Bedtime routines were completed, and I had made my way downstairs to enjoy a couple of hours with Joel. Before he joined me, I turned on the television in the middle of a news program reporting the most recent child abduction cases in our country. Listening to the accounts of abuse and destructiveness, I found myself gripped deep in my heart with terror. Recalling all the times in a week I am out and about with my children and how vulnerable we are, fear seized me to the core, and I began to bawl like a baby.
Amazing to me how, in a moment of raw fear, my entire body can freeze and my mind goes completely blank. There is no rational thought process - only panic, anxiety, and momentary confusion. When Joel finally joined me, I tried to explain what I was feeling, but even saying it out loud was bordering on insanity. I suppose there was some truth to what I was thinking; we live in a different world these days. Children can’t just ride their bikes around the block or down the street because there are very bad people out there that blatantly act upon their evil compulsions. The “insane” part of my outburst was that I completely undermined the sovereignty of God and where He stands in the whole picture. I disregarded my own God-given instinct and wisdom that I take with me whenever I go anywhere with my little ones.
And I completely gave myself over to fear. And instantly became powerless, hopeless and frozen.
As I lay in bed last night, trying to get the tormenting thoughts of child abductions and kidnappings out of my head, 2Timothy 1:7 came to mind:
2 Timothy 1:7 (KJV)
For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.
As a child of God there is no room, no need, for fear. God has not given me a spirit of fear, but one of power, love, and a sound mind. A sound mind. I lingered on this one thought for quite some time. A mind - not controlled by fear and anxiety, worry or panic. A mind - whole, sound, complete and untroubled, filled with peace, confidence and assurance.
Then I thought of 1 John 4:18:
1 John 4:18 (KJV)
There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out all fear: because fear hath torment.
Perfect love. God is love. God, who gives me power, love, and a sound mind, wants to take the fear I am feeling and cast it out – to just get rid of it. Fear hath torment. Last night I was tormented with fear. I called to God, perfect in love and power, and He heard me. He came to me. He brought peace to my mind where once had been irrational thought.
Philippians 4:7 (KJV)
And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
This morning this powerful truth was reiterated through the timely words of our pastor. He spoke on submitting ourselves to God’s will and His plan for our lives. Once we have abandoned ourselves, not to our fears, but to the very loving and all-knowing hands of our Savior, then we will “unleash God’s peace that stands guard 24/7 over all that concerns me.” – Ray Noah (paraphrased). And then we will experience this:
“The settled assurance that because of God’s care and God’s competence, this world is a perfectly safe place for me, even though it doesn’t always seem so.” – Dallas Willard
Tonight I will sleep in peace with a sound mind, knowing that God’s hand is upon me, His power in me, and His plan unfolding before me.