, but until you stop crying and start thinking, there’s nothing I can do for you.”  It was like magic.  Instantly anger was diffused, muscles relaxed and she quieted down long enough to think and listen.

I’m not a super mom, by any means, but by remaining calm and thoughtful in an irrational moment, I was able to safely reign in my emotionally expressive child.  This has made me think a lot about my relationship with God.  While I haven’t been physically thrashing my body in a heated temper tantrum over not getting my way, I have been mindless in my cries to God.  In my head I thought things were supposed to go a certain way, and they didn’t…so rather than stop and find out God’s thoughts on the matter, I’ve whined, cried, questioned, and blubbered out selfish one-way prayers.  Sydney’s tantrums have brought much conviction to me.

When I finally drew in a deep breadth and exhaled, God had a chance to speak, to say, “Hey Amy, I really love you and I want to help you, but you need to stop crying first.”  When I stopped crying, and started listening to the still, small voice of my Heavenly Father, He started speaking. 

The following four life practices that I will be implementing this year are what I sensed God calling me to do in that quiet moment of reflection:

• Wait (in silence and solitude) – Psalm 46:10 NIV “Be still, and know that I am God.” Isaiah 40:31 KJV “But they that wait upon the Lord will renew their strength; they will mount up with wings as eagles.”  Before I rush out planning and making decisions, I sense that God is quietly urging me to pause – to wait in the stillness of His presence.  Rather than fret and worry, He is calling me to quiet my mind, seek after Him, long for Him, and He will bring clarity, straightforward answers and peace that passes understanding. 

• Delight in the Lord – Psalm 37:4 “Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.”  When I begin to delight, cherish and take care of those things that are dear to God, then He, in turn, will do the same for me.  And really, God cares a million times more about my husband, children, daily needs, hopes, heart desires and dreams than I ever could.  (I have a strong feeling I will need to practice this on a daily basis.)

• Thanksgiving – Psalm 50:23 NIV “He who sacrifices thank offerings honors me, and he prepares the way so that I may show him the salvation of God.”  Sometimes it’s easy to come before God with a heart of thanksgiving; like after a long-awaited prayer has been answered, or everything in life is going our way.  However, there are those times when thanksgiving is a sacrifice.  It doesn’t come natural.  It may even hurt.  You know that scripture, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is the tree of life”?  Well, offering up words of thanks and gratitude to God when the heart is sick is what I believe it means to offer up a sacrifice of thanksgiving.  I believe God is calling me to thank Him even though I have yet to see the longing of my life fulfilled.  In due time, He will make all things beautiful.  I am going to focus on the hope of what is to come, thank Him in advance for it, even if it hurts.

• Sacrificial giving – Psalm 65:11 NIV “You crown the year with your bounty and your carts overflow with abundance.”  Tithing is a no brainer.  God’s Word instructs us to give Him a tenth of our earnings (Deuteronomy 14:22).  When we do so, we are living in obedience.  I don’t believe God to be a tyrant up there in heaven wielding a big stick, ready to swat at anyone who so much dares not tithe.  However, I believe that those who do tithe are in a much better position for favor, blessing and protection than those who don’t.  God is not legalistic, but He has set these instructions before us for our benefit.  When we don’t tithe it only ends up hurting us, not Him.  That said, even while tithing may sometimes feel like a sacrifice, Joel and I believe God is calling us to re-align our finances and give beyond our regular tithes and offerings – to give sacrificially.  Only blessing can be reaped when we give to that which touches our Father’s heart, especially when that giving isn’t an easy thing to do.

So, there you have it, in a not-so-little nutshell.  This is only the tip of the iceberg, but a great start to what I hope will be a life well lived – a life bearing fruit, pursuing a dream and leaving a legacy.

Legacy - Part One

I’ve had a lot on my mind lately.  Deep thoughts and not-so-deep thoughts alike have been swooshing around in this noggin of mine.  And each time I’ve tried to sit down and start typing them out there would, of course, be some crisis to be addressed – like keeping Jackson company while he sat on the potty for an hour waiting for his “business” to come out into the toilet and not his pull-up, or spending two hours at bedtime dealing with non-stop emotional meltdowns by child #1, or playing referee to a multitude of sibling knock-down-drag-out fights, on top of the day-to-day challenges of raising three kids with the hope that they become well-adjusted, law-abiding, rational adults some day.  Needless to say, time has not been on my side, and the vast majority of my deep musings and insights have completely evaporated in the heat of childrearing.  

With that said, the following is what has lingered profoundly in my soul amidst the crazies in my life.  It is the thought, the conviction, the goal and where I have zeroed in emotionally, spiritually and cognitively over the past few weeks.  The big question to myself:  What am I leaving behind?  What will be my legacy?

A friend of mine wrote on this at the beginning of the month, and it stuck with me, as this was something I, too, had been wrestling with.  When I’m gone, what impression will I have left behind?  What will my husband say of me?  My children?  My friends?  Those God has called me to serve?  Will their words be mere accolades of my sweetness and quick smile?  Or will I have left a fruitful orchard of spiritual substance for my loved ones to feast on long after I’m gone?  My legacy. 

I have high hopes for myself, but fear I fall short more often than not.  I lose my patience, hold grudges, compare, whine and complain, and try very hard to justify each one of these offenses, only to end up staring straight into the face of conviction when I sit down to read my Bible.  I wonder if there’s any hope for me?  (And I’m eternally grateful that the answer to that is “YES”!)

I had a conversation this week that both challenged and encouraged me.  I was challenged to look at my life in the context of a bigger picture…a God-sized picture.  For a thinking person like myself I find dreaming big to be extremely difficult.  I’m naturally inclined to focus on the here and now…not so much the vastness of what can be.  So, in conjunction with my thoughts on legacy, I sat down and started looking at where I want to see myself down the road, and what it’s going to take for me to get there.  Yes.  I want to leave a cherished and rich legacy behind.  Now, rather that simply writing the story of my today, I am challenging myself to begin writing the story of what can be, what I will be, and how I believe God is going to take me there.

In my next post I will share with you the four areas in my life that I have sensed God calling me to go deeper, and how I plan to do so.  I have bigger dreams for my future, but with a keen understanding that big dreams start with small steps - each one building on the next.  For this year I will be incorporating these four things into the DNA of my life, with high hopes that they will become second nature to me, and through them the first step to my dream fulfilled will be realized.

God Who Sees Us In The Mystery Of The Wait

 There is a Christian code of conduct, so to speak, that is laid out pretty clearly in the book of Deuteronomy - the Ten Commandments, to be specific.  It is not difficult to discern the kind of behavior God desires from us.  He plainly articulates His will in these ten mandates.   

But what about the gray issues; those questions of life that seem to fall into the category of “mysterious”?  The mysterious will of God.  Too often, in my own personal experience, there are situations, life circumstances, and challenges that go far beyond honoring my father and mother and keeping the Sabbath day holy.  They are those defining moments when I don’t know what to do, or what God is doing, and what it is He wants from me.  I’m faced with a choice, and I feel lost, uncertain, and afraid of making a bad decision.  Sometimes it comes in the form of watching my husband go through a difficult season, and as much as I pray and seek God for a wise word to share, my mind goes blank and the insight just isn’t there.  Most times I find myself waiting in silence for the fulfillment of a deep longing, and the wait feels like a lifetime.  I start wondering, which eventually turns to panic, if I’ve messed up somewhere along the way.  Did I disappoint God?  Did my opportunity pass me by?  Have I missed His plan and will?  Why is He being so quiet?  Why won’t He speak up?  I feel completely unsettled when I sense that God is far from me and His will mysterious to me.

It is in that mystery, however, that God is doing His greatest work.  As challenging the situation may be, and often times emotionally draining, I take great comfort in that God sees everything.  Every detail, every tear, every moment spent second guessing every choice I’ve ever made are all seen and remembered by God.  And when the way doesn’t seem clear or God’s answer is momentarily withheld, the best thing to do is wait. 

On one of my long trips back to Kenya, I ended up with a thirteen-hour layover in Zurich, Switzerland.  I was twenty-years-old, had just survived the first semester of my sophomore year of college (barely), and was heading home to be with my parents.  My dad was what one might consider an overly protective father and had given me strict instructions to NOT leave the airport, under any circumstances.  I did exactly what he told me to do and spent thirteen long hours cooped up in the tiny international terminal (I realize this might have been a much more fascinating story had I actually left the airport, but unfortunately for me and you, I stayed put).

The wait can only be described as hell (pardon my “French”).  Seriously though, I was miserable, especially considering that I had just been on an airplane for eight hours flying from Chicago.  I was tired, smelly, and coming down with some kind of bug that made food unappealing to me.  This was “back in the day” before portable DVD players, iPods, notebook computers, e-mail, facebook, etc.  This was the early nineties, and there wasn’t much for a poor college girl to do for thirteen hours besides read and people watch.  So, I read a little and people watched a lot.

I was about six hours into the layover when two Nigerian men approached me.  They sat down next to me and struck up a conversation about traveling.  They were very interested in where I had flown from and where I was headed.  Being somewhat naïve, I chatted with them for a good length of time – mostly, I think, out of extreme boredom and that it was such a reprieve to have someone to talk to whose English I could understand.  After we had discussed the beauty and wonders of Africa, they finally got down to business.  They needed me to do them a favor:  to pose as the wife of one of them so that they could leave the airport.  It seemed a little odd to me, but unless part of their “party” remained in the airport, they were not permitted to leave.  Thus, they needed me to play the part of “wifey” so that the officials would let them exit for a period of time.  The more they disclosed to me, the more I realized they were up to something that was likely to be illegal.  I had the good sense to decline these gentlemen’s proposal and send them on their way.  As much as I have always dreamed about being a secret agent super-spy, I value my freedom more and figured all that adventure was not worth spending time in a Zurich prison cell.

And so, my long wait continued. 

Sometimes when God has me in a period of waiting it would be so tempting to jump the gun and seize the first opportunity for reprieve that comes my way.  I get desperate to see the delay come to an end.  Yet, in my haste I could do much more damage than if I had left it alone- just like my experience in the Zurich airport.  In order to ease my boredom and make the layover go faster, I could have accepted the offer those men gave me.  The end result, though, would have been disastrous.  In the same way, when I’ve reacted to God’s silence with panic, and thus tried to fix a situation, my “happily ever after” left me heartbroken.  I was too impatient and too immature to realize that part of God’s plan and will was for me to simply wait.

The wait is God’s will.  It’s not punishment or a sign that I have somehow missed God’s perfect plan for my life.  It is part of the plan.  The fulfillment of my destiny is in the wait.  Without it, I would be incomplete.  And it’s not so much the waiting as it is realizing that God is not upset with me.  He is waiting right alongside me.  He is in the wait.  He is orchestrating time and space for the moment when He will reveal the answer to my question, the next step in the journey, the direction for my life, and the fulfillment of my heart’s desire.  It is no mystery, even though so often God is very mysterious to me. 

Isaiah 40:31 (KJV)

But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

Beth Moore points out poignantly:

“Our strength will be depleted when we wait on the event, or final outcome.  But our strength will be renewed when we wait on God.” (Paraphrased.)

God sees me, and God sees you.  He sees the challenges we are facing.  He sees the pain we are feeling.  He is “El Roi”, the “strong one who sees”.   And this El Roi, the strong God who sees everything, every detail, every tear and every fear, is the same God who is with us in the wait, ready to pour His strength into our lives.  As we wait on Him, He renews our strength by pouring His strength into us.  He sees our heart’s desires.  He sees the hopes deferred and stands ready to hold us in His arms, waiting with us through the storms of life.

Habakkuk 2:3 (NIV)

Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay.

While the path seems unclear now, God will make it clear in His time.  We don’t have to figure it out, we don’t have to search for a “Plan B” because the wait is His will, and it won’t last forever.  The answer is coming for those of us who are willing to wait upon the Lord.

And when the wait is over, we will be one step closer to God’s heart, and our joy will be complete.

Proverbs 13:12 (NIV)

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.

The God who sees is a strong God.  He is ready to offer us His strength as we wait; we simply need to reach out and receive it.  I am challenged today to do just this.  I am on a journey that seems uncertain and unclear, but I know I am not alone.  God sees me.  God walks with me, and God will strengthen me while I wait.  And in His timing, He will bring the answer and the clarity I need.  While hope may be deferred in this moment, it is only a matter of time before this longing in my heart is fulfilled, and joy once again renewed.

Relevant...Am I?

What changes people’s lives?  Who are the catalysts for that change?  Do they know who they are?  Do they realize change is happening because of them?  What is their message - their platform?  Did they set out to intentionally change the lives of others?  Are those changes for the best?  What makes their message significant to those following them?  

Relevance.  I’ve been contemplating this quite a bit lately.  Am I relevant?  Am I one who inspires others to change?  And if so, is it a change for the better?  Is my message, my voice, relevant to what others are going through?  Do I even have a message to begin with?

To quote Beth Moore:

“Coincidences are miracles in which God wishes that you remain anonymous.  BUT, God never wants to be anonymous in your life.”

Nothing happens in life without a greater purpose.  For some of us, we may never realize the relevance of our lives while we are living, or how many people we have touched with our words, our actions, our prayers.  Those coincidental moments when I’ve shared something that has been pressing on my heart, and in doing so the life of another has been transformed, are not by chance.  They were miracles ordained by God, and in many cases, I may never even know about it.  While the role I play in the process of change may go unnoticed and anonymous, I pray that God is never anonymous in my life.  It is the deep longing of my heart that God’s reflection would consistently be evident in me. 

I know I mess up…A LOT.  And I’m pretty good at documenting all my shortcomings too.  Still, I also know it doesn’t take a perfect person to inspire, encourage or bring glory to God.  It only takes a willing vessel – incapable, ill equipped, and hopelessly flawed.  You know, maybe it really is for the best that we don’t know just how relevant we are!  I know for myself it could so quickly go to my head.  Perhaps that is why God wishes that I/we would remain anonymous.

“In so doing (in His providence) God attends not only to apparently momentous events and people but also to those that seem both mundane and trivial…Indeed, so all encompassing is God’s attention to events within creation that nothing…happens by chance.

- Holman Illustrated Bible Dictionary on the providence of God.

So, for you who are changing poopie diapers, wiping spit up off of every shirt you own, cleaning up spills, teaching toddlers how to pick up their toys, potty training (that’s me right now), packing lunches every day, playing taxi driver as you shuffle your brood from one place to the next, trying to balance God, self, spouse, kids, church, school, work (oh how the list is endless), hormones and bad hair days - for you who think you are invisible to the rest of the world - You (and I).  Are.  Relevant!  God’s hand is in the mundane and trivial just as much as the amazing and momentous.  Nothing happens by chance, and where we are is right where God wants us to be.  This is no coincidence.

It is God’s providence.  And as we continue to walk through the daily ordinariness and routine, may we do so with understanding and fearless conviction that everything we do is relevant.  Our names may never appear in a book or magazine, and we may never get a one-on-one interview with Oprah, but we all have the opportunity to impact the life of another, and perhaps be that one person’s catalyst for change. 

Let us allow God to work anonymously through us.  And may He never be anonymous in us!

The M.K. Way!

M.K.’s (Missionary Kids – of which I am one), have a simple motto that allows them to cope with the not-so-glamorous moments of missionary life. It’s called: The M.K. Way! Here is how it works: I’m in Africa. I’m sitting in a pastor’s home with something completely unidentifiable on my plate, from an animal my dad slaughtered with a machete - right before church began - all the whilst dozens of flies are hovering and landing in what appears to be “soup”. The dinner prayer has been prayed and we’re supposed to dig in. So…I dive…with a big smile on my face because…it’s the M.K. Way!

It came in handy while itinerating and visiting various churches across the United States. As my sister and I were paraded in front on hundreds of people we didn’t know, being prompted by our mother to proclaim, “Bwana Sifiwe” we could only do so, and manage to keep a smidgen of our pre-teen “dignity”, because…it’s the M.K. Way!

Someone else used it on me when I went to a college M.K. retreat in Colorado (my freshman year). I had never been on skis before, and the whole retreat was centered around God and skiing. Needless to say, as I stood at the top of the Black Diamond slope, looking down at an endless path of moguls something told me this wasn’t going to turn out so well. Just as I was thinking, “How the heck did I get up here?” a fellow M.K. smacked me on the back and said something stupid like, “You can do it Amy…it’s the M.K. Way!” I did it all right…I did it so well they had to call the ski patrol to come to my rescue. The first aid guys that placed me on the stretcher and carried me down the mountain were pretty cute, so I guess it kind of worked in my favor after all. Picking up guys…the M.K. Way!

I used it when I lived in France, and while mingling with a group of young professionals proceeded to call one of the men “cheri,” (over and over again) which is actually a term of endearment in the French language. I thought I was saying “cherry tomato”. I was able to smile and laugh (silly American) instead of crawl in a hole, because…it’s the M.K. way!

The M.K. Way has been a great coping mechanism through some challenging times in ministry too. Someone says something disrespectful and insensitive about my husband or myself, I can smile graciously and keep my mouth closed because…it’s the M.K. way!

However, while the M.K. Way works like magic in dealing with those not-so-glamorous moments of ministry, it really only masks what sometimes is a very deep hurt or pain. On the outside I’m smiling, I’m saying, “It’s okay,” (for the gazillionth time), and mentally willing the tears to not start pouring down my face…because, on the inside, I’m feeling lonely and rejected.

A year ago I sat in a crowded café, all by myself - for an hour - waiting for a group of women to show up for a little summer get-together. None did. I sent a text message to a friend that I thought for sure would be coming.  She had changed her plans at the last minute…I really wish I would have known. I would have changed my plans too.

I have lost count of how many times I have sat in a room, all by myself, waiting for someone…anyone…to show up for an event that I’ve planned. It is a very lonely place to be. In those excruciating moments, when the M.K. Way just won’t cut it, I begin to question God’s calling on my life, or at least my ability to fulfill that calling.

I started a mom’s group two years ago. (MomsConnect – yes, I will shamelessly put in a plug for this awesome group of women). For weeks – a lot of weeks - no one was coming. It started to get a little depressing. “What’s wrong with me?” I would ask this of myself, my husband, my sister, my parents…anyone and everyone! Every Thursday night I would cry my eyes out for at least an hour in the arms of my wonderful and loving husband. “What’s wrong with me?” The answer? NOTHING! There was – and is - absolutely NOTHING wrong with me. Thank God!

So, rather than masking the pain of loneliness and rejection - or whatever hurtful thing may be going on in life - with the M.K. Way, how do I/we cope?

Here’s how God is working on me in this area: I am encouraged by the fact that God knows where I am, what I am doing and the deepest desires of my heart. He has put me in this place for a season of time, and I know I am on the right track. I am encouraged inside to keep moving forward…keep putting myself out there…to keep initiating opportunities. While I love walking into my mom’s group – which has outgrown our little meeting room  – and seeing moms and kids mingling, laughing and socializing, I do so with a deep respect for the One who has drawn those other lonely mommies in there. Just as nobody showing up had nothing to do with me, all those chatty coffee mamas - who I get to laugh and cry with every week - aren’t coming because of me either. I guess I’m finding my “place” in God’s calling.

In regards to the loneliness, pain and rejection: The fact of the matter is, all three are quite certainly unavoidable. There is a void in my life that only God can fill – not a best friend, not success, not a dozen compliments. At the lowest and most challenging point in Christ’s ministry on earth he sought a dependable friend to tarry the night in prayer with him. Sadly, even those who were closest to him let him down. The anguish he must have felt when the reality of his own loneliness set in. I wept pretty intensely after being stood up for coffee last year. That cannot even come close to the heart wrenching weeping that caused Jesus’ tears to turn to blood. He stood alone in a way I never will. If I am ever wondering if anyone knows what it feels like to be alone, I don’t have to look far…Jesus is far more acquainted with this kind of pain than any human who has ever shed a friendless, lonely tear.

So, what can we count on? We can trust that: 1. God will always be there for us, 2. Human beings will eventually let us down, and 3. God knows what that feels like. I am learning, ever so slowly, to let God fill the God void, allow him to bring the right friendship at the right time to fill the friend void and not be discouraged even when my most dependable friend lets me down. Loneliness is a fact of life. Some of us have to endure seasons like this longer than others. So, we can take heart, keep putting ourselves out there, trust that God is in control and eventually we will all be meeting at a café, sipping cappuccinos and laughing about all our silly sob stories of lonely days gone by – M.K. style!