Have you thrown a temper tantrum lately? I have. I know what you’re probably thinking: “That’s something I’d like to see! Amy throwing a temper tantrum!” Before you get all excited envisioning my five foot eight frame flailing about on the ground, my meltdown was a little less exuberant. I didn’t realize at the time that my outburst was, in fact, a temper tantrum until we starting dealing with a succession of bedtime battles with Sydney.
Whether it was coming off of the holiday sugar high, or the stress we’ve been under over the past few months, or the fact that Joel was preparing to leave on an eleven-day building trip to Nicaragua with a group from our church, Sydney downright lost it. And when I say, “lost it”, I mean lost ALL of IT. Night after night we faced the same drama: arms and legs twisting and swinging this way and that; blood curdling screams that made our hearts drop to the pits of our stomachs; red-faced angry words that stung and bruised and didn’t make sense all at the same time. Sydney has always been a challenge, but meltdowns of this proportion are very rare, and this specific behavior hadn’t graced our lives in well over a year.
While Joel was in Nicaragua I begged God for a hiatus from these explosions. I think He must have had mercy on me, because, while there were still outbursts, they were manageable. Either that, or He granted me some much needed wisdom and insight in dealing with them properly. On one such occasion we were driving home from an outing, and it was late. Sydney started spiraling out of control emotionally. Instantly I had the good sense to stop her, and in a calm voice ask her what I could do to help. I said, “Sydney, I can see that you are upset, and I really want to help you. What is it that I can do for you right now?” She sniffled and snorted then said, “I can’t think. I’m crying.” I replied, “Then, you need to stop crying and start thinking. I love you and I really do want to help you, but until you stop crying and start thinking, there’s nothing I can do for you.” It was like magic. Instantly anger was diffused, muscles relaxed and she quieted down long enough to think and listen.
I’m not a super mom, by any means, but by remaining calm and thoughtful in an irrational moment, I was able to safely reign in my emotionally expressive child. This has made me think a lot about my relationship with God. While I haven’t been physically thrashing my body in a heated temper tantrum over not getting my way, I have been mindless in my cries to God. In my head I thought things were supposed to go a certain way, and they didn’t…so rather than stop and find out God’s thoughts on the matter, I’ve whined, cried, questioned, and blubbered out selfish one-way prayers. Sydney’s tantrums have brought much conviction to me.
When I finally drew in a deep breadth and exhaled, God had a chance to speak, to say, “Hey Amy, I really love you and I want to help you, but you need to stop crying first.” When I stopped crying, and started listening to the still, small voice of my Heavenly Father, He started speaking.
The following four life practices that I will be implementing this year are what I sensed God calling me to do in that quiet moment of reflection:
- Wait (in silence and solitude) – Psalm 46:10 NIV “Be still, and know that I am God.” Isaiah 40:31 KJV “But they that wait upon the Lord will renew their strength; they will mount up with wings as eagles.” Before I rush out planning and making decisions, I sense that God is quietly urging me to pause – to wait in the stillness of His presence. Rather than fret and worry, He is calling me to quiet my mind, seek after Him, long for Him, and He will bring clarity, straightforward answers and peace that passes understanding.
- Delight in the Lord – Psalm 37:4 “Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.” When I begin to delight, cherish and take care of those things that are dear to God, then He, in turn, will do the same for me. And really, God cares a million times more about my husband, children, daily needs, hopes, heart desires and dreams than I ever could. (I have a strong feeling I will need to practice this on a daily basis.)
- Thanksgiving – Psalm 50:23 NIV “He who sacrifices thank offerings honors me, and he prepares the way so that I may show him the salvation of God.” Sometimes it’s easy to come before God with a heart of thanksgiving; like after a long-awaited prayer has been answered, or everything in life is going our way. However, there are those times when thanksgiving is a sacrifice. It doesn’t come natural. It may even hurt. You know that scripture, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is the tree of life”? Well, offering up words of thanks and gratitude to God when the heart is sick is what I believe it means to offer up a sacrifice of thanksgiving. I believe God is calling me to thank Him even though I have yet to see the longing of my life fulfilled. In due time, He will make all things beautiful. I am going to focus on the hope of what is to come, thank Him in advance for it, even if it hurts.
- Sacrificial giving – Psalm 65:11 NIV “You crown the year with your bounty and your carts overflow with abundance.” Tithing is a no brainer. God’s Word instructs us to give Him a tenth of our earnings (Deuteronomy 14:22). When we do so, we are living in obedience. I don’t believe God to be a tyrant up there in heaven wielding a big stick, ready to swat at anyone who so much dares not tithe. However, I believe that those who do tithe are in a much better position for favor, blessing and protection than those who don’t. God is not legalistic, but He has set these instructions before us for our benefit. When we don’t tithe it only ends up hurting us, not Him. That said, even while tithing may sometimes feel like a sacrifice, Joel and I believe God is calling us to re-align our finances and give beyond our regular tithes and offerings – to give sacrificially. Only blessing can be reaped when we give to that which touches our Father’s heart, especially when that giving isn’t an easy thing to do.
So, there you have it, in a not-so-little nutshell. This is only the tip of the iceberg, but a great start to what I hope will be a life well lived – a life bearing fruit, pursuing a dream and leaving a legacy.